Straight Talk on Covert Narcissists

This week Dr. Melissa Kalt interviews Renee Swanson about Straight Talk on Covert Narcissists. Renee is the founder of the Covert Narcissism Podcast on Anchor media and the Covert Narcissism Group (51,000 members) on Facebook.

Index
00:00 Introductions
03:01 Facebook Covert Narcissism Group
05:00 Covert Narcissism is not easy to understand, unless you've lived it.
07:10 Self Doubt
08:37 Covert Narcissist vs Overt/Grandiose Narcissist
14:04 Flying Monkeys
16:00 Reasons victims are afraid to leave Covert Narcissists is different from afraid to leave Overt Narcissists
19:07 Children, Parenting with a Covert Narcissist/Toxic Partner
24:24 What things did you do to heal while still in the relationship?
30:50 Resources
End

Renee Swanson Bio:
Renee Swanson began her journey into covert narcissism research out of desperation and survival. Her awakening started 17 years into a "forever" marriage with two pre-teen children. She felt she was married to an emotional time bomb, never knowing when he would go off and never understanding why.

Her discovery of the word narcissism and more specifically the phrase covert narcissism was life-changing! Finally, someone understood and she was no longer alone! Her journey is not through academics and book-learning, but rather through intense life experience. She entered a marriage and came out with a psychology degree in covert narcissism.

Renee has worked with countless victims over the last few years. She created Covert Narcissism Group, CNG, a Facebook community support group for victims of covert narcissistic abuse. She also started two other Facebook support groups, Divorcing a Covert Narcissist and Parenting with a Toxic Partner.

Renee is the founder and operator of the Covert Narcissism Podcast to help spread the word to our hurting world! You can subscribe to her work on Patreon to gain even more access to resources for awakening, healing and extracting covert narcissism from your world. It is Renee's mission to help our world get on a powerful journey of healing!!

Links for accessing Renee's resources

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Dr. Melissa

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[lisahamer]

Resonate with Renee so much! Me shouldering the blame for HIS responsibilities?! Guilt for bringing up children with him. Guilt for choosing him as my childrens I realise I didn't choose the REAL him. I chose the person that I was made to believe I was getting. So much truth spoken in this interview!

[WW-ijsn]

Excellent, this resonates with me so much as well. He's been gone 1yr, 5 mo. Educating myself has been so important, as Dr. Melissa said, I can now identify things. Hovering, for example. His message on Mother's Day did nothing for me, just thanked him, because I saw it for what it was. I appreciate Renee sharing her story...the last time he left our son was 5, now he's 20. I was willing to work on it last time because of not wanting our son to be alone with him for visitations. His apologies were so convincing I believed maybe it would be different that time, but no. I never understood that he was a narcissist, a covert to boot, until about a year ago, then my life suddenly made sense. Never going back there.

[timlaw]

Great discussion about being a victim of Covert narcissism and how only victims can fully appreciate the subtlety (and not so subtle)of this disorder.

[Ashndl]

So true … you are doing a wonderful job at sorting inner confusion of abused souls

[lifeisgood]

Victim of the world! A very apt description.

[DJH]

Not all narcissists had “trauma” in childhood and had a bad home life as a kid. My ex husband narcissist was so coddled and spoiled and catered to that everyone in his family always covered for him and carried their relationships that he never had to put any effort into any relationship. He did nothing for our marriage and expected me to do everything. Never an apology. Never any thought into doing anything with me or our kids. It was horrid for decades.

[astercite]

Covert narcissism is like the torture with open tap dripping one drop unevenly, the relentlessness and subtlety drives you nuts over time.

[matthewrochte]

Informative interview. I really liked the distinction discussion between covert narcissists and overt ones.