My mom's dating theory

[andrewlee]

"When you look at someone with rose-coloured glasses, all the red flags look just like... flags."

[LoriPeace]

When I was a teenager, just starting to notice boys and think about wanting to go out, my mom told me, "Never date a boy you wouldn't be willing to marry. Because if you start dating him and you fall in love and then you discover that he's not the kind of person that you would want to marry, your emotions are involved and it makes it so much more difficult to make yourself break up with him." Wise words from a wise woman!

[taylormann]

And kudzu usually takes over and kills what it attaches to if you leave it for too long. This metaphor is brilliant

[Yes-dynx]

Good advice, but sometimes this world is so caught up in trying to find flaws in others that we start to see red flags that aren’t even there. See that was my issue, I would self sabotage my happiness cause I would listen to others who would say “oh well he doesn’t do this or that so clearly that’s a bad sign” etc, YES I agree you should definitely do what she is saying here, but also kinda keep in mind, nobody is perfect, and there is a difference between a red flag and a flaw. A red flag only stays red if the person isn’t willing to acknowledge and do better💓

[MóTee]

I agree with your mom. It took me years to get that lesson, I was in my mid 30s when I grasped it actually. Being nice is a rip off for real because many times you stay because you're trying to be understanding and a nice person but the kindest thing you can do truly is to leave early.

Problem is, most young people go dating with no end game in mind. Like the dating in itself has no real purpose, and when you're dating just to date and have fun and be romantic than you will have a lot of entanglements that you will have to hack off with pieces of you in them.

Many people these days just date to have sex because that is the only intimacy they know, and when your life lacks intimacy you will sell your birthright for that moment of intimacy with someone you're not even seeing a future with.

We have stopped asking ourselves questions in our decision making and so we float in and out of relationships that some turn toxic only because you were never suited for each other and so like chemicals that shouldn't be mixed you become toxic together.

[ruthalysse]

Also a good metaphor for dealing with sin right away rather than letting bitterness, resentment, etc grow

[bbqbros]

My advice exactly. Been married 7 years with two kids. Lead with your head and not your heart in dating. Decide FAST whether or not your values/goals align and whether or not you'd be a good match. Because once you develop emotions of attachment, its gonna be a lot harder to think clearly.

[fearinghashem]

I was told similar advice about parenting. I have six young kids and years ago another mother that also has six kids that are now grown told me that children are like gardens. And when you notice little behaviors that aren’t good you pull the weeds now. Address things as they come up. Don’t let things go or else those weeds will be so rooted deeply you can’t pull them out without damage.

[nader]

I agree. Most people criticize me for getting rid of a relationship too quick. I tell them I can see red flags too quick and better to stop early. My attention to details helped me detect those things quickly.

[vannayoung]

You are blessed to have such wonderful parents, and they are blessed to have you as their daughter ❤️

[Greekgal]

As a 15 year old girl I am so luckey to have access to Videos like these 😊 thanks Brett

[MovieDudeGregg]

Diane is a genius! Why isn't she writing a book with these amazing dating tips?

[samueljohnston]

I just ended a 2 and a half year relationship today because of something just like this, this advice would have been incredible 2 years ago because it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

[angiemillion]

Omg !! Your mother is a wise woman 🥰 going through it right now !

[Astridreynold]

Will always remember Brett cooper as comment section

[mioyumi]

As long as you just leave him/her and don't chop him with an axe. I agree.😂

[MarioLopez]

I can confirm as a South Carolinian theres so much kudzu. It is so annoying to deal with.😢😅

[archermaniaford]

I agree mostly, but I really liked what healthygamergg said about it. I'm paraphrasing, "If they are unwilling to work on their red flags, that is the red flag" and thats when I think you should run. Although, if you have different values all together, then you should probably run regardless 😂

[judichatowsky]

Great analogy Brett: maybe you could make a “remember the kudzu” something or other for young people to keep on hand as reminder (drinking glasses?) My experience is that when attraction/ desire set in —-lots of wisdom goes out the window.

[The_Dudester]

I was 12 and chewing my mom out about a toxic relationship she was in. She tried a redirect, telling me I should go out and just get laid. I replied: "Mom, once you have s3x with someone you are forever linked to them." She was very blindsided by my remark, like, where and how did my very young son find this out? (it took four more years for her relationship to end with the monster)