Jordan Peterson: Men who make the worst partners

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[williamdarcy]

The wisdom of a grandfather, the intellect of a professor, the heart of a healer. A special human being. Thank you for this man we need his voice more now than ever.

[sonicwingnut]

My partner of 11 years claimed we never really argue. I said we argue all the time - we just do it amicably. We then proceeded to argue (or didn't) over what constitutes an argument. I think the main key to being a good partner is simply to successfully develop a deep empathy for that person, and to control your emotions. Empathy is of course key to controlling said emotions - it's harder to get angry at someone if you put yourself in their shoes. Also just accept that relationships are hard work and involve compromise.

[wavesonswim]

As someone who’s been raised by a narcissistic parent I’m painfully aware of my flaws, and crushed by the awareness of still having blind spots. I know I need a partner that has self awareness, because I want to grow with someone who doesn’t have it in them to believe that they are a finished product

[Axiomatic]

He really upped his fashion game in the past few years.

[ekowkumasi]

a narcissistic person doesn't want someone to challenge them.

[markjohnson]

A friend of mine said, 'the reason you get married is so you can argue with someone who won't walk away.'

[seankauder]

I think the failure of relationships with too few negative interactions might also be explained by a lack of conflict resolution. Ignoring small disagreements and not talking about them when they arise builds resentment and leads to bigger conflicts.

[juliuscaesart]

You attract what you are. I’ve attracted girls here and there sure yet I feel they were not quite on par completely. I took a good hard look at myself this last year. I am no where near my best and I’ve been personally developing myself now more than ever before. Everyone is looking externally for someone to “complete” them but no one wants to audit themselves and look internally. Happiness needs to be intrinsically motivated. We all have some baggage but most people are putting a band-aid on a broken leg. You have to dig deep about your own morals, values and vision of the world.

[Skatejock]

I always tell people, society focuses too much on positive only. They fail to see where this so-called “negative” isn’t actually negative. They blind themselves to reality. Positive only is opening doors to failure. You must be conscious of both. We need positive and negative in any relationship. Not all things are completely negative. Sometimes those “negatives” are necessary.

[looopaa]

i’m dating a guy rn who always backs away from negative topics (past experiences, touchy subjects, current unsolved struggles, disagreements, self-criticism) so i’m really feeling/living what jordan’s talking about here. it’s been a couple months and at first the hyperpositivity was fun, but the >11 positive experiences and 1 negative experience a week makes things so strange, i feel idk what’s really going on in his mind - even though what he says is genuine, it’s just never negative. as a result i feel that i cant deepen the bond or challenge him (& vice versa), he always wants to help me ‘grow’ but idk how we’re meant to do that if he doesn’t divulge criticism, the things he’s struggling with, or issues that are harder to talk about - ones that we don’t have an answer for yet. he just says “it’s not nice to talk about, tell me what good thing happened to you today” or “talking about that won’t add anything to the conversation” or sometimes he even just goes into his own thoughts until i change the subject….might show him this cuz idk how else to tell him. it honestly is making me less attracted to him because things are always the same, shallow almost.

[tyler]

Why take a philosophy class when this guy is on YouTube

[omloml]

It’s so much better when you can tell that the professor actually cares about what they are teaching

[celestegarcia]

The worst partner for me would be a man who wants you to work hard to pay the bills, come home to cook clean, have sex, bear his children without marriage, and still look and act cute and feminine around him. This scenario actually terrifies me.

[yucatansuckaman]

He goes to really high and big concepts then immediately to smaller and more personal ones that parallel. Really cool stuff.

[desireea]

I think there's too much focus on our expectations of how our partners should be rather than focusing on being a good partner. I think if we focus on improving ourselves it would be a much better investment since we only have control of ourselves anyways.

[Will_b]

I always thought that finding someone who makes you want to be a better person was such bullshit.
Well I met my wife 15 years ago when I was 25 and I’m here to tell you, it’s absolutely true…I wasn’t the nicest person and in many ways I’m still not. But she made me want to do better try harder and just be a better person. And she challenges me constantly to this day…thank god!

[chocolatebomb]

This man is so popular because there is an entire generation of middle-aged boys wandering around aimlessly that were never taught to think for themselves.

[mscir]

The Javanese have an expression, that marriage is like rubbing two rice grains together to knock off the outer dried, sharp edged hulls, exposing the sweet cores.

[Adrian-uyrh]

Jordan peterson: you have to have at least 5 positive interactions per 1 negative interaction
Parents: 1 positive per 10 negative take it or leave it

[taebby]

I was in a relationship with an extreme narcissist and I'm someone who agrees with everything - it was volatile. Then I was with someone where everything was a fairy tale, but we had one disagreement and he left and he never spoke to me again. So he was probably a narcissist too. I've never met a man who would allow me to disagree with them, but yes it's healthy to disagree and challenge and encourage one another. I'll have to listen to this a few times because I don't understand it really, but I want to