Let's Talk: Does Age Matter On The Social Dance Floor?

It's time to talk about age and older generations on our social dance scene. Recently I have heard more and more people talking about younger crowds taking over our dance scene, and the fact that as someone older than the average age of the crowd, it's more difficult to get dances, and that people aren't getting asked anymore. This is especially prevalent in bachata with the rise of sensual bachata, and more intimate movements. I decided to talk about it and share some points that were on my mind!

What is your experience of this? If you're someone older than the average age of a dancer, do you feel that this is the case? And if you're younger, would you have any issues with dancing with people older than you? Let me know in the comments!

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[iw]

The older the dancer the more time they've had to develop grace, confidence, technique and a variety of moves and that's why they're beautiful and fun dancers. It's a pleasure to learn from them. I'm in my early 20s and I love to dance with all ages, all abilities, and as a follow and a lead. A smile when asking for dances and while dancing goes a long way with me.

[kimsimmons]

I'm 64 and started Salsa at 55. I noticed right away hardly anyone would dance with me. So I learned moves I can do alone and have no problem dancing with myself!

[rossmonkey]

Hi I started going to salsa classes in my early fifties with no previous dancing experience around 2019. I didn’t have the courage to goto social until after Covid. My personal experience is that salsa scene is more age inclusive. I moved to UK early this year and found it really hard at socials. It was sensual bachata heavy, my bachata skill was more at a basic level and the dance scene was dominated with young people. It really got me down for a while. In the end, I decided if I can’t beat them, I’ll join them. I started bachata lessons twice a week and got to know some students. Body isolations and bending are easier for young agile bodies of course but they are not impossible for us. I still don’t get as many dance as i would like but it has improved massively.
Don’t give up, keep doing lessons and keep going to socials.

[pachinkothemachine]

Ciao Rasa, 30 years old leader from Italy here. In the Italian scene you can also see the separation between younger and older crowd, but I don't care and dance with everybody. I have to say, usually older women are nicer and really enjoy the dancing while younger ones tend to have more of a snobby attitude. And as you said, many have decades of experience and it really shows on the dancefloor.

[mma]

I actually love dancing with older women. They were the ones who welcomed me when i started out m. So now i forward the favour by dancing with any older follows i meet at a social.

They’re also usually really good at following with the lightest of guidance.

[evertondod]

It’s important to dance with everyone especially beginners who are our future whether old or young it’s a great community to be in and you are a great advocate of dancing with those who may not have had a dance yet ❤

[lynnephillips]

I feel quite lucky in the North East .. I ask leaders all the time and very rarely does anyone say no!
Of course I notice that the young girls are asked more often but I accept that .. I was young too once 😂 .. it was fun being asked more, but now tbh I like to choose who I ask 😊 If someone does ask me I never turn them down, but I'm happy to ask most of the time.
I like it when a guy I don't know starts to dance with me, and I can see his face thinking at first it might be boring, but coming to the realization that I can dance, I can move and follow well .. and have fun on the dance floor! 😊 I think it gives me confidence to ask more people I don't know so well! It's a great topic .. everyone will age at some point .. but you don't have to get old! 😊

[pamelahigham]

Thank you for flying the flag for older dancers. I started salsa in my late forties and still love it now. I agree that you become ‘invisible’ in life as you get older but I don’t let that happen on the dance floor!. I have studied hard to hone my skill and enjoy the look on the leaders faces when they are pleasantly surprised by this oldie. I’m not so experienced in bachata but ensure that what I do know - I do to the best of my ability. Yes I get overlooked for the younger (bachata) followers but I don’t let that hold me back.

[juliahutchinson]

Very interesting topic, thanks Rasa for raising it. I'm 63 and it's not just dancing, the older you get, the more invisible you become in life in general I find. There's a more older generation in modern jive compared to salsa in my experience which is one of the reasons I moved to Salsa .... I prefer to be around younger ... but the problems you highlight are making me feel like moving back to MJ and be with the oldies again 🤔

[mrjakesh]

I'm a man that's just retired and hasn't danced since 2020. I went back for classes a few months back, to my old dance teacher. The fact the teacher welcomed me back and introduced me by name softened the blow but it took weeks for the students to accept me. I felt that they viewed me with suspicion because I'm much older than them. I understood that and just went back every week. I'm fit and athletic and young at heart. I also have 10 years of experience. The older women started dancing with me and enjoyed it. After months i started dancing with the young girls and they actually told me that it was very nice to dance with me. I think if they see, and experience, that you are only there to enjoy the dancing and that you can actually dance, then they start to accept you. It was quite a journey for me though. Thanks for this video.

[alfacentauri]

What I like with older women is that they have more life experience and confidence than younger women. They are more present in the dance and they dare to add more of a flair of themselves to the dance.

[eleanorjones]

Fab topic Rasa … when I was a younger dancer … I really liked the guys who danced with older women … I held them in high regard for looking for a great dance … rather than trying to ‘meet’ women … I also loved their respect for all …

[budgiebird]

Bravo Rasa and well said! This is why more and more of us "older" ladies who came on the dancing scene at the start when we were indeed young and nimble fee
Ll soooo disillusioned and left out on the sideliness now, when we know how to dance well but are never asked when we eventually go out! I have gradually over the years stoped going out as what's the point of going to the expense when you end up sitting for most of the night and only dance when some accepts you asking. It would be good to see if there is a change in behaviour on the dancefloor....

[mt]

I dance with anyone regardless of the age and as a follower, I have learnt not afraid to ask the leaders for a dance. Only people I don’t want to dance with are the creepy ones, the ones they are not there for pure joy for dancing…that is again, regardless of the age.. And I agree, some older salsero/a are dancing so many years so that they are generally very good dancers and they dance with anyone even if you are advanced/beginner and pleasure to dance with. Whereas, some younger dancers only tend to dance with you if you are a ‘good’ dancer.. well this may be different topic though..😅

[DrKaill]

As a lead I try to dance with everyone, though when dancing with older followers I tend not to do sensual moves or moves that require greater flexibility. Mainly since I'm worried about potentially hurting them.

[karthikg]

Good video. You are being a good human, good citizen of the dancing community. 👏

[koolrabi]

Thank you Rasa for dancing with this older fan at Bachaturo ☺

[solitarygal]

As always, your words of wisdom are refreshing and enlightening. Thank you, Rasa❤

[jennycabot]

A very good and current topic to discuss! I often just go to lessons now and not the social due to the this very subject. It is so disheartening when you are overlooked. It is a shame as I just love to dance to latin music. I appreciate leaders have a choice of whom they dance with but we are only asking for 3 minutes of the leader's time. It's not a lot to ask for really and who knows the leader could have a lovely dance with us aging ladies. Sure as you age you may not be as energetic but perhaps more elegant and a little more graceful on the dance floor. Thank you Rasa for approaching this subject with such sensitivity xx. P.S. love your videos! x

[LisaEvans-dt]

Thanks for this Rasa. I'm sorry to hear that ageism seems to be creeping onto the salsa dance floor. The young ones don't know what they're missing out on! I didn't start dancing salsa until I was 40, a good while ago now and I was delighted to find that no one seemed to care how old you were. Yes, don't wait to be asked and everyone should follow the rule of never refusing a first dance with anyone. If you are enjoying the dance show it! You'll be asked again. So many of my dance partners say they wanted to dance with me because I look like I'm enjoying myself. It also helps if you attend a class at the event. I look like I wouldn't necessarily be a reasonable dancer but they find out otherwise in the class!