Here’s Why SO Many Young People Are Single These Days

This is why SO many young people are single these days. In this video, Martyn Iles speaks on the topic of singleness among young Christians and offers biblical advice on how to navigate it.

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Martyn Iles is an Australian lawyer, commentator, and preacher living in the US. He is the Chief Ministry Officer at Answers in Genesis, a large Christian apologetics and education ministry known for its famous Ark Encounter and Creation Museum attractions in Northern Kentucky, which are visited by 1.5 million people each year. From 2018–2023, Martyn was the managing director of the Australian Christian Lobby, one of Australia’s largest political movements.

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[blaiseaimee]

I never expected to be single, but after a very foolish youth I found myself single after all my friends were married. When I was 45 years old I became a follower of Christ. I thought, OK, this is why I haven't married, I needed to be Christian first to really understand the sacrament. Ten years later I am still single. I didn't want to be single and was suffering a lot because of this. About five years ago I prayed and asked Jesus: If he doesn't want me to marry, so be it, but please take the longing to be married away from me. Miraculously he did, and now I am peacefully single and understand my great ability in building his kingdom because of my singleness.

[suzanneflowers]

As an older single Christian woman, let me say Martyn is spot on. The Lord can use you right where you are if you make yourself available. A task does not have to be "big, " either, to be greatly pleasing to Him. He's got "works to walk in" for all of His followers.

[garymahon]

But, singles dont always have tons of time, either, as we must do everything. Laundry, cooking, jobs, cleaning, repairing things, pets care, shopping, self care, serving others.

[goadyeyes]

Tremendous wisdom here: “God has put us in our circumstances “. Understand this and ask Him for ways to serve Him in them. That’s where contentment comes from.

[garytakvorian]

Beautifully said, "Do not flee your circumstances". It's love your "neighbor", not your "stranger". It's also, "honor thy mother and thy father". "Don't flee"

[Kuttysinaustralia]

Amen! Make it a singleness for the kingdom of God! Thank you Martyn! God bless you and continue to use you for His glory

[brittag.pedersen]

...I have being single and lived by myself all my life, and I am soon to be 56 now. Because of a troubled upbringing based of a lot of trouble in my family, I found that I had so many wounds inside, that would or could destroy a any love-relationship. So I choose to focus on letting God heal me, since I didn't have the faith to believe in me being a good partner for anyone. That took longer than I thought. Today ...being more healed from the wounds of the past by the Grace of God, I would love to find a life-partner to and serve God, but not easy when you get older. Singleness was a blessing for a long time....to serve God to my best ability despite my wounds. Singleness today ...not so fun!

[potapotapotapotapotapota]

That's why Paul said "if you burn with lust then get married". Yet we in the church have such a purity culture around sexuality and refuse to admit that we have these desires and that they can sometimes be very hard to control. So many people fall into sin because of their lack of self control and the church's solution to that is to push for even more self control or to even ask the Holy Spirit to control them instead. But the thing is that it takes many many years before you can develop that kind of fruit in your life. It requires you to have a very deep and intimate relationship with Jesus, which many don't have because they are still new to their faith.

And unfortunately a lot of the time their faith gets destroyed because some legalistic idiot tells them they aren't good enough to get married or to even be a Christian. I mean, these people don't even know the first thing about the Gospel. Love ain't something you can earn. It was freely given to us on the cross despite the fact that we could not and never will be able to earn it. If you want love, if you want to get married, just choose someone - ANYONE - and just... love them - without expectation!

I know Paul told us to choose someone that shares the same worldview as we do, because if we join our lives to someone with a contradictory worldview to our own then it will lead to constant disagreement and conflict and will probably end in divorce anyway. But even then, we see in the book of Hosea how God told Hosea to marry Gomer despite the fact that she would cheat on him and did not love him. Then in the end we learn that he purchased her from slavery and she actually fell in love with him. So God has a plan for our lives even in light of all the heartbreak. We just need to trust Him. We can be wise about how we live our lives, but in the end it will rarely go according to plan.

[garymahon]

Thank you for addressing this Martyn. SIngles issues, especially older singles issues are seldom addressed in the church of God.

[SomaKitsune]

I appreciate that you mentioned "fleeing" circumstances at the end there. I have a dear friend who is in her early thirties, Christian and single. She wants more than anything to be married and has no real reason not to. She's attractive, smart, fun and a qualified teacher. But she has bizarre expectations and ideas about what constitute "signs from God" and because they're so weird, it just never happens. Now her response to this is that her husband must just not be in this country, so she travels the world hoping he'll magically appear. And you can't convince her she's wrong or she should do something different. It's so sad to watch.

[thecrew]

I really appreciated this little talk. Thank you. Almost everyone I know is married. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I pray constantly that the Christian sisters I know who are married will be blessed in their marriages. I'm often praying that God will keep both them and their spouses, safe. There for each other. Marriage is a gift.
I'm one of those that spent my life in foolishness and burnt all my bridges to a lasting relationship. When I was saved, I knew immediately, that God put me in the situation I'm in and I didn't need to change it. But it is not an easy road either, and there are many prices to pay for remaining single. I would not suggest it to most people.

[marksargent]

I have been married 23 years its not a bed of roses rose smell nice but thay all so have them thing called thorns and thay can make you bleed love is an act of your will to care for someone unconditional it hard but when Gods in your relationship it can be amazing

it has its ups and downs at this moment in time my wifes not a well person but while she was I hospital she witnessed to someone who wasn't saved and he gave his life to jesus as well.
she also ask me to get him a bible so he could read the word of God all things are possible for them who belive in him Gods got plans for all our lives .

just an update on this post sadly my wife passed away at the end of October a few days after her birthday.
she's now in a better place she was laid to rest only recently shes as she said gone to see jesus.and now at peace

[michaelralph]

Not single by choice. Have no friends anymore, they are all married. And moved on with their life. And now I am alone. Even in my church. I am the odd one out. And being in full time ministry has put women off. I cannot provide the luxury life of comfort and security that women desire. But I can provide the basics for a family where it's only me working. But most women want more.

[illonakilsdonk]

Yes!! Make singleness for God!! He can use you wherever you are. There's plenty of people who need to hear about jesus and they can hear about him best when we give them our time and friendship. Church isn't something they will go to, but they will have a cuppa with a friend and there they can still hear the gospel! Homeless ppl would gladly have someone to sit and chat with too over a cuppa. It's not all about big crowds or flying overseas, there's plenty of need in our own home towns.

[thedynamicsolo]

After two relationships with "Christian" women, one : my ex wife who cheated after just three years while I was a youth minister and then 20 years later with a woman at church who blew me off after she accepted a ton of help, money and my attention. I'm single for good.

[newcreaturechannel]

Amen, whatever God has for me is what I want. The longer Ive been single the more I appreciate the valuable time I have and that I get to grow closer to God. Turning 30 next month has come with thoughts of the pressures and expectations of the world but God keeps remimding me that He has other plans for me. God bless you all!

[ruthirwin]

Here in northern ireland there is a real lack of godly men in 30s and 40s, i and 2 friends have beautiful daughters godly women but there are no good men for them

[brightpage]

I think these days people are not mature enough to get or stay married, so the young adults these days are honoring that reality. When you are too self centered to share a life of commitments because you know you won't act responsibly to honor them, at least they are being honest about it. I respect that.

[DamePenmarric]

I always had a good and close relationship with my sister we laughed and cried gossiped, shopped, and traveled together therefore I never really felt lonely

[blsboom-fffq]

Not all of us are good in teams.

I try to be a unselfish and humble person, but I find that although I’m shy, I eventually overwhelm women.

But lastly, I believe we’re living in the end-days, and therefore we live in strange or different times.