An Ethical Non-Monogamous Couple Takes Us Inside Their Open Marriage

Ellecia and Rob Paine join our episode titled, “Romance, Bromance & Whoa-mance!” The Seattle couple opens up about their ethical non-monogamous marriage and we even meet their partner, Danny, in the sit-down with Tamron.


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From the deeply moving to the purely fun, “Tamron Hall” is a daily destination for all things topical and a platform for viewers to connect with the people who are shaping our world through meaningful, engaging, and entertaining conversations. As a new mom, a newlywed, and a survivor who is proving you can accomplish anything at any age, Tamron Hall brings a refreshing, relatable, unpredictable, and unstoppable voice to television.

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[sugarcoatedgoggles]

This is so good! As someone who spent many years in polyamorous (ethically non monogamous) relationships and eventually decided that it wasn't for me, it's fine and normal. It really forces you to deal with your own personal demons and talk about it so you can really show up for yourself and your relationships. You can't bottle feelings up and if you're going to be your honest self with your partner or partners. Practicing polyamory is what lead me to my intentionally monogamous relationship. The key part being that it's intentional, not default.

[BassBwoy]

This just seems like a bunch of confusion, jealousy and hurt feelings. I don’t get how bringing someone you’re romantically interested home to where you and your husband lives helps with trust. In other news, the husband has two other girlfriends and admits he gets jealous of his wife having another boyfriend. How does your wife feel knowing you have two other girlfriends?!

[maluithil]

What a great segment! As someone who has been in various poly relationships across the years, it's so nice to see discussions about it that are non-judgemental, and that include actual ENM people. So many people on the outside are only interested in sensationalizing it. ENM can be fantastic, just depends on who you are, who you're with, and how you go about it.

[PDXBruce]

Great show. I appreciate the candor of Ms. Hall. If traditional marriage and monogamy yielded better results, it would be much easier to defend. Given the divorce rates, and the utter contempt that precedes it, something is painfully wrong with our assumptions. And the standard playbook for "cheating" is to fly into an uncontrollable rage and destroy everything about the relationship. All things considered, divorce may be the most expense social pathology we face. Fighting and ugly divorce are two of the ACES. A close knit family raising healthy children is essential but monogamy does not guarantee that outcome.

Trying to get all of one's desires/needs met by one person is extremely difficult. If you can do it with monogamy, wonderful! Personally, there is no one person who meets me on on the social, intellectual and emotional levels of importance to me. I do not need to have sex with all of the intimate people in my life, but I do choose to spend close time with those who fulfill me.

It appears to me that religious strictures create more pathologies than they solve. Prove me wrong.

[beatduck]

Thank you for bringing this story and people out. Representation is important.

I’ve found ENM people to be the ones who look at their emotions honestly and head right in to deal with them. Not relying on the social script or pressure to do it for them.
Bravo.

[ithinkigottalent]

Interesting segment!! It's not my personal thing and I'm open to learning how they manage it.

[hellodestiny]

I'm just wondering how they manage their time... especially the guy who's in the quad...

[Dreamdancer]

Open marriage its like the expression...almost pregnant..it either is or isnt....if you bring third parties in the relationship its not a marriage...find another term for it like official friends with benefits but marriage it is not.Its like going to a company and wanting the title of the manager but doing the work of the the title you deserve according to your work....

[wdjoseph]

So glad this is being talked about openly. I've been in polyamorous relationships that have been satisfying, honest, and healthy.

[dorothywatson]

Tamron your dress is beautiful 😍 just like yo❤️

[janicescott-pair]

People, go sit down! How many of these arrangements are where both parties have agreed? Why get married? If it for rights and financial security, then get this legally wrote up.

[queenreg]

It seems like a whole lot of planning and moving parts.

[faceyourskin]

Basically, they want to be single but have the benefit of a second income. Stupid just be single and have a room mate

[ATSdream]

They are sick and they don’t love each other simply as that

[tyrone]

This is disgusting. Its called adultery. Stop renaming things to feel better about your crap and the love is not deeper

[t.wilson]

I love the way society has created intellectual terminology for the simplest of situations & professions (not judging ANYONE)… because “ethical non-monogamy” sounds more cultured than, say…. Cheating (open relationships or whateva) 😅😅😅🤷🏽‍♀️ we’re evolving slowly but surely

[myahglackson]

Tamron please don't promote this stuff

[healingsounds]

People trying to be honest with their partners, but being dishonest with their own self. 😂

[chitownmo]

Any man or woman who accepts this type of arrangement in their marriage is a weak willed, Codependent coward. Your spouse is telling you "You are not good enough to sexually satisfy me, but you are good enough to help me pay my bills." You are no longer a Spouse, but are a Sponser/Roomate. Complete disrespect.

[myahglackson]

Take your crap shoot. Somebody is going to lose