Turning the tables on narcissistic parents

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[PJF]

I never understood how someone can use you as a punching bag and then expect you to treat them with kindness and respect.

[DaveJohnson-Php]

The parents calling her an asshole and saying she deserved what she got as a child speaks volumes. Run!

[charlotteaponte]

I have complex PTSD from being abused by narcissistic parents. I went no contact 6 years ago and I don't regret it. I was the scapegoat and both my brothers were treated better than me and they got special privileges. The bottom line, I became successful after I went no contact. I graduated college and bought a new car and condo. Now my family wants me in their lives. I did well for myself, by myself and I owe them nothing!!! I am very content with the no contact.

[His_Positive_Vibez]

Cutting contact with my narcissistic mother was a life changer. I never realized how hurt and confused I was until I did it. And after some meditation and therapy, I'm better than ever and finally healed from childhood abuse.

[intelligent_rope]

Say "Sorry, I can't afford to pay the debts/mortgage of 3 people" and slam the door in their entitled faces. So happy for this glorious queen 🙌

[abracadaverous]

If her parents are telling her that she "deserved" her upbringing, she can tell them they "deserve" to lose their house, since they weren't smarter with their money. They sent her brothers on fabulous trips instead of saving for their future. Gosh, life's tough.

[crystalcole]

I'm commenting twice just to highlight how important it is for her TO NOT RENT TO HER ABUSIVE PARENTS. That opens up a legal channel that they can use to sue her for any sort of trumped-up reason. If she won't give them money, they could try to wring it out of her. She has to be more careful now that she has resources, not less careful. And that includes giving to her siblings or anybody around them.

[leighm]

Awesome story.
Kind of disagree with the idea of her becoming their landlord though.
They obviously can’t pay rent, and she’d inevitably have to evict, and go through being shamed and guilted again which could be triggering for her. I’d say move on with her life.

[missrockstarglamazon]

Beautiful poetic justice ! As a only girl of 7 siblings all boys I was never shown love affection or validated. I eventually made it as a athlete winning the country title I live in and becoming a tv actress and film stunts woman in two major academy award winning films . I still struggle with the fact I lost half my life to never being able to be confident until I was in my early 40s because of that experience.

when I hit 49 I cut my entire family off and relatives . I realised they were the problem and I was just trapped in a family dynamic of cold abusive males my mom suffered for it so much now when I look back that she always said her favourite was one of the boys, never me as a only girl, it use to cut me deep when I heard her say that, I was only 13 when she would say it too.

My dad never acknowledge me either and on his death bed all my siblings never showed me the will and shared the will between them. I will say I’m happier now, but still struggle to trust which causes issue with me trying ti have relationships or friendships. Yep it’s lonely sometimes, but I have gotten so use to it I’ve normalised being alone and see it as healthy.

I now realise It also explains why every-time I try to form a relationships they turn out ti be narcissistic or bipolar, which is another reason Ive just given up and cannot be bothered trying to meet Someone, although I always look in hope.

[Waterharmony]

Her parents traumatized her and neglected her, she owes them nothing, but they owe her, at the very least, an apology!

[Tarotlynx]

She's obviously compassionate and fair. Buying her grandparents their dream home? Helping her aunt pay off her medical school debt? Yeah, this girl is nice - to those who deserve it.

[hibiscusqueen]

My father did everything in his power to obstruct my work as a scientist. When I became affiliated with one of the best universities in the world he tried claiming that success. So from my experience I'd be apprehensive to buy the house and rent it to my parents which would give them power to keep pestering me in petty ways. Not worth it.

[marilynlorraine]

Her parents deserve nothing. How could anyone do that to their child? They are monsters and they even admit they treated her horribly as a child so they KNEW it was abuse. Monsters.

[CrystalMarieS]

Gosh. I have burnt myself out being the bigger person. Good for her. I had no safe place to land - still don't. I hope she stays away from them altogether.

[kellyvargas]

This lady was so fortunate to have loving grandparents. God bless them.

[Heidi]

I don’t think renting the house to her parents would be a good idea, they would shame her even more for not letting them live there rent free. Too much emotional distress! She needs to get away from them as far as possible to not get reminded of her childhood trauma all the time!

[venusrising]

She is not the A hole....
-The parents can't get jobs?
- The golden child brothers w/the free college educations can't get jobs?
- After that treatment, even being their landlord would be too much contact. Jealousy over her success & being her tennants will infuriate them. You just know they would refuse to pay the rent & run up repairs w/the potential for litigation to pay her back for not bailing them out. They're not worth the inevitable problems.
- She should bail at the speed of light.

[lindagithaiga]

As a fellow scapegoat, I am very proud of her 💪

[NotesFromTheArmchair]

🐐🙋‍♀️ As a scapegoat who went full No Contact after finally realizing that “being the bigger person” only serves to make the dysfunctional family system & narcissistic family members work even harder at trying to blame you and tear you down, I have to say this is a real gem:

“Being the bigger person often just means that the narcissist gets their way and it just emboldens and feeds their entitlement.”

When you think about it, no one should have to “be the bigger person.” If there isn’t a baseline sense of equality as human beings, then, sadly, it’s unlikely you’ll ever find a sense of comfort or balance within that family system.

[lillieberger]

Absolutely do not rent to your parents! Keep the toxicities out of your life.