Stop using these 6 coping skills... they're hurting you.

Let's be honest, we all have unhealthy coping patterns or coping skills that may not suit us. And arguably some coping mechanisms may be worse than others. And some we just get so used to that we continue doing. We need to look at healthy vs unhealthy coping skills or mechanisms to ensure that we're not worsening our anxiety or stress or whatever you use coping strategies or techniques for. In this video I'll talk you through the 5 coping skills or mechanisms you need to rid. What coping skills or patterns or behaviors have you used to help manage stress, anxiety, PTSD response or any other mental health issue that you may struggle with? What coping skills have worked? And which ones haven't? Or what coping behaviors are you holding onto? I would love to hear from you in the comments!

0:23: 🔑 Coping skills are important for managing negative emotions, but they can change over time and may not always be effective.
3:33: 💡 The video discusses unhealthy coping mechanisms and provides tips for healthier alternatives.
7:04: 💡 Overspending, retail therapy, and having too many coping skills can backfire and make us feel worse.

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[sfana]

1. Constact distraction
2. Isolation
3. Completely relying on others
4. Rumination
5. Over spending while shopping
6. Having too many coping skills

[koucha_scara]

Have been isolating myself for too long. I have no idea how to maintain a stable relationship with anyone. It's hard to really be vulnerable, but maybe I can do this. Thank you for the video ♡

[DreamsofJeannie]

😅 I want an A in therapy, totally get that. Most days I try to learn more and more about toxic families. It's like I want to know why. Trying to help myself to rationalize abuse backfires and I end up triggering myself instead. This video helps.

[Moontherion]

Isolation is a big one for me. I grew up in a very dysfunctional and violent family. The society around me is one of the safest on the planet. I have lived a very different life to most people around me, not to mention I feel in many ways like an old soul and a lot of times I feel like 2023 is just a distant past. That I'm stuck in this time and place where I don't belong. Thankfully I found a friend 10 years ago that we talk on the phone weekly and meet sometimes live. I wish I could find my people but I don't want people to go through what I had to growing up. I wish I could someday feel somehow less alien in this world.

[cmkrcs]

The bit about shopping as coping was just 🤯 I online shop a lot when I'm feeling down and then usually stop myself from going through and buying things. I hadn't realized that that buying new products does help you feel in control of your situation, but for me going through the steps of thinking about some new items, picturing them in my life, and then making the decision that I don't actually need them really affirms that I have agency. Maybe that isn't as unhealthy as I thought? Thanks for this video!

[CelticSongbird]

When I was in a mental health program, I used to get triggered by EVERYTHING! My case manager gave me a step by step instruction sheet. Basically, it was color two coloring pages or draw a new one. If I have to leave the group room, draw or color again and have a dance break if that doesn't work. I don't need to color as much as I used to, but the dancing still works when I'm upset. Dad told me that exercise is therapy for the body.

[ShaneBlackheart]

Honestly, distracting is how I've learned to cope since I was a child, and it actually benefits me. I've turned to my work as a writer to distract, I play video games for days. And if I hadn't, I would've gotten self-destructive and seriously spiraled because of my habit of rumination. Distracting a lot has actually saved me from hurting myself or taking my life, especially when I'm overloaded as an autistic person and being around someone else would cause me to have a meltdown (so I think some of this advice may not apply for autistics, especially isolating when overloaded, which is something I have to do or I'll lash out and it'll get worse). I'll stop distracting when I start to feel better because I won't need to. I've definitely distracted so I don't have to face certain situations or emotions, but my mental health diagnoses are so severe that it's better if I DO distract instead of imploding. My counselor actually has encouraged me to play more video games, because it has saved me from myself and it lifts my mood. I still address things in therapy later, but I think for some people, as long as they're aware of what they're doing, and why they're distracting to cope, that self-awareness can make it okay to do it :)

[restlessmosaic]

Really heartened you mentioned the A-in-therapy concept. I've sent a song to mastering for my next album that imagines me at a visit to a YouTube therapist (loose composite of you, Heidi Priebe, and a few others). In it, I have difficulty, among other things, doing assignments because the therapist pool is first winnowed by who likes/tolerates academia, and pressure to perform academically was one of the big things for me growing up (I'm a government lawyer by day). So therapy's packaging of help triggers me.

"I'm neuroplastic, so you say,
As I walk on my anxiety Champs Elysees
To preserve myself, I must decline your homework day
For flashbacks of when I would get less than an A"

[bobblebardsley]

I really needed this right now. Just going through a disagreement with a couple of friends where honestly I think every person's part in it has become way out of proportion and we're now not even hurt by the original dispute anymore, but by the various ways we've failed to resolve that incident. Trying to cope with the emotional impact of that, while also dealing with the rational side of resolving it, and find the balance between reaching out to apologise/discuss vs. giving people space, is the least happy I've been in a while.

[BkLyNGrL]

Thank you so much for this! As a previous shopaholic I truly needed to hear this at this time as I’m an anxious/ avoidant trying to get over the past hurt with a partner during separation & it’s so hard! I’m afraid that if I don’t get over this past hurt then I won’t be able to move forward with my person. I have problems with each category on this subject & starting therapy soon to get help so that I can get thru this dark cloud and see the light @ the end of the tunnel 🙏🏽🥴

[Yamib-nyb]

Uf! Guilty of all of them!! (GAD, depression, ED) I'm starting a new therapy soon, hope that helps! 🙏 thank you kati for all your work!❤

[bumblebee_ms]

I find I isolate more when I feel everyone around me is a huge user, no matter how much I reach out to different people.

[terrahillman]

I Iove watching you grow as a Therapist! You are much more authentic and grounded it seems nowadays. I’m sorry you went through your ‘season of growth’ but glad to see you honored it and went inward. It shows ❤❤

[swordsnorchids]

It's too easy to get stuck especially when you're down and tired.. But we gotta keep trying to get unstuck and into a better state of being.

[jackilynpyzocha]

I sometimes isolate to protect myself: that is helpful.

[mariakamal]

A very important one that I almost never hear is laughing on your own problems. I do this alll the time when I'm telling someone how I feel even my therapist and psychiatrist which makes my feelings and anxiety seem lighter because I hate to feel uncomfortable or make the other person feel uncomfortable so I joke about it to the point that I almost feel that no one takes me seriously. I know its my problem but if I don't joke about, I will never say it

[spinach]

Distraction and isolation are my go to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Sometimes i find myself using these not when ive been triggered by a situation but i predict a lack of safety everywhere. Which of course isn't great. Ive been moving through it pretty well with journaling, dancing, feeling my body etc

[Yeaherkash]

Feel like I thrive better in isolation and being in a relationship hasn’t helped me in the past

[GK-qcry]

Good advice. I'm finding as life changes and improves to before, my behaviours have to change.

[NeqMed]

Love your content, to the point and clear.