5 Simple Ways to Teach People How to Treat You | Create Better Relationships

Today, we are talking about five ways that you can teach people how to treat you better. I'm very excited to be talking about this.

I'm Jessica Amos, a mindfulness meditation teacher, the founder of Stay With Yourself, which is the practice of being who you are, where you are.

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The first thing, and this is before we even get into the five, is it's very important that you understand first how you would like to be treated, just like we learn when we were little kids. And this is what I tell my kids. If we're about to put a movie on or something and my son goes, I don't want to watch that movie.

Well, what movie do you want to watch? I don't know. You don't have a right to say that you don't like and don't want to do this unless you have a different suggestion. So start by knowing how you do want to be treated. And if you're not sure, start thinking about it.

And you can even look to examples in movies or in other people. Maybe you do have some people in your life you love how they treat you use them as an example for how you would like to be treated.

And these five ways to teach people how to treat you properly comes down to you practicing boundaries and you being on your own side.

The first way to let people know how you want to be treated is use your words.

Use your words to tell people... Say, hey, you know, I don't really appreciate it when you talk to me like this or when you say that you're going to show up and you don't or whatever the thing is, be specific and say I would prefer this instead. I love it. If you would give me a heads up, if you would give me more notice, if you would speak to me in a more respectful tone, so on and so forth, use your words to tell them how you would like to be treated.

Second way, use actions, show them how you would like to be treated. It's the whole concept of treating others how you would like to be treated, model the behavior that you would like. And this one seems really easy, but it can be really hard, especially if you are in a relationship dynamic where it's kind of dependent on some sort of mistreatment of each other.

So if you actually change your behavior in that relationship and your actions in the way that you are showing up, the relationship has to change, right? Because you are changing how you show up. And that right there is telling the other person how you would like to be treated. They might not like it. They might try to hook you back into the behavior you were in before because that's what they're used to and that's what you're used to. But that's a really, really big one.

The third way is to be consistent. And this is what boundaries are all about. Boundaries are all about consistency. You can't say, hey, I want this thing, alright, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then say it one time and think that that means change.

You can't just change your behavior one time and think that that's going to fix it all. You have to be consistent because honestly if you are the one changing the relationship and asking for the relationship to change, you have now officially taken the lead in that relationship.

Another thing in terms of consistency, and this is the fourth way, is to repeat yourself, be repetitive with your statements, with your behaviors. There's no reason to explain yourself, to make excuses, to apologize.

This is where you need to keep it simple. Keep it really, really simple. Don't make it more complicated. Say the thing. Let the thing be the thing. Again, no apologies, no excuses.

There's no reason why you should be apologizing for asking someone to treat you better. That is absolutely OK. Also, you don't have to pretend to be grateful when they make a little change but it's not quite there. Don't pretend to be grateful. If you're not really grateful, expect the full change in behavior.

And number five, this is a big one. Be willing to walk away from the relationship, be willing to not be in that relationship anymore if the other person doesn't show signs of willingness and understanding to show up differently for you and your life.

Granted, you are showing up asking to have a different sort of relationship, the relationship ending as you know it, so that you can have a healthier relationship.

So you do have to have a little bit of time and patience to see if that person is willing. But a lot of that depends, again, on your consistency, on you showing up, using your words, modeling with your actions, being consistent, and not apologizing.

#teachpeoplehowtotreatyou #howtosetboundaries #respectinarelationship

[Staywithyourself]

What are your biggest takeaways? Comment below! P.S. Don't forget to subscribe for weekly life coaching and mindfulness videos :)

[susanh.]

I'm saving this video to watch every time I need a refresher.

[redpillqueen]

I want my friends to check in and make sure I’m OK (cancer, autistic child) If I do most the calling then I pull back only to find out I’m watering dead plants. I have NO room in my life for people who ghost for 9 weeks, then check in out of curiosity. My real friends call everyday, every other day or atleast once a week.

[angelakh]

I really liked this. Clear, concise, simple. Thanks for the support!

[sarahmitchell]

Thank you for making this video. It's exactly what I needed to hear on an anxious night alone. What you said from about 6:30 onward about finding out if there is scope for change in the relationship or if the person truly is an A hole, without fearing their reaction resonated sooo deeply.

[Sapphireblue]

Really lovely short video. Very simple instructions. She's a model for how to make a short informative video that's charming and easy to follow. Thank you.

[erinpalagye]

this is really important, really powerful. I think the best take away is not apologizing, not explaining, and not being grateful for being treated better.

[chx]

You are like the elder sister I wish I had 💖

[sochimaatikpoh]

Thank you so much, ma’am. The points are what I am practicing now more especially the last biggest point of walking away from long term abusive relationships and I feel so much better and happy doing things my way!!!!
Thanks 🙏 again, ma’am.

[elhadjdiallo]

I'm going through a lot right right I have been experiencing cptsd, dread, anxiety stress and depression lately ....I ended up in the shelter which is inaccurate and awful . ....I deserve better than that because I know my worth and value I am indeed

[twigityful]

Clicked like just for the title!! Thank you🎉❤
I also have a Qs, when the disrespectful action/ incident happens when do i use my words ? wait till later? Or as it is happening? Specially if there are elderly parents or children
😊

[juliechurch]

Like your vid . So positive and simple to practice .your worth it

[roxannesnyder-xeeh]

Absolutly correct and it's working for me, *!😊Thank you luv😊

[rezanlevandovych]

Great video, it all starts with getting clear on how you want to be treated! 👏🙌

[cathyjennings]

Important. Importance. ❤❤❤❤❤❤ Practice behaviors. I would prefer good behaviors from my friends. Takes SKILLS. LEARN NEW SKILLS. & STEADINESS & PERSISTENT TO INFLUENCE the male pursuing her affections. Be firm. Be willing to WALK AWAY FROM the companionship buddy. Memo. Entitled to be RESPECTED. 😅😊😅😊

[HelloHi-uogt]

Plz make more such videos on getting treated well bcz we as women think it is our responsibility to be nice even if the other person mistreats us❤

[donnajavner]

Those thoughts DO NOT work with NARCISSISTIC relationships

[CK-jkmx]

I'm afraid, I don't agree with "You don't have a right to say I don't like/ I don't want to do this if you don't have a different suggestion". Sometimes, people might need some time to think of or offer an alternative. Just because they haven't been able to offer an alternative just THAT minutes, does not mean that they don't have a right to say no. This start just put me off wanting to watch the rest of this video. All the best.

[BellaJoyeuse]

Although the advice itself isn't necessarily bad the concept is. The idea that you need to teach people how to treat you is very narcissistic, and is a common form of gaslighting when you're being treated poorly by someone. If you need to teach someone how to treat you.... run from them and don't look back. Good people don't need to be taught how to treat another person with decency, respect, etc. If you believe that you get to teach people how to treat you (as if this is normal)- then maybe you lack basic respect for other people or are generally selfish or believe the world revolves around you.

[hugmc]

It’s not my job to teach people too treat me better it’s my job to delete them