I Made Her Choose Between Our Marriage Or The Baby 🥺😒 Reddit Stories

[RedditBook]

... so, AITA?
👀 Full Story ( Details + UPDATES ) 👇

Hello Reddit. I am coming to you for somewhere to look honestly. I’m just in so much shock I don’t know what to do anymore. I (39M) have been married to my wife, Clarissa (45F) for almost 19 years. 14 years ago, we welcomed our baby girl into the world, Kate. Me and Clarissa both grew up Mormon and were planning on raising Kate under the same morals. We were an incredibly happy family full of love until around Kates twelfth birthday. She started keeping secrets, little lies that we’d catch her in. It was never anything too serious but enough to spark some concern. I made sure to try and redirect her by telling her that the bishop is always open to talk and the church is there for her as well. Eventually she stopped lying as much as she did, we were finally able to trust her. Things took a turn for the worst when she sat me and her mother down for a talk. She told us she was 7 weeks pregnant and she didn’t know who the father was. Me and my wife were shocked. I didn’t know what to say or how to address the situation, unfortunately my wife was already talking before I could even wrap my head around what was happening. My wife demanded to know who the father was and through many tears, my Kate finally told us. It was a boy she met at church months prior who had recently left for a mission. I was willing to hear my daughter out, I was willing to push my religion aside to give her the option of what she wanted to do with the pregnancy, but my wife shut it down. She said abortion was absolutely not allowed and it would not be happening. Kate started sobbing profusely, begging her mom to please change her mind. However Clarissa is a very stern woman, she doesn’t change her mind so I knew the decision was made. That night after I made sure Kate was sleeping, I climbed into bed next to my wife so we could talk about what was going to happen. I told her that Kate deserves the choice like any other woman, but she wasn’t having any of it. She told me it wasn’t right and the church completely goes against it. I was going to fight for Kate harder but Clarissa just shut me down and went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up before everyone in the house. I made the girls breakfast and after Kate left for school I sat my wife down. I told her that I couldn’t support her decision and if she couldn’t give Kate the option, we needed to divorce. She lost her mind and went crazy, screaming throughout the house and throwing things at me. I left for my brothers house and have been here since. I’m not sure what to do anymore.

... so, AITA?

[SingingDragons]

Young man going on mission work is most likely 18 or older.

[AuntLoopy]

That missionary is AT LEAST 19 years old. She is FOURTEEN YEARS OLD.

Even the church allows abortion in the case of rape, and that's what this is.

[ShirleyBradbury-xzqz]

This boy has to be at least 18 years old. That's a criminal charge now.

[evelynduron]

Yeah this is rape does not matter if she consented to having sex. That dude needs to go to jail.

[kenarbes]

As a Mormon, myself, there is so much wrong with this story. 1. This girl is 14, so that's statutory r*pe. 2. The missionary, in having done the deed, is not worthy to go on a mission. OP needs to go to his Bishop with this so the young man can have his mission revoked. The young man has some repenting to do, and maybe jail time to serve. 3. The church teaches that we have Free Agency. This is a gray area because the daughter is 14, too young to make adult decisions. However, she's old enough to be held accountable spiritually for her decisions. Legally, however, her parents have the right to make decisions for her. What decisions they have the right to make is where the gray area starts and likely varies by State. ESH.

[Alloid-jj]

Daughter should absolutely have a choice. 14 v 18. The baby's father should be recalled and also dealt with.

[oddsock]

If this was known, the missionary would not be allowed on the mission. He probably would be excommunicated, police would have to be involved, as he's broken the law, she's only 14! Abortion is not against LDS religion, there is free agency. The missionary could repent that takes work it's not just words, serve time, eventually prove he is worthy to be rebaptized. If she goes on to have the child, he'd have to pay child support. The 14 year old needs a therapist (from outside of the church) decide what she wants to do about the pregnancy. The parents need to support her decision.

[JustLouIt]

That new missionary is going to be sitting in a jail cell

[AzazelEmery]

Dad is not the asshole, mother is for forcing a 14 year old to continue with the pregnancy in the name of her religion.

[alexrusso]

If this is what the daughter wants they need to let her. Otherwise it's basically a setup for her to resent the church later on and possibly her parents. Their daughter was taken advantage of by an older man. That's not ok and its not ok to let her have a baby when shes not even old enough to work or drive in most places...

[carolynp]

The first time a religious parent is thinking of their child and not their beliefs. Divorce your "wife." She's choosing religion over your daughters future. Great, dad, btw.

[matthewhuszarik]

Marriage is voluntary parenthood is a sacred obligation. If I have to choose what’s best for my daughter and what my wife wants. My daughter wins every time. My wife would say the exact same thing and I would expect nothing less.

[anime-channel]

To those saying that the daughter should decide. I would agree if she was 16, but 14?
She has no idea what the baby means for her future and how it will hold her back. I mean, she hasn’t even finished middle school.
Just think of Debbie from Shameless. I mean, I doubt the parents are ready to be grandparents and look after the baby 24/7 so the daughter can have a normal life.
I am usually against abortion, but this is the case of rape of a KID! Not a minor, but a kid who has no slightest idea of the adult world…
And OP is a good father.

[league-of-shadows]

The boy/man who got her pregnant and left for missionary work is unfit and should not be around people who he may take advantage of.

[goochmcduck]

Ppl always against abortion until it comes to someone they love, then back to being against it

[onemanoneperpes]

How about letting your daughter decide rather than argue over something like this? When you left out whatever your daughter picked. Tell us what her choice was, and then you can ask as I feel like that detail is important.

[rebekah.]

I need to know what they plan to do if she doesn't get an abortion. Is the church ok with a 14 year old unmarried mother? Are they going to keep the baby in the family or put it up for adoption? They need to look at ALL the options here not just "Yes or No" to an abortion. And lets not forget she's 14. I'm not sure a 14 year old is emotionally prepared for this, whichever path they choose. She may need to see a therapist to process all this.

[abbymckenzie]

Bruh. Im literally going on a mission soon. You need to be AT LEAST 18 to serve. That missionary was seeing a minor. That is grooming. I dont care if people say she "consented" that was rape. The church allows abortion if the baby is a product of being raped. But also, as much as i disagree with abortion, It blows my mind to think a mother would FORCE THIS on her daughter. She has her agency, but also. Thats a child. Dont force motherhood on her.

[lyfislemons]

Before I was against abortion as I always heard in the church sermon it is bad. What if the child grew up to be a President or a somebody in this world. So I kept in my mind, babies in the womb are innocent angels. Until I became an adult and realized a lot of things in life. It is so fvcked to be born and raised by dysfunctional parents. I have seen many people so broken and life being hard on them. I personally even face hardship and gosh no one should be force to be born in this cruel world. Especially if the one raising u isn't equipped, ready and just down right bad. It's only few people with harsh background that made it. The rest are just suffering.