7 Reasons You’ll Never Get Closure From a Narcissist

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The rules are different when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist. You may walk on eggshells, question yourself, or feel like you can never do anything right in their eyes. And if they break up with you? It only leaves you with more confusion.

So what’s the right move in this situation? Should we stand up to them? Try to convince them with facts?

In today’s new video, I give you 7 reasons why you can never expect to get true closure from a narcissist . . . and what you can do to give closure to yourself.

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▼ Chapters ▼

0:00 – 1:34 – Dealing With a Narcissist
1:34 – 3:25 – #1 They Will Never Take Accountability
3:25 – 5:56 – #2 They Will Never Truly Empathize
5:56 – 8:25 – #3 Standing Up to Them Can Backfire
8:25 – 10:10 – #4 You Will Never Teach Them a Lesson
10:10 – 11:27 – #5 They’re Giving Someone Else What You Never Got
11:27 – 14:04 – #6 You Will Never Win
14:04 – 16:52 – #7 They Will Never Make Sense to You
16:52 – 17:53 – Continuing This Conversation

[GloriaHass]

I have had closure from narcissistic relationships because I walked away and healed. I realized that I didn't need their accountability because I knew the truth. That's all that I needed.

[TallGrass]

Best means of closure: walking away. No contact. Healing. Thriving.

[GoddessV]

"They will never give you closure because they will never give you empathy." I felt that! He was emotionally unavailable, and I know I deserve better.

[nicolestewart]

Every single night I have nightmares. I got depression anxiety and ptsd. You can’t change them, you can only change yourself. Hugs to all who have suffered 🤗

[Lotusawj]

“Peace is closure”. Let them free, to free yourself.

[dotcheung]

Last night I ended & walked away from dating a narcissistic man for almost 13 years. Today, this video popped up in my feed. Every word that Matt said describes almost EXACTLY what I experienced. This content gives me so much peace knowing that it’s not me!!

[jrwheeler]

I was married to a narcissist for many years. NEVER AGAIN. Being with a narcissist is the most toxic and mentally exhausting relationship you can ever have. We were together for a total of 22 years. He would NEVER accept responsibility when he was in the wrong or had made a mistake. He NEVER would apologize for treating me like absolute garbage and deeply hurting me. If an apology was ever about to escape his lips, it would be, "I'm sorry, but you...." and then he would proceed to blame his actions on me. Narcissists are professional manipulators and blame shifters. They will gaslight you to death. They will place the blame anywhere but where it belongs, which is on them. In their eyes, they can do no wrong. It's a level of grandiosity like none other. It truly was the loneliest 22 years of my life. I had fallen into such a deep state of depression and had given up all hope of ever finding happiness and peace. I was too stubborn to leave because I had been with him since I was only 18 and I felt stuck, which in retrospect was so stupid. The only reason I am no longer with him is because he passed away 2-1/2 years ago. For the past almost 2 years, I've been dating a guy who is the polar opposite of my late husband and it has been such a breath of fresh air. We are best friends and I am finally able to live again.

[garyharris]

From my experience, narcissistic people don't provide closure. Closure requires the ability to self reflect, which is something they don't like to do. They prefer to portray themselves as their favorite character, which is the victim. They don't communicate, and they will never change.

[wendywilliams]

Thank you.
This is absolutely phenomenal content. I was married to one for 23 years. An amazing master manipulator. I always knew something was off. Starving them of energy is the only way and the most empowering thing you can do. Grateful for your brilliance. Sending love and strength to anybody going through this.

[lilith]

"Peace is closure" this is so true!

[lynnanderson]

You've hit the nail on the head there. Dealing with a narcissist is so unrewarding.

[LilianaKourieh]

Matthew this was my life for 34 years, when I stood up to him he escalated his manipulation and abuse . He turned our life upside down wouldn’t take accountability for anything, everything you have said is spot on. It’s taken years of therapy to heal and regulate my emotions reclaim back my life.

[Huhhuhwhuhuhh]

One of the most revolutionary things my therapist told me was “your upset may not be the best form of attention for this person, but it’s still attention and if that’s all they can get, they’ll keep poking at you.” Never looked back. I felt horribly misunderstood and wronged, but I was finally at peace by giving them nothing.

[peterhansen]

I got closure by getting revenge, revealing them to others, and making sure they can never contact me again.

[kelsiebach]

The strength and determination to live a peaceful life and walk away from narcissists and/or narcissistic abuse is so overwhelming - you have to fight every empathetic thought, feeling, and action that is inherent. It can feel like there is no closure. But having recently gone through it myself, I can say that once you get enough distance physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually (if there were karmic ties), then, when it is safe and you know you won't engage if they reach out, then you can start releasing all of those deep wounds/feelings and process to let go. Narcissistic abuse hurts to your core, so to heal, you have to reconnect with that deep emotional well-being and peace that is our core. And that feels better than closure❤.
My sincere apologies for anyone reading this who is stuck dealing with the narcissist because of shared custody, etc. This probably sounds really watered down. I am so sorry. Hang in there. Praying for you❤

[marykarle]

Because they are toddlers in adult skin suits! They think they are omnipotent!

[Exotixa]

Peace is closure is something everyone should note. you always want to say more or do more but if you feel peace by not having that person around, then that is enough to move on.

[marioncollins]

Amazing and so accurate
8 weeks out of 10 yrs
Emotional rollercoaster
I’m praying for strength to recover

[loveyourbodycoach]

Thank you, Matthew, for clearing simplifying what we' re dealing with with narcissistic...fuckers. It really helps. It is so perfectly accurate and accessible and help you let go.Thank you again

[tedamjoke]

Matthew that was your best video for me. I won’t spend too much time on my situation but I was married to an absolute narcissist and didn’t know about narcissists or gaslighting. We were married for 27 years 😮 Every single reason you described happened to me. Right down to him becoming the victim! He has a new relationship he started while in the marriage and it’s been going on for 3 years. So I struggle with him finding a new partner and blaming me & speaking ill about me to everyone I used to know. I feel the injustice of having to be the bigger person. However, I won’t give him any supply. Only upbeat responses. He doesn’t care about those because he doesn’t care about me. He doesn’t care about his son. He hasn’t spoken with his son in over 2 years! Yet he lives with a new woman and her son and dog. We were totally replaced. Seemingly easily too. Your last statement hit home with me..PEACE is closure. I could never go back because I have grown and I am not the same person. I am still healing and trying to gain back confidence and trust in myself. My partner is coming. I deserve it too! Ty so much for exactly the video I needed today. 😊