The Reason You Can Never Progress

▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00 - Introduction
05:08 - “It’s not enough”
08:12 - “Why bother starting if I can’t finish”
11:42 - “If I do it later it will be more efficient”
13:17 - “Progress makes me feel guilty”
15:34 - Devaluing our own progress
19:01 - Comparison is the thief of progress
21:55 - So what’s the solution?
25:26 - “How can I deviate this?”
25:47 - “How can I reframe this?”
26:53 - “What pride can I take?”

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[HealthyGamerGG]

What are some beliefs that keep you from making real progress? How can you start intentionally reframing them? Let us know ⬇

[xanderxxvblaze]

"The cost of procrastination is the life you could've lived."

[OmegaIsBack]

I'm 1000% sure that the next video title will be my address.

[stuzza]

There’s no point in starting this comment unless I actually fini

[Jarrodotus]

25:05 is a perfect way of applying what Carl Jung once said: "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate."

[MrMusic]

The subconscious thought patterns to become aware of and catch in the act

1. It isn’t enough
2. I don’t wanna get started until I know I can finish
3. If I do it tomorrow it will be easier
4. Let’s focus on efficiency, if I focus on it today it will be inefficient
5. Progress makes me feel guilty, I should’ve started a long time ago
6. I did this? Well anyone could do this! This is not an achievement. My work is a source of me feeling pathetic instead of something to be celebrated
7. Comparing to others “this person did better than me…”

[oh_sparkling]

Some more productive things I like to remind myself of when I catch these defeatist thoughts:
❌ It's not enough.
✅ Any amount of progress moves me closer to my goal.

❌ Why bother starting if I can't finish?
✅ The only way I'm guaranteed not to succeed is if I never start. So let's at least start. There might be valuable lessons along the way.

❌ If I do it later, it will be more efficient.
✅ If I do it now, I will be relieved and will save myself a lot of future anxiety & trouble.

❌ I should have done this ages ago.
✅ I'm glad that I was finally able to do this.

❌ It's not that big of a deal.
✅ I am proud I managed to overcome/do something that was once proving to be a difficulty for me.

❌ But other people are doing so much better.
✅ Is every single person I can think of doing better in every single aspect of life, or are there some aspects where they appear to be doing better and others where I might be doing just as well, if not better?
If they are truly closer to living what I would consider a more fulfilled life in certain aspects, what can I learn from them that would help me move closer to where they are? What are some practical steps I could take towards that?

[lowleveldog]

Tip: don't just reinforce the small wins, but also try to celebrate each time you or your mind notices some of these calculations or thought patterns on the act, which is something that's also done in meditation when you realize you got distracted. The unconscious will learn to pay attention to the inside more frequently.

[ionutpostu]

I waited years for the perfect day to come, I waited years fo the day I would not be tired, I would not be sad, I would not be afraid... I waited years for the perfect day, but it never came, until I just decided to not criticise myself anymore and just do it, tired, sad, with lack of motivation or lack of will, just do it as I am in that moment. ANd then I found that the perfect day would always come when I would just to some things as good as I could and celebrate myself for it. Thank you, Doctor K, you saved my life, more than once. I wish you and your family all the best in the world!

[antonydrossos]

The worst part is KNOWING that I need to start making progress, but I don’t know how or where to start

[CassadyAndOnly]

I've been discussing this lately with family, friends and my therapist; about why it physically hurts in my chest, it's painful, when people congratulate me for stuff, especially small things, like washing my face because I'm struggling to build routine. It feels condescending. I also am hounding myself for not doing more, 'why didn't you do this sooner', etc. I never connected the two before. When a person says congrats and it hurts, it isn't them trying to harm me, it is those negative thought processes in my mind.

I sincerely appreciate your channel, you've helped fill in a lot of gaps for me from everything I've learned about me over the years solo and with professional help. Thank you <3

[leonardoneves]

When I stopped associating progress with anxiety, I finally started to progress. Thank you Dr. K, for making me realise what is happening in my mind

[Surreal]

24:18 I feel Dr. K struck a vein of gold here and maybe didn't realize it and moved on. Why do we go through these mental gymnastics to get out of bed, go to the gym, clean our room, read a book, etc, but we don't to pick up our phone, to play video games, or watch TV? It's easy to say "those are easy for the brain and gives an instant reward", but it's worth reevaluating why we consider it a reward to begin with. Or consider it easy. It takes a lot of mental energy to scroll for an hour in a way.

[derpchickens]

Some Solutions:
- Stop B&W Thinking
- "Catch it in the act" (ie. Notice when it happens)
- "So What?" (Detatchment)
- Find whatever +vity you can
- Start Today

[emy]

''People will make 1 or 2 of these miscalculations consistently, not everyone makes all of these'' Dr K, I'm 6 for 6 consistently😭
I always get the first 5 whenever I try to progress academically, and the last one whenever I try to workout, be healthy, improve social life etc.
My mind must be a talented gymnast.

[jazzblue]

Hah, halfway through I had a thought akin to "damn, I have been carrying a lot of weight all alone for so long" and a few minutes later its about the realisation of how much people beat themselves up... this is spot on.

[convixion]

For me, the internal narrative goes something like this: when I make progress, I still don’t get what I want, so what’s the point of progressing? Because when I reached my goal, after all the effort it took, and I believed I had finally arrived at the point where I would feel satisfied and have what I wanted, that wasn’t the case. So, even though I don’t put things off and I can achieve my goals, the problem must lie in a fundamental belief. Something like: no matter what you do, it’s never enough. Faced with this, I think it’s about understanding that my goal and expectations won’t give me what I’m seeking. I need to change something else. I don’t know what it is, but I have the feeling that I need to stop wanting to change myself in order to be loved. I need to change my belief that the way I am is not enough hence I’m not worthy of love. So, how do I transform this belief?

[Lady_marron]

Feeling pathetic is my point. Never thought about it though. I can’t even write a to-do list, cause my daily goals look stupid on paper. I have been stuck for 7 years. Thank you for opening my eyes:)

[mctwistx]

1. am i doing one of thing six things? (some of them affects to taking action)
miscalculations:
7:20 1.if I have to go from 0 to 100 and I go forward 10 points, my mind tells me this is not enough, what does it do to my motivation?
if yes, scratch it
8:12 2. there's no point in starting unless I can go the whole distance (to the end), do you ever know that you are going to go the
whole distance before you get started? is imposible, it allows you to not do that hard thing.
11:42 3. if I do it now it'll be inefficient, If I do it later it will be more efficient?, it allows you to not act today, this doesnt works
13:18 4. when they actually progress they don't experience a positive, they feel guilty, I should have done it earlier I feel so stupid for finally doing it, guilt prevents us from engaging in the behavior again.
15:30 5. we devalue our progress, is pathetic, instead say yourself good job.
19:01 6. comparison is not good, you are making progress in life and then you are punishing yourself because some other human being who is not living your life can do it better than you, instead of be happy for making progress, reinforce the positive

22:45 just notice the activity, automatic conclusions, strugle the progress, catch it in the act, where is this coming from?
24:10 the moment that it stops being autopilot and you have awareness of it it doesn't calculate in the same way,
the brain is designed to drive autopilot



2. is there some way that I can deviate this? what makes it hard for me to feel positively when I make progress ?
25:50 3. intentionally try to reframe a little bit, the negative thought maybe is true, take the atutide of so what
do you want to continue to do this progression?
at the end of today are you glad that the thing is done or are you glad that the thing is not done ?
4. what pride can i take?, get whatever celebration you can of making progress


willpower correlates with your awareness of the internal environment, that these kinds of techniques
strengthen your frontal lobes, incorporating small positives and a more balanced perspective on our life leads to good outcomes

it happens slowly because neuroplasticity and rewiring your neurons takes a lot of effort over time

[sage]

Describes my situations to a tee — it’s always moving the goalpost - once you reach a point, that becomes not good enough - I hate this cycle