How to Respond When Your Kids Say, “I Hate You” | Dr. Becky Kennedy & Dr. Andrew Huberman

Dr. Becky Kennedy and Dr. Andrew Huberman discuss strategies for parents to manage children's retorts and rudeness by interpreting their emotional underpinnings and modeling appropriate emotional regulation skills.

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and founder of Good Inside, an education platform for parents and parents-to-be. Dr. Andrew Huberman is a tenured professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford University School of Medicine and host of the Huberman Lab podcast.

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The Huberman Lab podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing or other professional health care services, including the giving of medical advice, and no doctor/patient relationship is formed. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast is at the user’s own risk. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their health care professionals for any such conditions.

[dianechilds]

I told my daughter her feelings were OK and that I would always love her. Left it at that. Years later she recalled that incident and that it developed into more trust for me as a parent.

[mariadelcarmencervantez]

It is normal for children to be frustrated when they are learning and occasionally they may vent frustration (anger) over difficulties they experience. Vocalizing hate may be a response to having a highly regulated environment in which the may feel they are being aligned with ideologies, customs, beliefs that they do not fully understand. My children (4) never vocalized feelings like that. I chose to encourage individuality, to encourage nurture their curiosities and align them to focus on further developing those interests. They are pursuing advanced studies at the Collegiate level and some have recently completed their Masters and Bachelors degrees. I must have done something right. My only concern is that they are not as eager as I was to venture out into the world. They stand by me as we carry out with the later stages of care for their declining grandma (my mother). I have come to realize that the responsibility should now be delegated to her other three children because my children have wings and are ready to take flight. There are new chapters in their lives just waiting to be written. Support is all anyone could ask for when it comes to pursuing your dreams.

[normavoyton]

3:43 great advice for people to understand kids have emotions too

[suzettevreeland]

Great episode. I’m curious… I would ask my child to repeat what they said… making them own it, or providing an opportunity for thought. And then acknowledge it and the severity of it… and show the patience for thought in it before response. I feel this teaches them the impact of words and thinking before speaking. These things need to start quite early, however.

[Kazuma-des]

So my dad was right all along😅 You say it best when u say nothing at all

[normavoyton]

Before i even finished the clip ill say when my child said this to me once because he was grounded at 6 i ignored him. It didnt even affect me and i didnt feel the need to lecture him... Now lets see if i did the right thing haha

Edit:yay i did the right thing.. after I said nothing I just left my son in his room. Later he came to me with a "sorry" card he made with his crayons and paper 😊 so proud of my son (hes 18 now)