“Why I think women should stay in the home” | Don’t Turn Around

Someone's standing behind you saying something you find offensive. Can you resist turning around to engage them? That's the challenge facing Charlie, a feminist, as she listens to Siobhan - who believes 'it's in women's nature to nurture', and so they're better off at home. Charlie doesn't agree, but can she resist the urge to turn around?

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[danielrossi]

Postmodernism: women are free to do whatever they feel will benefit them. If you want to be a housewife then be one, if you want a professional career, then go and get one.

[nepadron]

I am a feminist, and therefore I support a woman's right to have dignity and choose her own fate.
I prefer to be a "stay at home" mom and work at home vs having a paying job -- but that is what works for MY family -- not everyone's.
I also think women who choose to take this path should not be branded as lazy, or stupid, or old-fashioned. I had a great job for a decade before choosing this life. The ability to CHOOSE is what is at the root of feminism.

[nytesla_punk]

I don't care what you believe in, but as long as you don't force others to agree with your opinions, and you don't harm those who disagree, I'm fine with it.

[mariadoyle-sofola]

Not all women want to be mothers and wives tho

[HH-bzme]

I feel like some women tend to idealize the 40's and 50's era where women weren't allowed to work.

They have this romantic view of women just playing with their kids all day and doing a bit of laundry and that's it. It wasn't like that.

Alot of men who knew that they had control over their wives bc of their income were very violent and mothers with deceased or ill partners were destitute.

Alot of people see those marriages that lasted for 60 or more years as 'relationship goals'.
Most of them lasted bc one participant didn't had any other CHOICE than to make it last.

I think real feminism is a woman's choice to start a career, become a wife, stay at home mom or whatever else she aspires to be but not because society told her to.

[bitchmcgee]

Does the white chick not think that many women are incredibly unhappy staying at home with the children. My mother was forced to stay at home and watch me and my siblings and it turned her into an alcoholic, she tired to go into rehab many times but nothing seemed to work..not until she got out of the house and got a job, now she is happier and more fulfilled than ever.

It's not the same for everyone, but no man or woman should be forced to specific roles or be told how to live their lives.

[chromatilla]

no one has the right to tell other people what to do with their lives, how is this even in question?

[doraelburg]

My mom stopped working when she had children, she stayed home for us. Because she WANTED TO not because it was expected from her. When we got older she started working again. I am very happy that my mom was always at home for me but not everyone has that choice or wants to.

I think everyone has to make their own choice in the matter but never be forsed.

[tangerinefizz]

Generalizing about people on the basis of gender is a huge mistake. Not every woman is a nurturer or wants children.

[baby.seadogs]

Her critique about the workforce is really a critique of neoliberalism, not feminism... She's blaming women for neoliberalism 🤦

[laneys]

Woman should be free to work and whatever she chooses to do. A doctor, a nurse, lawyer, a Pilot

[Metonymy]

She assumes that the reason women are in the work place is because they want to work and not because they have to. A lot of my friends mother's would have loved to have stayed home but the dead beat Dad's didn't give them that option. I bet she ends up divorced.

[Eniphesoj]

For all those who say, "yeah but if women want to stay at home that should be fine if it is a choice". The thing is, Siobhan is not advocating for giving women a choice. If she wants to be stay at home mom, that is totally fine if that's what she wants (and if her future partner wants that too). But she shouldn't be saying "a woman's place is at home", or "woman are better at housekeeping" or "men are smarter than women". That may all be true for her, but not for every woman. Some women are genuinely happier having a job, and are not better at housekeeping. THAT is the problem with this girl, she is not speaking only for herself but for every woman.

Also, while I respect other people's choices and I can understand some people want one parent to be at home for the kids, I don't think it is a free choice. Did none of you ever asked themselves why men are only very rarely stay at home dads? Simply because that is not expected of them (and even found weird and lazy if they would opt for that choice), whereas women are less expected to have a career. Because women get way more parental leave than men (which is logical in a way as she is the one giving birth). So the guy goes back to work while she becomes a pro at nursing the baby, and thereby naturally taking up many responsibilities regarding the children. Because many guys are unwilling to make sacrifies so that their wives can also have a career. Because many bosses will not agree to a man working part time in order to spend time with his chilren. Becoming a stay at home mom may be a choice but one dictated by gender roles and expectations that society has on men and women.

Also I think it is not a clever choice. What if your husband goes and cheat on you, and actually you want a divorce but you're not financially independent, and you haven't worked in 10 years and no employer wants to hire you? Or, if you are 100% sure that your husband will never ever do that, what if he dies? Gets really sick?

[archive]

“Women are less happy now”
EVERYONE is less happy now

[strawwberryyy]

I can't even watch this because I'd get so insanely annoyed

[bibblebobble]

Meh, be a housewife if you like, also be a doctor or lawyer if you like.

[lizziem]

Quick question for Siobhan:
How are lesbian couples meant to stay alive if both shouldn’t work? How are gay men meant to raise children? How are single women meant to keep a roof over their head? I’m honestly very curious.

[lizziem]

Jesus Christ what the hell is Siobhan on about

[dumfriesspearhead]

Women have always worked. Before the Industrial Revolution (working class) women worked when the family was a unit of production, not consumption.

After the Industrial Revolution, there was a need for more labour and women worked in factories, mills etc. Women and children also worked in mines initially and children were chimney sweeps. Neither women or children had the economic luxury of staying at home.

This predates what you'd call 1st wave feminism, which was started by middle class women who wanted the chance to work and have careers.

So this notion that women should stay in the home is a relatively new one. Blame the Industrial Revolution and then the technological revolution for the increase of women in the workplace, but understand that historically this is nothing new for w/c women.

Social movements don't arise out of nowhere; they're all connected with the economic and industrial environment of the time.

[jasminehissey]

From a woman, I love being a housewife, I love making my husband food, and cleaning up after everyone is always so rewarding. My children and my husband are my life!