The 'Male Gaze' is Why You're Ugly

Let's talk about tiktok, male gaze, female gaze, toxic gender roles, kylo ren & feminine eboys.

[safirarubia]

I never noticed how the "slowly filming the woman's body, feet to head" thing on movies is objetifying, it's so normalized that I always perceived as "look at this gorgeous outfit"

[Justastudent]

I'm sorry, but the gaze I love is when younger kids look at me and think I'm cool or want to grow up to look like me. Bonus points if they compliment me. It's the best feeling ever!

[faye]

the internalized male gaze is so deep in my system it's insane. when im in school, i feel like im constantly posing for a guy, even when im at home.

[Ralooca]

I noticed something about feminine men. It's not just their softness that is attractive, but also their confidence. You need a lot of courage to act by how you feel, especially when society is against it when you should "act like a man".

[hummusslurp_]

That's why I apply what I call the "lovers gaze" to my life, I treat myself and look at myself how a lover would. If you've ever been in a relationship, you know that even on a day where they look really crusty, haven't showered in a week and have frizzy hair, you'll still look at them and smile, thinking they're the most beautiful person in the world. That's how I try to see myself :)

[Thanateros]

No joke, the Sims really makes me aware of how feelings can get in a way of doing things. Sims just do thing without overthinking or fear of judgmental. They live their life by fulfilling necessities from doing tasks to achieve their goals. Be like Sims!

[sunflower-wyoj]

i had some internalized misogyny when i was around 5-13. i was embarrassed to be feminine because i thought it wasn’t cool and i would never wear jewelry, pink, dresses, or anything remotely feminine. its only recently i started embracing my feminity and followed my true desires: i wanted to wear cute jewelry and pink. but i’ve always struggled with boys taking me seriously, they automatically assume im dumb and one dimensional, and apparently embracing my feminity further fueled that perspective. luckily ive matured a lot by this point and whenever they are rude to me or devalue me, i call them out like a queen and ive learned to be a boss lady with a touch of pink 💅

[NessyontheGo]

This is why I struggle with body hair. It's not that only men find it unattractive, but women too. I remember when I was debating not shaving my legs, my own mother was like, "What else are you gonna spend your time on? Just shave it." ...why? Men don't have this same type of pressure. And before anyone says that body hair is manly, it literally grows on women too. We were just told we had to get rid of it for the sake of fake femininity.

[teapotsoup]

I would like to put forward: the drunk bathroom girl gaze. Most loving people I've ever met.

[lotusliketheflower]

Miss gurl is out here educating absolutely everyone

[ashmax]

"Reject modern humanity and be a randomised Sim". This really touched my heart.

[alisonguerra]

Kpop has rlly made me realize how I am attracted to feminine guys way more then masculine guys

[-Roos-]

"Men dream of women, women dream of themselves being dreamt of. Men look at women, women watch themselves being looked at. Women constantly meet glanses which act like mirrors, reminding them of how they look, or how they should look. Behind every glance is a judgement. Sometimes the glance they meet is their own reflected back from a mirror. A woman is always accompanied except when quite alone, and perhaps even then, by her own image of herself. While she is walking across a room or weeping at the death of her father, she cannot avoid envisioning herself walking or weeping. From earliest childhood she is taught and persuaded to surveil herself continually. She has to surveil everything she is and everything she does because how she appears to others, and particularly how she appears to men is of crucial importance, for what is normally thought of as the success of her life."

This is a quote by John Berger in episode 2 of his series "Ways of Seeing" (1972). Berger is the man who first used the concept of "the male gaze". The term itself was coined by Laura Mulvey. She discussed the male gaze primarily in relation to film. I think this quote perfectly describes the male gaze and its long history as John Berger discusses it in relation to oil paintings from over 300 years ago.

Edit: I added (1972)

[Mila-lpxs]

“and men who look submissive and breedable” the way you so casually slipped that in there 💀💀

[ellaj.]

I have struggled with "the male gaze" my whole life. As of recently I have realized that I am a lesbian, but I am afraid to tell people because I know I will get less attention from men. I have never been attracted to a real guy before and I never will, but I can't function without the constant validation of getting objectified by men. I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

[planttipswithempress]

My favourite example of female vs male gaze in film is Harley Quinn in the Suicide Squad movie and then her in the Birds of Prey movie, the way she is filmed, the outfits, the perspective of the camera, the way she supports the other women in the cast. It's so fascinating to see the same character from an empowering perspective rather than an object. Obviously there are a lot of the issues you mention in there still, but it was at least refreshing 😅

[MakaParamoreEvans]

"reject modern humanity, and be a randomized sim" is gonna be my new life motto thanks ❤️

[Idkgurl]

The funniest thing about this is that I used to dislike a particular feature of my face because I was thinking how men see it, and then a man complimented me on this exact feature and for the exact reason why I didn’t like it, he thought it was exactly what made it attractive 😂😂 So at the end of the day the male gaze might have more to do with what society expects men to like, it might not be at all what individual men truly like without having been conditioned to have a specific taste.

[julianunez]

i'm wearing a crop top and high waisted leggings as i watch this and i realize that i've conditioned myself to think that this is cute and comfortable. when in reality, the leggings are far too tight and i'm dressing for the male gaze and male/female validation. i almost wanna throw out all my leggings and just get yoga pants... because those... those make me happy

[rimmijohnson]

An amazing book is ‘the beauty myth’ by Naomi Wolf.
It talks about how ‘beauty’ is a psychological weapon used to dehumanize women and keep us in a mental prison.
Powerful read.