30 Signs You're Masking Autism

Are you masking your autistic tendencies? Watch this video to learn 30 ways you might be masking autism.

#chrisanddebby #actuallyautistic

❗️NOTE: No video (or YouTuber through a video) can diagnose or un-diagnose you with autism. Videos on our channel are meant purely for educational and entertainment purposes to help promote better understanding of neurodivergent minds.

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🎥 WATCH MORE:

📖 READ MORE:
1. Camouflage and masking behavior in adult autism (2023)
2. "Masking is life": Experiences of masking in autistic and nonautistic adults (2021)
3. 'I was exhausted trying to figure it out': The experiences of females receiving an autism diagnosis (2020)
4. Gender differences in self-reported camouflaging in autistic and non-autistic adults (2019)
5. 'Putting on my best normal': Social camouflaging in adults with autism spectrum conditions (2017)
6. Experiences of autism acceptance and mental health in autistic adults (2017)

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⭐️ ABOUT US:

I'm Chris and alongside Debby, my brilliant partner, we've traveled, taught kids and families, founded companies, and navigated the world while also balancing both autism and ADHD as a neurodiverse duo.

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[ChrisandDebby]

Which of these do YOU do? And what would you add to the list? Tell us below - we love learning so much from everyone here ❤

And be sure to hit the bell for notifications 🔔when Part 2 comes next week!

[tamirundell]

#30. Using default phrases for every situation.
#29. Laughing at jokes you don't get.
#28. Avoiding phone calls and texting later. *Maybe
#27. Avoiding "weird" topics.
#26. Pretending not to notice sensory overload.
#25. Pretending I'm listening.
#24. Practicing "normal" reactions in the mirror.
#23. Mimicking other people's facial reactions.
#22. Preparing backup conversation topics.
#21. Eating food you hate to avoid awkwardness.
#20. Rehearsing conversations in advance.
#19. Wearing sensory unfriendly clothes.
#18. Over explaining everything.
#17. Changing your voice to match the situation.
#16. Overthinking every social interaction.
#15. Faking interest in small talk.
#14. Suppressing stimming in public.
#13. Replaying conversations on an endless loop.
#12. Feeling like your acting all the time.
#11. Not completely losing it when people misunderstand your face, body language, or tone.
#10. Suppressing meltdowns or shutdowns until you're alone.
#9. Pretending to be fine when you're definitely not.
#8. Avoiding social events but going anyway.
#7. Monitoring your tone, volume, and words constantly.
#6. Rephrasing everything to be softer and less blunt.
#5. Following a mental social checklist.
#4. Dominating conversations because it's easier.
#3. Being in constant fight or flight mode.
#2. Living in a world that wasn't built for you.
#1. Masking everything means relearning who I am under the mask.

[Sassy-qhnh]

Who else tuned out on a thought tangent and realized 3 items later that they had stopped listening and had to rewind? Lol.

[juliegolick]

One that I’d add is doing extensive research when you know you’re going to be in a new situation so you can look natural in the moment. (Such as looking up restaurant menus so you already know what you want when you arrive, or finding pictures of the interiors of new coffee shops before you enter, or finding videos of the dance studio you want to attend to get a feel for their dress code and how people act.)

[koda_pop]

For years with my (many) therapists, we were so confused on why I was anxious seemingly 24/7 about everything and everything. Turns out it was masking to an extreme level, where I didn't realise it and was subconsciously lying to my therapists to seem more "normal" than I actually was. After meeting my amazing autistic girlfriend, we kinda pieced things together ourselves, and I finally got diagnosed a few weeks ago! I can finally start tackling and dismantling behaviours that cause me intense anxiety and replace them with shameless authenticity. Masking helped me survive the neurotypical world, and now that I don't have to worry about surviving, I can focus on what makes me genuinely happy :)

[FuzzyTrekkie]

I think I hit the jackpot with my job. I'm a groundskeeper so talking about the weather doesn't actually count as small talk since it actually impacts my duties

[snakewomangirl]

61, just going through ASD & ADHD assessment. Diagnosed with bipolar and BPD 10 years ago, fortunately this helped me retire and since I have reduced my social interaction I can spend most of my time on my specialist interests so I’m a lot calmer. Being older also enables me to be blunt, refuse social engagements and be a weird old woman. It is so liberating 😊

[SpiritofRavens]

From "I'm normal, but a bit weird" to "it looks as if I'm high sensitive" to "probably adhd but definitely not autistic" to "damn, I think I do might have autistic traits, but I don't think I'm masking much, I mostly avoid situations" to watching this video and "f****
Thank you for your work. It helps me to discover myself

[lilipictures]

The number one is really the most difficult thing, for me, knowing who I really am, without trying to control, simply being me...

[Kirajde]

36 years old, working on my autism diagnosis now. I've masked so hard my entire life. Everyone seems shocked now when I explain to them all of my internal struggles. On the outside I only allow myself to outwardly react to really bad sensory issues. And it's usually just plugging my ears, or digging my fingers into legs under my desk if I'm at work. And if I am forced to hide my internal reactions for too long then I have to go to the bathroom to silently scream, and stim. I CAN'T do it in public! But holding in the irritations throughout the day behind a smile is so ridiculously difficult. I get home, get in my comfy clothes, and just blanket burrito away from the outside world. And going to any big event takes so much out of me that I have to stay in bed for the next 24 hours, so I don't do big group socializing very often. I'm going to rewatch this video, and then share it with my doctor. It explains everything about me so perfectly.

[nessnixtony]

We suspect my husband is autistic and have been enjoying your videos. My hubby calls you the Ryan Reynolds of autism. (I, of course, do not know what he means by that but I know he means it complimentary, so I thought I'd share). Keep up the great content, you're helping so many of us feel our way in the dark.

[MelanieDPerkins]

I thought I was "great" at socializing, but realized it was "customer service persona" I activated. I remember making a call at work, and my cube neighbor (not being unkind) laughed and said I put on my "Mom voice, " when I make calls.

[kellyschroeder]

All of them. Would love to hear about learning to unmask and identifying when it’s accomplished. So so hard at age 60 +

[elliotparrott]

Your content has been saving my life since 2024. I'm 42 now, and I want you to know how grateful I am for your videos. Thank you from the bottom of my anxiety riddled heart. 💜

[camilabacigalupo]

"anyone else is pissed off by the lack of symmetry of this place?" 🤣🤣 I felt so identified with this

[cb]

My general strategy is to avoid social situations if at all possible. I always say something dumb or overshare when I casually chat with people. And afterwards I waste a lot of energy beating myself up about it. So avoidance has become my choice. Of course I realize there's a price to pay for that too. It's a struggle. 🙁

[wennapeters]

Diagnosed age 24 after spiralling at university due to being unable to meet the increased expectations. Got through my entire childhood being told my symptoms were "learned behaviour" and to "stop copying your younger brother". Thanks mum

[filly]

At 70, both my husband and I COMPLETELY relate to all 30 of these masking issues and too many others we've run across to count. At our age, there's absolutely no point in spending the time and money for us to get a definitive diagnosis. From watching countless videos like yours, we agree that we have both been high masking neurodivergent and just thought we were born on the wrong planet. Thanks for all you do, Chris!

[dru]

I was randomly diagnosed in my 40's. Sadly had a crushing alcohol addiction and was hospitalized 8 times that year.

[alphafert]

I work in a grocery store that is focused on engaging the customers so 5 days a week I have an average of 250 conversations. I'm often used as an example of how to interact with customers but they don't understand it's all masking. I use a series of catch phrases & info dumping to entertain the customer through the interaction.

My main point is about the torture of having said something off like the example given of "enjoy your flight" "you too". As the customer leaves one of my closings is "enjoy your food" & most of the time they reply "you too". When I bring this stuff up coworkers imply I'm the only one that notices this stuff. My conclusion is that NT's don't think about conversations nearly as much so those times you or I beat ourselves up about saying something off it's likely only us that noticed. So while it's fair to be disappointed with messing up the exchange you also deserve credit for the awareness that you had.