“Our gas is getting shut off…but I won’t sell my 7 cars”

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Peter and Megan, 36 and 37. They are married with no kids but severe financial stress threatens their future together. Peter has grown to resent Megan’s unwillingness to seek a higher income. He’s changed jobs, but won’t consider selling any of their seven vehicles to alleviate their stress.

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[ramitsethi]

Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

[mollyelazier]

This ended up being an eye-opening episode for me. I was listening in my car, being all judgy about the 7 cars. Thinking "How can they not see that they already have the answer to their money problems, but they are unwilling to do it?! How lame!" The next day, I was complaining about how my kids' activities are so expensive and "if only we didn't have to spend money on sports travel, etc." It was at this point that I realized that my kids' activities are my version of the 7 cars. I have spent thousands of dollars on my kids' activities in the past 12 months even though I am in credit card debt. But when I think about telling my kids that they can't do their sports anymore because I can't afford it, I immediately dismiss the idea...just like Peter dismissed the idea of selling one of the cars. I have my own easy answer to solving my money problems...I am just unwilling to take it. Made me reflect and give a little more grace to Peter and Megan. It's not always as easy as it would seem.

[svetlanadreher]

He wants her to get a higher paying job to not sell cars. She wants him to sell cars and the shoppe to not look for a better paying job and keeping her playing money. No one wants to take responsibility for anything. They resent each other and don’t support each other.

[nachoaverage]

The way Peter so casually suggested divorce yet was literally in tears about the idea of selling just 1 of his cars may explain why Megan is so checked out. Peter makes these big car purchases and doesn't consult with Megan about it 1st because he "deserves" it in spite of being over his head in debt. Megan may not make a lot of money but she's not the 1 living above her means outside of her apple watch

[maximillie_]

The longest conversation that went absolutely no where 😂

[NickiBluIs]

Honestly when he said he would not sell his toys, I would have flipped the question to “What are you willing to lose to keep the cars?” Is he willing to have no gas? No house? When resources are limited you need to get brutally honest with priorities.

[ikea]

I think they are BOTH extremely comfortable with not changing because they’ve been together since high school. There’s no balance, no motivation, just comfortability .

[violetasettle]

I had a little girl in my neighborhood say her mom couldn’t afford snow boots (we live in the Dakotas) and they have a hundred grand in vehicles including a motorcycle.😢 Priorities in this country are not ok.

[AmyAnnetteHenion]

At 1:04:00, it upsets me that Peter's instinct would be to mourn the sale of his vehicles *after he's dead* rather than think, "I'm glad the value of those cars can be used to take care of my wife when I'm gone" 🤯

[stampinprn]

I think he wants out no matter what. It’s not even about the money.

[thewriteplaceforme]

What a sad and frustrating episode. I actually appreciated the ads because I needed a minute to stop yelling at the screen.
For her: if she works in retail, doesn't she have to balance the till at the end of a shift? That's money, and she has to deal with it. She's definitely comfortable with the way things are and won't change unless (maybe even if) she loses everything. Find another caretaker and back to comfort-ville. I hope she works on her self-esteem and starts to look forward to the future.
For him: I'm a bit sad for him (and her) because he's basically said that he'd rather lovingly let go of his wife than give up a single vehicle. I guess to him, it's a better long-term solution because he won't have to be a caretaker, and she won't hold him back anymore. What he seems not to realize is that his spending won't change, and he's still going to be in debt and paying minimums.
For both of them: Ramit is never going to just take one person's side and sprinkle fairy dust to magically make your problems disappear. Ramit can show you a path, but you have to walk it yourselves.
From just one hour, and from an outsider's perspective, the two don't seem like a team who will work together to improve their lives. If they ever send a follow-up, it would not surprise me to hear that he filed for (amicable) divorce.
(I think my biggest surprise in this episode was to hear that they reached out twice to be on and still didn't send a follow-up.)

[dunamispedro]

Ramit's patience and emotional care with people in a vulnerable situation is amazing.

[ericeiber]

Dude is done, this is no longer about finances.

[VivienneAiyela]

I have been watching/listening to these conversations for over a year. This was the FIRST one I have ever screamed at whilst driving!!!! Sadly they are on a path of destruction and won't address/admit the real issues. Well done Ramit, I do hope that others who are in the same situation have listened and make change to improve their lives

[mbens]

Maybe a reframe around “I’ve worked hard for what I have” to “I’ve taken on a lot of debt for what I have.” You don’t actually own the things because there is CC debt, utilities not being paid, and a house about to be repossessed.

[Flare]

This episode is a reminder that we can't help people who do not want to change. Ramit did a great job with being patient while also holding them accountable. Hope they take something positive from this experience and move forward with action toward building their rich life.

[zbnkgog]

Did anyone notice the occasional screen glow she had while looking down. Playing her games even on this call is indicative of how little this couple prioritizes actually solutions. I hope they change.

On another note I love listening to the way Ramit talks about money and relationships. I’ve been listening for the last 6 months and have completely changed my lifestyle. I have paid off my car and working on my student loans now to get my 50/30/20 ratios in check. Went from 96% on needs to 68% currently! Cannot wait for when I have the 30% for fun! Thank you Ramit and your team for showing a path for change.

[drmccleggan]

I have never seen a couple so utterly determined to stay in a terrible situation. Hats off to Ramit for not flipping a table over. I kept thinking I was the most frustrated with them I could get, then she'd brought up the watches again and I had to headdesk.

[pauchopkins]

I’m sorry this couple wasted your time Ramit. I would not have been able to continue talking with them after it was apparent they cared more about toys than actually improving their lives.

[niknak]

She’s far from perfect but I think it’s a little odd to come on here and say I know she’s comfortable and feel safe in her job, but she needs to change that job but I feel safe and comfortable with my cars and my garage but those are nonnegotiable. That might be why their “conversations” never work, most conversations don’t work if one person goes into them, saying the other has to change everything, but they themselves are unwilling to adapt any of their behavior.