When a parent has died : young people share their experiences

Young people we’ve supported talk about some of the difficulties and what helped them after the death of their mum or dad. 

Child Bereavement UK helps families to rebuild their lives when a child grieves or when a child dies. We support children and young people (up to the age of 25) when someone important to them has died or is not expected to live, and parents and the wider family when a baby or child of any age dies or is dying.

Our support team is available to respond to calls, Live Chat or email from 9am - 5pm, Monday to Friday (except bank holidays). Please note, messages can be left via telephone, email or Live Chat and we will respond as soon as possible on our next working day.

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[tsturgill]

I always get so mad when people complain about their parents because u never know how much u love someone till they die

[nickjordan]

Both my mom and dad died when I was 1 :'D
I don't even know how they sound,
Y'all with parents are so lucky, please don't be hard on them, you guys don't understand how lucky you are!

[Zlervo]

My father died 30 years ago when I was only 11. I still remember it as though it was yesterday. It never leaves you.

[bays.divine]

It's hard when you lose a parent so young at age we all see the world a different way once it happens and yeah nothing will be the same but we get through it

[kimrz]

My Dad died when I was 10. My mom when I was 11. I'm 41 now and there is still not a day I don't think about them and mourn their loss. Some days I break. 🥺😞♥️

[AM-dzky]

Don't you just want to give all these kids a HUGE Hug?.

[freyasalinger]

My mum died when I was 10. 18 days after my birthday. I’m now 22 years old and I’m not going to lie and say it gets easier because it doesn’t but you find better ways of coping with it.

[lunashadow]

My mum died when I was just twelve, just watching this after a huge crying spree

[junakataruna]

I lost my father yesterday and hearing all this really helped

[karrbaddleywalter]

I lost my mom three years ago..and just recently this year I lost my maternal grandma....and I can't stop crying almost everynight in my bed. I pray that someday God'll make things better for me.

[dumbdumb]

My dad passed away when i was 8 and now l’m 13 and it’s still really hard...i was the only one in class without a dad it was really hard to loose my best friend..I miss you daddy

[meerasrinivasan]

To all you angels who have lost a parent or parents so young...my hugs dears.

I am in my late 50s, but I lost my beautiful mum when young. She was just 43 when she died.

I understand the loss, the pain and sometimes the sad memories of the absent parent that come on birthdays, special days, graduation, weddings, etc.

My mom used to make lovely desserts, cakes and cookies. I am sure your gone-parent did that too dears. My mom was a terrific cook, and a beautiful artist. She used to sing wonderfully, write poems, design jewelry, draw, paint, stitch, embroider and was warm and kind to my friends.

What do you remember about your gone-parent my angels? Record them, remember them and feel proud of them. Try to learn a few of their recipies, their art work, their writings, etc.

Keep the photos when they were strong, smiling, holding you, hugging you and kissing you.

I had wonderful aunts and uncles to step in and nurture and help when mom died. I hope you young angels have grandpas, grandmas, uncles, aunts, older cousins, and loving neighbors to do that for you.

We motherless or fatherless daughters and sons, whose parent died when we were young, must remember that the gone-parent did not abandon us, neglect us or abuse us...their life left their body and they went to another realm. From there that parent, mother or father or both, is watching over us, protecting us and loving us.

I want you to look at a clear bright night sky and see your favorite planet or star, or even a galaxy, and give it your mom's or pop's name...and then talk to it like you are talking to your gone-mom or dad. And then send your wishes and dreams there, because your mom or dad might be just there watching and listening with utmost love. Blow a kiss and wave.

Remember this angels: you are special, not alone and even an older stranger like me can understand, relate and empathize.

Look how boldly and honestly you all write your feelings my angels. I am so proud of each one of you, though I don't know all of you personally.

It is okay to cry, I still do. It is okay to feel sad when you remember mommy or daddy, and their passing away.

You will get strong. You will find love, friendship and happiness. I could not wish for anything less for you all my angels.

When you meet another like you, a motherless or a fatherless son or daughter whose parent has passed away, you take their hand gently and whisper with a genuine smile or tears, "I understand. I too list a parent. I am here for you. And know we are special. And angels are watching over us!"

You are all so dear! Remember that always!

From Dr. Meera
A motherless daughter like many of you angels.

[afrinzulfiya]

My mom died when I was 14 years old but still I miss her... Sometimes I feel like why I'm living...? I hate when someone ask where is your mom, I really want my mom back I know it's not possible but still I want her

[seizuregirlllll]

My daughters dads died this morning. We are completely devastated! My mind is all over the place. I just want to support my daughter the best I can

[emmanuellukagabasa]

I lost both parents at the age 5 and now am 27 but it still feels like yesterday.... its hurts every day

[LePubPattaya]

My father died when I was 9 years old in 1976. I share so many of the concerns of these young people. The class being told not to mention it, not knowing why he died, being bullied, thinking why me?
I’m 52 years old now. If any of these young people can read this I want to say, you will live wonderful lives. Never forget your lost parent or parents, they are always with you. But you will live the most amazing lives.
I have so much hope for young people.

[jade]

My mom died a month ago. I don't even know what the hell I am going to do right now. She was always the one that kept things running, Just last year was my first time flying, and it was by myself. Now I get confused in really hectic situations, especially when I am tired. So what happened was, my best friend's grandmother bought me a plane ticket to fly me from California to South Carolina with a layover in Texas. I was in Texas, my flight had already left because my flight from California landed late. I started asking around for help, nobody would point me in the right direction. I started breaking down crying. I called my mom. What she did was she called Dallas Airport for me and talked to someone. She told me that she said something along the lines of "My daughter is stranded in the airport. She was supposed to have someone escort her to her next flight." she told me the guy said, "How old is she." My mom responded with "twenty-five" she said he said there was nothing they could do. My mom said that she told the guy that I was a special needs person (Which I am). I couldn't believe that she was able to help me while we were a thousand miles apart.


Moral of the story, she was an amazing person and I feel bad because I just no realized that. I'm crying as I write this too. She's always helped me get out of situations before, but that was when we were never thousands of miles apart.

[clementina]

My mom died when I was 9 it was really hard seeing her decay rapidly because of cancer, my father died when I was 22. Still coping with my unresolved grief with my mother, I'm so happy there's more awareness of mental health and resources today. Thank you for sharing your experiences it made me feel less alone. <3

[eshugirl]

my father died when I was only ten . everything changed my dad used to do everything for me. He is my world. So I am please requesting every one who have there both parents make them happy .because you don't when everything is going to change

[theunknown]

One morning in 1981 at age 9. I woke up to find my father on the bathroom floor. Unconscious. My mom was screaming frantically for me to dial the neighbors phone number to get help. Back in those days 911 did not exist like it does now. The ambulance came and sat outside our house with my dad inside. About 45 minutes later the ambulance headed to the hospital and me and my mother followed. We found out that my dad had passed from a heart attack. Fast forward 2 years later after my mom and I bounced from relative to relative unsettled. My mother dropped me off to school that morning and told me several times she loved me. As I got out the car I did not tell her that I loved her. That afternoon I was surprised by relatives picking me up from school. We drove around all night. Then I was told that my mom had a heart attack and died. That night my cousin's pick me up. And I would spend the remainder of my childhood living with them as guardian. In sixth grade one of my cousins told me that my mom had committed suicide. I would like to say that suicide affects way more than just a person who commits it. And it still, haunts me daily and I'm almost 50. It has negatively impacted me to my core. And i will never recover. Buy you know what. The sun will come up tomorrow. And you have a responsibility to live your life too. You have to cope the best you can. And you need to seek help from others to talk about it. I never did nor did my family i grew up with. I had no counseling.