Dealing with an aging parent with memory loss or dementia

[mightbegenius]

We keep slipping into mother/son role where I am 12 years old again and she thinks she's 40 and she talks down to me like a little kid and tries to control me and keeps criticizing everything I do and I can feel the anger building up when I spend time with her until I yell at her "I'm a 40 year old grown man goddamit. Stop treating me like im 12" which results in a big fight where she constantly insults me, hitting below the belt and so I give it back to her until I'm practically throwing her out of my car at her house at the end of the visit. I don't know what to do she is so belligerent

[francesbernard]

An aging parent could mean one who is only age 47 - age 65 or so while he or she is in a middle age crisis too? Like perhaps years after being convinced by only a family doctor that he needs to be put on synthetic Testosterone while staring to lose muscle mass or whatever when working in a boring routine while working for an intelligence agency.. I can recall during the year 1991 hearing from a fellow student who was only age 21 or so while she was complaining about that sort of thing concerning her aging parent who was maybe doing just that too including his lack of understanding about our changing world while he was maybe starting to experience hearing loss while living in an urban area too.

[frlouiegoad]

They are being prepared to give all things of this world up'.
We all will go the way of giving all things up, for they have no value in Heaven.
I am only 56 but I have noticed many memory problems. You do not need to be over eighty for this to  start.

[janetfishwick]

My 94 year old mother has stage 5 Alzheimers and has lived on her own for the last 32 years since dad died. Mother is confused, deluded, stubborn and deaf. She refuses to wear hearing aids, use a walking stick or go into a Care Home. Mother is at the stage where her obsessions are getting out of control. She rings my sister constantly asking for a ca parked outside to be removed. It is not mother’s car and she has not driven for years. Mother cannot use her gas fire because she does not know how to turn it on, likewise her oven, hob and microwave. She is obsessed with the lights on her boiler and rings constantly asking for them to be turned off. She takes batteries out of clocks, cannot remember how to turn her lounge lights off and has set her clocks to 7. 10 so she has no idea of the correct time. Her finances are taken care of by my brother who is her POA. Mother has carers twice a day, 6 days a week. Conversation with her is very limited because of her condition and she can no longer participate in family chat due to her deafness and ability to keep up with the conversation. Talking civilly and respectfully to her is difficult for me due to her whole attitude and abusive rejection when told she needs more help and rehoming.