Why You Should Stop Giving This 'Compliment'

We partnered with our friends at AARP to explore this phrase, "She looks great for her age." How many times have you heard someone say this? Have you ever said something like this? When people justify a compliment with the words "for her age," no one bats and eyelash. But, if you heard someone justify a compliment by saying, "...for an asian" or "...for a thick girl," it would sound pretty offensive. So, we wanted to talk with some women who might not have realized they were making these kinds of comments about the women in their own lives.

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[CalabarSweetii]

The pregnant lady is more than beautiful.

[MusicIsOurSavior]

The black lady looks amazing for her age. I thought she was twenty. I hope no one got triggered by this now 😂

[jordanps]

Comparing racism to age is a bit of a stretch don't you think?

[e]

Not all go through life being asian or thick. However we do all age. I don't think this is comparable.

[puntco]

This concept did not make it for me. You are literaly putting words in their mouths. You ask them to say the backhanded compliment because YOU put it on the screen and ask them to read it out loud.

[ClandestineSnowman]

Can we go back to a time when we all just had a little tougher skin....for our age?

[lapulga]

Just don't compliment them, no problem, no worries.

[nickframpton]

This trend of being a victim needs to stop.

[cameronedwards]

I swear to god people are so sensitive nowadays

[reaganwolf]

Y’all really complaining about getting compliments? How desperate to be a victim are you?

[TheSpicyPotatoe]

Its now an insult to tell someone they look younger than their biological age? That's nowhere near the same as telling someone they are funny for being a certain ethnicity. Please fix your logic error and sensitivity

[rea]

I ended up laughing at most of the "compliments/insult" because they were sounding absolutely surreal to me. And then I realized some people think that way and it became scary...

[Joe-sosu]

I thought "for their age" just meant that the person seems to be better than most people at that age?

[reshmaadhikari]

This is the reality. It's not like people are sensitive, it really hurts. I'm 18 years old black girl and since I was little I've been listening to people saying "you look pretty for a dark skin girl". WTF does that even mean. Am I supposed to be ugly?why is it that I'm pretty for a darkskin girl?why can't I just be pretty?

[doloresjagodic]

this is such a non problem *stop being offended by everything*

[MyCrimsonMischief]

"...for her age" this is the hill you want to die on, really? You trying to compare that phrase to stereotypes it's false equivalency, come on you can do better. How about we stop gaslighting and use our intellect.

[sophieunderwood]

People are so sensitive these days I dont get this so dumb like I get that those "she dances well for a white girl" is rude but comparing that to "she looks good for her age" is such a stretch it not secret that beauty dies out when ur old and grey but if you see someone looking good and their old and grey compliment them saying they look good for their age it's really not that deep jeez

[perfumaphilia]

For all those saying it's not offensive: when your say, "You look good for your age" it can be read as "I wouldn't expect someone your age to look good." Not always, but it can be interpreted that way. It's best just to say, "You look great!" and leave it at that.

[aivpodcast]

I've stopped giving women compliments all together.

[kiarahodgson]

Ok but literally everyone ages, not everyone is part of a specific group. Therefore there’s nothing wrong with saying “for their age”, it’s not discrimination, whereas those others could be considered so