Scared of Therapy?

7 of the main reasons people are afraid of going to therapy, and some different ways to think about psychotherapy. This video identifies the 2 CORE ISSUES underneath being afraid to go to therapy. It also discusses the antidotes to these fears.

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Disclaimer:
This video was created by Barbara Heffernan, LCSW for educational purposes only. These videos are not diagnostic and provide no individual consultation. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, or professional care decisions should be made between you and your primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with. Barbara Heffernan is not available for individual consultation via YouTube, social media, or email, and provides services only in the manner mentioned above.

[katiegreen]

I have a very large fear of opening up too much to a therapist or breaking down in front of a therapist and having them make the medical decision to have me committed or something. I know it might seem stupid to some people but it's one of my biggest fears I didn't have a lot of control over my life in the past and having control over my life now is very important to me. Losing that control by being put in a medical setting away from my family is terrifying

[katiegreen]

In your example scenario that basically was me when I went to therapy the first time. I get sat in a weird little room with a person I've never met before and I'm asked to start the conversation and I have no idea where to start and I immediately get overwhelmed and start to cry. Repeat once a week for a month and a half and that was the extent of my insurance paid for therapy appointments I wouldn't call that a success.

[xanitajobe]

I had an awful experience with a therapist in my teens and have been scared of health care professionals since then. This year I have swallowed my fear and contacted my GP about getting a MH assessment. Still scared but the first step has been done 💕

[Joanavoice]

Fear of family reaction. I was terrified of how my controlling family would treat me when they found out and it was actually quite awful. I have met so many others who live inside the same dynamic who were afraid of the repercussions of getting help. I was still a teenager. The only help and support I received starting therapy, was from the therapist.

[doxfie.]

4:04 that sounds like a rationalization

[JXMvideos]

I recently got a TBI, and my complex PTSD is horrible now. I previously have had really traumatic experiences with therapists from bringing up the bad stuff. Made me much worse. Everyone says I need help. I don’t want to because I know that bringing up the 50+ traumas makes me rage, run, swear and smash things. Then it’s all stirred up and my life nosedives to the bottom and stays there. I am semi-willing to try EMDR, but can’t bear the thought of bringing up every single thing. I won’t survive. My LTR won’t survive. Talk therapy does nothing but rip me to shreds. I’m 61 years old and have tried therapy several times.

[catherinewholey]

I would love to have therapy but unfortunately have so far found therapists who, to put it very mildly, haven't had my best interests at heart. I'm having to confront these issues and help myself through boundary and self-esteem work, before I can trust another therapist. I know not all therapists are like this but the trust issues I now face stemming from the ones I chose to help me are making it very difficult to find the courage to try again. Maybe one day but not in the forseeable future

[rebeccajones]

My fear is that it's expensive and yes, fear of being judged. I trust my therapist, but I don't say much to my husband about going to therapy.

[alenasln]

My biggest fear is fear of judgement and labeling me with some awful personality disorder by the therapist. I’ve been watching a lot of psychology related videos recently, and noticed how easily they label people based on just few behavioral flaws. I’m also concerned about privacy issues.

[niewieder]

I’m scared of couple’s counselling more than one on one (which I have no fears about). This is due to a therapist who had a first joint session with my ex and me, then split us in the second session to make it 1:1 with her (an hour each).

To me she said the relationship is salvageable and there’s communication issues to be worked on. To him she said our relationship was meaningless and it’s best he get out.

We were as a couple supposed to have a follow up session the following day. I tried to cancel it. She charged us regardless of attendance.

Needless to say I complained about her to the relevant body.

[amyj.]

Go better help! I will be back with them with some money hopefully in due time, I'm just more concerned about a personal privacy problem due to a illegal surveillance issue. I want to be able to freely speak, and I'm still resolving this problem. In time, I will be able to return to therapy

[AndreaKendall]

First of course there is the ecconomic reality of going to therapy. For many people it is simply too expensive.

Personally for me it was childhood trauma. My mother was bi-polar. When she a bi-polar eposide when I was 16 the best that could be done was to put her in a hospital and give her drugs that made her letargic and removed a lot of normal cognitive abilities. This created a kind of PDST about therapy. I was afraid that if I went to someone they would lock me up like they did my mother. I am also come from a time when it was not culturally accepted to go to therapy. It was seen as a sign of a lack of will power. Now this is all in the past. Nothring makes me happier than knowing that younger people are able to get the help they need.

Also methodologies and knowledge have come a very long way. We now have a lot of really good science on what works. But since you asked I thought I would share this.

[andysimpson]

I'm 44 year old and suffered for the last 30 years I was 14yo when it started because of childhood trauma ( the worst kind of trauma imaginable) my life is truly awfull, apparently my doctor said I suffer from health anxiety, panic disorder, emotionally unstable personality disorders, depression, panic attacks, agoraphobia, insomnia, constantly worrying about me health, I have no interest of doing anything, I don't laugh at what most people find funny, I'm always tearful, always tried with no energy what so ever, as soon as I stand up I feel dizzy, heart racing shaking, chest pain, shortness of breath and high BP but doctor said I do not have hypotension, I'm always fearing the next panic attacks, I have had bloods done and ECG and even went to see a neurologist, all came back normal results, I just can't seen to shake off the feeling of doom and dread, the only way I can explain how I feel is " imagine going in to a bar and you see your friends at the back of the bar at the far end of the room, you see them laughing and fooling around enjoying themselves, and there is a smoke machine filling the bar with smoke, but the smoke is black and I can't see nothing sound me apart from a falling feeling, deeper in to the black hole filled with smoke, in the distance and hear the happiness from my friends but I can't find then or join them, I'm getting dragged deeper in the hole with the vision of unknown hands dragging me down and deeper and deeper in to the black smoke filled hole, I'm screaming for help but my voice is muted and I'm trying to pull myself out of the hole but it's like I'm trying to get out of black thick oil that's filled the hole along with the black smoke, I want to laugh with my friends but my thoughts and racing heart and my constant battle with the black hole depression is making me that exhausted and tired I just don't have the energy, this is the only way I can explain how I am feeling, when I do want to do something my anxiety thought pop into my head ( I call him sooty) sooty says " your not going anywhere, your not going to enjoy it, I will make sure of it " then I will have an image in my head ( not literally an image ) but like I can see the scenario in my head ( for example) going in the the store and while in in the store I can see myself ( in my head not literally) in the store floor with paramedics surrounding my working on me with machines and wires everywhere trying to resuscitate me after a heart attack or a stroke, while my partner is looking over my crying and surrounded by on lookers, them my heart raced feel dizzy sweating, feel sick vision blurry, stuttering and can't get my words out, headaches churning tummy, and the fear of a panic attack while feeling like my whole body is literally shutting down, so I just sit and cry while curled up in a ball day in day out and constantly sleeping not because I'm sleepy but because when I'm not awake I don't feel the suffering, I am so alone and just see the four walls in my living room 24/7, even just walking to the kitchen to make a coffee is a living hell as soon as I stand I feel dizzy start sweating BP goes up to around 187/107 and pulse 136 on average ( my doctor said it's just temp spikes because if anxiety and the fear of doing stuff the making my BP spike) when I'm sitting my BP is around 117/72 and resting heart 68 to 79 . I don't drink and stopped smoking and I have been in Zoloft/ sertealine but it gave my diarrhoea between 8 to 12 times a day constantly for 10 weeks so the doctor took me off them, they didn't change a thing and did not improve my mental health infact I fell worse, my doctor now wants me to try another SSRI called fluoxatine/ Prozac but I'm not going to take it as it's another SSRI so I can see the diarrhoea starting all over again, I'm currently on week 2 of CBT THERAPY with a therapist, and I really don't know what else to do, my friends say my appearance has changed and I look tired and warn out, I have even started to get like a dermatitis like patches on my face and head, apparently due to high stress, I have seen a neurologist too because when I partly smile my face goes into spasm like a tremor almost like a hemifacial tremor, mainly my right side of my face near my jaw feel like it's dropped and lips and mouth feels droopy, along with a stuck feeling in my throat, I literally feel like my body is dying, I have days where I even struggle to move my body arms legs and even turn my head I'm that warn down I'm 44 and feel like I'm 102yo old man, this really is a living hell, I can honestly say in my life I have never experienced happiness or the happiness feeling I truly do not know what that feels like I cannot remember the last time a laughed or smiled, I look out my window in the morning at people getting in there cars for work and smiling at there loved one while they head off to work or go for trips and days out with there loved ones will tears and running down my face crying because I'm so envious and jealous that I can do that or would love to do that, I feel so lost in the smoke and can't find my way out. Someone please listen and help me I don't want to be or feel alone any more. When my attacker went to prison it said in the papers " perpetrator gets 18months, victim does life " how true this is .I can't work, I'm on disability, I financially struggle to make ends meet and don't trust anyone, it's a living hell, all I want is to experience some form of life as I don't know how to or know what that's like .please help me I feel so alone and lost.

[work]

I don't trust that a therapist as a professional with my most valuable possession. I expect an expert in the mind to help me resolve my issues. But if they aren't experts, and just getting by on personality how would I know? I don't think this is akin to not trusting because my father left... but more like not trusting because my mechanic screwed up my brakes and I know that lots of people aren't very good at their jobs. My fears: Taking harmful or ineffective advice being unable to judge for myself if its good or not until its too late. And being actually judged/diagnosed and the follow-on real-world consequences. And of course just wasting a ton of time and money to get 4-5months later and "start moving the right direction".

[Allen_ajp]

Hello Barbara. I have a little different kind of question: how do you know whether you need a therapy at all? How to evaluate your mental and emotional health? Is there any good test you can advice?

[PuraaneGaane]

by following your drill down arrow method, one of the things I found out is I am used to so addicted to sadness. I love sad songs too, always did
how do I reprogram this?

[peterreed]

There's no way to open up to a stranger especially about those deep routes issues that stress me out. I've not cried in over 40 years, not even when my wife and mum died. I was taught men don't cry so I don't. I really don't care if anyone judges me because the views of a person who judges me is irrelevant. It takes me about 5-10 years minimum to start to trust people, therefore there's nil chance of me trusting a therapist. As such there's no point in wasting the therapist' s or my time. I've tried therapy several times but no therapist has got close to getting me to open up. I find Socratic questioning insulting which a lot of therapists often rely on. Also even if they use open questions I can simply shut them down with closed questions. Also when I started therapy I gave the therapist a list of topics which were out of bounds and which I would not answer questions about.

[alisharichards]

What if you're not sure why you're afraid?

[mrs.christmas]

Wow. You really nailed it!
And, you're really nice.
I can see how you'd build trust with your patients.
You seem really understanding.

I might just add one more fear to the list that wasn't mentioned here, and that is:
The Government, Prosecutor's and Attorney's gaining access to your patient notes and records, and using your most personal and painful information against you in a Court of Law, or otherwise.

This whole Johnny Depp/Amber Heard Lawsuit has been a HUGE eye-opener to me, revealing that your private information really IS NOT "PRIVATE", and can be used against you at a later date, if you're ever involved in a Lawsuit, or been accused of a crime.

It's just SHOCKING to me, how all of this information can be put on public display for the WORLD to see! 😩

It's seems like a complete BETRAYAL of Doctor/Patient confidentiality!