The Case for Modest Clothing

If societal norms are such that it’s normal or even expected that some, especially young attractive woman, should embrace their sexuality by dressing in revealing clothing, then that ends up restricting the freedom of those who wish not to be participating in that expression of sexuality.

We probably agree that strangers shouldn’t be looking at other strangers, for the most part, and since I am one of the people who agrees with that, I do my best not to look and make assessments of other people’s bodies when I’m out in public, but I’m finding that increasingly difficult to do, through no choice of my own.

Because if everyone, or at least a significant portion of people are dressed in a revealing way, especially now that it’s summer time again, when I go to a public event in which there are crowds of people, I find myself averting my eyes everywhere I look only to discover that unless I want to be staring at the ground, there isn’t much point in going out to crowded placed.

In other words, my #freedom to simply be in public and enjoy the thing I went to go enjoy, like a concert, a day at the beach, or the rodeo, is now an exercise in finding the slivers of geography where my eyes can rest without seeing body parts that I didn’t ask to see.

We talk about freedom of thought, freedom of speech, and freedom of mobility as intrinsic rights, but what about the freedom to be able to open your eyes and not have someone else’s attempt at making a provocative statement about their body imposed on my field of vision.

Because that’s what it is, by the way, and that’s what makes this whole mentality so incoherent. To insist on pushing the boundaries of revealing clothing is to do something provocative and to act provocatively is, by definition, to try to create attention for yourself. But then to insist that people aren’t allowed to give that attention is to insist on a contradiction.

#modestclothing #modestout #chastity

[violetvither]

as a woman i dress with intent. if i wear a short or tight dress, booth shorts or a low cut shirt i do so so get peoples attention. i enjoy being looked at so i dress the part.

if a man stares at me or whistles as i walk by i don't care. i quite literally wanted that exact reaction.

of course clothes are never an excuse to rape or assault someone. never. that's just violence and never justified except for cases of self defense. but i don't think anyone can tell a person where to look and where not. especially if the parts are out on full display voluntarily.

[marenlatham]

I am a Catholic convert from the Mormon church and as a girl and a young woman I was given many lessons on modesty, but one lesson that really stuck with me was a teacher saying, "Modesty is respect for other people. It's not about wether or not YOU are comfortable dressing like that, it's what you are forcing everyone else to see." That really hit home for me.

[morgangreenlee]

"If you share intimacy with everyone, then it is not intimate. It will never be special because it is not exclusive."
Facts

[TaylorJohnson]

I dress modestly for others. It is a social etiquette practice that has served me well.

[niv]

Definitely a valid perspective, but I would take a different one than the "freedom" angle. I think a better perspective to employ, when promoting modesty in dress, is to see it as the flipside of masculine chivalry. Chivalry is important as a kind of spiritual discipline to avoid the potential abuses of particularly male power. For example, we engage in exercises like giving up seats to women, holding doors, carrying bags/burdens, etc., not because women aren't actually capable of doing these things. Rather, it is important for society that we, as men, train ourselves to put our comparatively greater physical gifts at the service of women, as a symbolic statement of recognition that this power should never be used AGAINST them, and as spiritual conditioning to prevent us from ever slipping into such abuse. Likewise, modesty is a discipline by which women make a symbolic statement to society that they recognize their OWN, comparatively greater powers vis a vis men. In this case, it is the power of influence. Women, simply by the natural dynamics of human sexuality, possess much greater powers of influence over men than vice versa. Like chivalry, modesty is a spiritual discipline for women by which they recognize this power discrepancy and engage in exercises to help condition themselves not to abuse it (e.g. by using this power of influence to manipulate or degrade men, rather than using it in their service, to motivate them toward right action, toward the appreciation of beauty, and to apply gentle corrective pressure when needed). Ultimately, I think it is healthier to prompt our daughters toward modesty as an engagement in the same type of exercises of self restraint that men are called to engage in through chivalry. After all, it is precisely this understanding that the modern culture seeks to attack, by encouraging women to abandon any restraint in the use of their bodies as a mere tool to exercise power over men, rather than a holy component of their very persons, to be given in love toward the creation of new life. The culture attacks men in a very similar way, but that's a topic for another time, I guess.

[jasonsanders]

Modesty is a very under rated virtue. It includes not boasting about yourself, which is prideful. Showing off your body, flaunting your "parts" is also boastfulness.

[TheProdigalMeowMeowMeowReturns]

I worked for a major grocery store that I won’t name. We had dress codes and rules, but we also had several 16 year old female employees who would ignore the rules by (constantly) wearing “camel toe” “booty shorts.” They would stand on top of the freezer ledges to work product, at which time old men would glare.

They would also approach me as I was sitting on the floor to work a bottom shelf. I appreciate their trust (which I never violated), but it made me extremely uncomfortable.

That. Isn’t. Appropriate. But the managers were TERRIFIED of enforcing the rules, which is clearly indicative of cultural problems.

[momdad]

I am a woman and this bothers me too. I don't think young women realize how much their lack of clothing entices the wrong kind of attention.

[kvk]

As a woman I am often embarrassed and scandalized by the lack of modesty of some women.

[nariko]

No disrespect to women who conquer the "well dont look" go-to answer...
But as women (I happen to be one) we have to be educated, conscientious, and and MINDFUL of the world we live in. We have a BIG responsiblity - not only for ourselves, but in larger society to dress in a way that shows not only who you are, but also how you would LIKE to be treated.
Yes. I know. We know. We ALL know. That a mini skirt where your buttcheeks are hanging out should never be an invitation for anyone to catcall or lay their hands you - but again ... be educated, be self - aware, and take accountability (Yes. Accountability) on your choices, Whether its behavior or the way your dress. We women (as well as men) have a big responsibility when it comes to this. Respect yourself, otherwise you increase the chances of being disrespected.

[swiggitysk]

I have realized over the past year the hypocrisy of this idea of "empowerment" by wearing less and therefore showing your "sexual liberation" while calling anyone who disagrees with that and saying they're anti-woman or something for disagreeing. Thank you for putting this idea into words.

[holeymcsockpuppet]

Modesty in clothing is a visual representation of one's ability to set boundaries.

[thehussarsjacobitess]

It makes me so sick when men try to promote immodest dress as if they were being altruistic. It's wonderful that you're taking a stand!

[conradsmith]

YES! We need more of this! As a 24 year old man, this is a very hard world to live in. As a young man that believes in Christ I feel very at odds with myself. My natural man wants to look, but I know that looking will take me to paths I would like to avoid to protect my spirit. I know that my sisters were all taught to be modest at church, BUT recently I've noticed my thirteen year old sister posting pictures of herself in a bikini on social media. I stay away from social media and I have even put limitations and software on my devices to protect me from pornography. Nonetheless, this is quite painful for me because it is extremely hard to see my sister that I love so much putting herself out there this way. I know where the male mind goes and I would not wish this upon my sister, but now she is inviting it. By the way, I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (many call us Mormons, but we are trying to change that). I love listening to other Christians (like you wonderful Catholics) too though because so many of you have this stuff right and it makes me so happy to see that there is still good in the world.

[monicab.]

Even in Catholic circles, people get the whole modesty issue wrong by effectively saying it’s a matter of upholding your own personal dignity and remembering you are a temple of the Holy Spirit. This is not wrong, but as a culture, we have totally forgotten about dressing modestly as an actual DUTY we have toward others. Not just dressing modestly, but appropriately and put-together.

[letriciabrowder]

Regardless of the clothing, women still get unwanted attention/harassment

[jbkenaston]

I appreciate your pushback on what have become some of the toxic norms of our culture.

[kitecorbin]

Dressing modestly is not necessarily "unattractive". I get more compliments when I wear a full dress than when I wear a crop top with shorts. You can have so much feminine energy without showing cleavage!

[mishaalkisan]

I'm a young Muslim Man and this video intrigued me because modesty is a huge thing taught in Islam. From dressing to appropriately cover what's called the "awrah" (which is slightly different for men and women - ie. men have to wear pants that at least covers their knees and shirts covering the majority of their torso) to the Quran telling both men and women to lower their gazes from each other. Naturally, I strictly follow these teachings, dressing quite conservatively and even averting my gaze when browsing the internet (frankly I find it more of an annoyance to having to avoid specific media, most I didn't ask for).
Similarly to what Brian said - to show your body should be reserved for intimacy with someone. Despite teaching modesty, Islam also says to dress nicely/attractively towards your spouse. .

I'm super confident in its teachings, though one thing I've always wondered was how would I explain the importance of modesty to someone who isn't God-fearing and doesn't believe in the spiritual consequences?

I'm glad and pleasantly surprised by Brian's points here as he falls back to the commonly used point of "Freedom" and also points out and emphasizes on the hypocrisy of the mentality - something I've only seen few people succeed in getting across.
I certainly appreciate this video.
May God bless and have mercy upon you.

[brendaokuda]

As a 60 yr old grandma I would just like to add that it's not just young attractive women who dress this way. Young attractive men do the same all, they absolutely MUST show off those rock-hard abs & tattoos that they spent so much money on. Please remember, I grew up in the 60's & 70's where "free love", "sex, drugs, & rock-n-roll", reigned supreme. I, too, as a young person dressed a certain way in the hopes of attracting a husband. I learned the hard way that, although I got a lot of attention, it was the wrong kind & I didn't get married till I was 35. I truly wish I had grown up in a world where the morals were strickter. My poor Christian mother & grandparents! How they prayed for me. I'm just thankful Jesus honored their prayers & brought me back into the fold.