Female Friendships - Why is it so hard to make and keep friends?

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Female Friendships - Why is it so hard to make and keep friends?

This is a touchy subject for me and I think I need help!! I know I'm not alone that lots of women find it hard to make and keep friends. So this is me having a heart to heart about female friendships and why I find them so tricky.

Where to find me:

Instagram: Livinganorganisedlife
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I've been evaluating my "friendships" lately and I think I realized the problem. They are all extroverts and value extroverted things. I think introverts care more about intimacy and real trust, etc. I could be wrong, but I feel like if I were to pretend to be an extrovert I could actually have a lot of friends if I wanted to. The only thing is, I wouldn't care about them so much as having a good time, hanging out, the next big adventure, someone to just have there for something to do, etc. I actually want a friend I can talk to and open up. When I try and talk to these women and open up to them... I don't think it is personal, but they are thinking, so when are we going to have some fun??? When it comes to talking...they like stories that have a lot of excitement, or drama, or anything thrilling. I just enjoy connection... So... living in an extroverted world, it's just harder to find. That's all. Maybe there are some extroverts reading this and disagreeing. I am just guessing, so I could be wrong. It could also be a values mismatch.

dorisw
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This whole video is the story of my life. I find a lot of women are very insecure around other women and it’s very frustrating. No friends, no drama, no jealousy.

novaheart
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I honestly think its a jealousy and competitive thing with so many girls and women. Ive always trusted a friends n got backstabbed by them. They r so easily intimidated. I realise women r soooo insecure. Its very hurtful.

leah
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I am an empath who can feel when other people are concealing their feelings. Communicating is an ongoing skill but sometimes my female friends have been passive aggressive. They burrow their resentment silently and then it comes out of the blue with rude comment, or put down. Women desperately need to spend more time in community settings to develop trust with one another and build lasting connections.❤

LoriBothwell
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I can't even count them, I have no close female friends, not one. I've seen women I know kind of pair up, meet each other for lunch etc. I'm left out. I'm not unfriendly, so I'm baffled, like you.

oliviamae
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I have had so many bad experiences with female friends that I am almost traumatized by it haha. Also, the females I meet all tend to be shady in some way or another and the vibe is just not there. Maybe it's something I need to work on or maybe its just something we have to deal with as women trying to make quality friends.

marisolramirez
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I think what it comes down to is there ARE healthy female friendships, but MOST women want
Gossip
Drama
To be jealous
To be controlling
To be narcissistic
To use you
And yes, ghost and dump you for no good reason other than giving them helpful healthy advice because most haven't healed childhood trauma.
And thats SO PETTY when they group up like that and leave us out !!! They need to communicate their feelings and also not be so rude.

bonezbaaaby
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I’m in my early 20’s and I’ve had this problem ever since I was a teenager.

ashlen
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I relate so much to this. I’m 24 and feel like i have no female friends outside of work, especially my own age. I have one friend from school who i’ve known for years, we meet up a few times a year but its always me who makes the effort to organise things and often see on social media shes out or doing things with other people. I think to myself what is it about me that makes me less fun or interesting because when we’re together we have a laugh and a nice time. It makes me so sad and I can feel really lonely at times.

LouiseT
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I Agree!!! Keeping Female Friendships IS DIFFICULT!!

Clairsmith
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This video has helped me to feel that I am not alone with this struggle. Somehow I feel inadequate that I do not have lots of close, amazing friends. The age of social media reinforces that we are all supposed to have this. When I was in my teens and twenties I was a drinker and I had loads of friends. Since having kids and sobering up it has become harder and harder to make friends and keep them. My introvert nature has definitely got a part to play, but I'm asking myself "do I isolate myself too much?" Reading the comments has made me realise that insecurities and jealousy may also play a part in my difficulties with female friends (others and my own!). I am so sensitive to peoples body language and facial expressions, I am convinced they don't like me or think I'm weird.

stottpot
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Just watching this 3 years later but you are not alone! I feel like sadly anytime people pick up on the genuine energy of a lovely soul they shut it down and want nothing to do with it! it is so hard to find real true friends who want nothing more than to share a cup of tea and the best times maybe it's just the world we live in unfortunately

mundanemaddie
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I find friendship hard work, especially when people have children and families. I find myself wanting to 'break up' with my friends for being rubbish at keeping in touch. But I find I can count the amount of real friends I have on one hand too. All you can do is keep trying but remember people can be fickle

missjessicakirwan
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Just think about Marylyn Monroe. You would assume she had a million friends, loyal suitors, a supportive family. Often when someone wins the genetic lottery, others assume they have never encountered struggle, loss or hardships. Teens look at pop stars and women in magazines and say ‘wow I want to be her’ totally forgetting that she is one of us. I know this will sound shallow.. but pretty girls stick together for a reason. Sometimes the best thing to do, is find more physically attractive and smarter friends, that get it and don’t hate

killapriscilla
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I’m 66 years old. And this has been a puzzle to me also. I’m very warm and giving. I open my home for meals, crafts, conversation. My entire adult life. They say I am a wonderful giving sincere person. I am one they will open up to not long after having met me. But it only goes one direction, “ out of sight out of mind” thing ...until I extend the invite again. 🤷🏼‍♀️Puzzled for life

theresasarvis
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Be lucky you have even one close friend. Many have none... How could anyone even handle more than a handful of close friends?

MyRedCarrot
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DUMPED BY FEMALE CHUMPS
This was so good. This has happened to me so many times. I can't figure out women, they are so flaky in this generation. They ghost you suddenly and you think "WHAT DID I DO WRONG?"

karenkellock
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I have sadly learned that these were the reasons for why I could not keep female friends or why I do not have any now:

- I am too honest and many women hate honesty and upfrontness even AFTER they ask for your advice. I mean I have literally been told that I am too honest and too nice by female friends who were the main ones always asking me for things or for help.
-Because I was a tomboy growing up and still have a little roughness to me to be an outside try anything and work out type of woman many guys like me which is a big reason for why some women who prefer being dolled up 24/7 or who are not as confident as I am, hate me.
- Women are jealous of me for the skills I have, the things I have done with my life, the places I have gone to, and the type of person I am. I don't brag about the things I do or who I am but there are male friends who have told me that they have heard my female friends saying things like, "She thinks she is all that...she thinks she knows everything..." but then when they get around me they do not act like this and claim to want to be around me and hang out. My male friends tell on them because they would talk about me behind my back while they could not see why I would have trust issues with trusting women and why I preferred more male friends to eliminate the drama in my life because I have zero tolerance policy. Yes guys act like this too but not as much as women.
- I hate drama and gossip which makes the women who love it, hate being around me because I cut it off quick and don't like to engage or I just leave and they think that I think I am better than them when in reality I just hate gossip and idle talk.

I'm just going to stick with Jesus being my friend because that has been working out perfectly for me.

ServantStatusMinistries
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Lol at least you have a handful of friends...all I want is one. My husband says my problem is that I’m so desperate to make friends that I do too much for people, and attract people that only use me.

alexiacardenas
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I feel exactly like you do! I know I’m a great friend because I put others first and actually care. Most of my friends now are guys because there a lot easier to deal with and understand. Girls are so complicated to figure out! A great book to read is called "Friendships Don't Just Happen" by Shasta Nelson.

JessicaMillerNashville