The Widower: Understanding the man who lost his wife

#widower #widow #griefrecovery

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[Wookinpanub]

I can listen to this guys voice all day.
So calming and compassionate.

Yeah I lost my Beautiful wife 2 weeks ago after a 2 year battle with colon cancer.

My wife and I planned pretty well and we talked about the future and prepared for her passing.

I miss her so much and usually get choked up the most when I think of how sad the other people that loved her are grieving her death, especially our young grandchildren that we recently adopted.
Before my Wifes death she kept telling me that she wanted me to be happy and to please re marry.
She even had a Woman picked out for me.
A coworker of hers who’s cheating Husband did her wrong.
At first the thought of that offended me and I felt so sad for my wife that she was thinking of me like this but that was my Wife, always worried about everyone else.
Now that my Wife is gone and I had no choice but to accept reality I now feel myself really wanting female intimacy just as you described.
That woman in paticular came iver our house to drop some things off and she gave me a big hug for longer than I thought was necessary but I almost feel guilty because I really liked it.
Shes very attractive and very sweet.
I find myself thinking about her alot and even mentioned the story to my Daughters who did not like that idea at all…lol.
Im not even sure if this Woman would even be interested in me but I cant quit thinking about her and I feel so guilty about it and feel that its hit fair to her that Im having thoughts about her like that.
I wasnt able to have much intimacy at all with my Wife while taking care of her for 2 years due to her pain and issues from surgery so I am definitely missing the feminine touch of a woman.

I also have depressing thoughts like no woman will want a man with issues from grieving a lifelong partner now deceased that has two grade school aged kids and four adult children, is over 50 and blah blah blah.
Lots of thoughts going through my head.
I almost feel like calling that Woman but also dont want to make a fool out of myself if she rejects me.
She owns a small store so I may take the kids there one day just to say hi.
Jeez …I cant believe I’m actually talking about dating again.

[barbprice]

I married a widower, and now I am a widow. Looking back I am extremely grateful that I was the person he chose to live the rest of his life with. It humbles me to know I was the one he wanted to fill that feminine void in his life..

[BillyBobBeauBenson]

I'm 31 years old and I lost my wife of 4 years very suddenly 10 days ago. We were only together for 7 1/2 years, but she was my everything and I feel so lost without her. I can't believe how many points this man made that were completely spot on. It feels like he's the first person I've heard talk about a man's grief who actually gets it.

[lindabrunsch]

My daughter passed away 2 months ago at 40. My poor son in law is devastated. I pray that he finds someone to love him as he deserves. He is a wonderful kind loving man.

[T-ej]

Lost my wife of 53 years this past Febuary. Thanks for understanding & sharing, i tell her how much i miss her vocally every day.

[MrRonnieCaldwell]

This guy hit the nail on the head! Lost my wife of 36 years 7 months ago. He knows exactly what I’m going through. Thx

[jamesdooling]

I'm 46, soon to be 47, I was married once for 5 years and left a widower. Now, I've been married again going on 21 years. This time, a stroke has intervened. It's slow and terminal. I will be a widower twice before I'm 50. I'm done with relationships after this. I'm trying my best to connect and learn and listen before it's too late. But, I go into the shower or closet and cry all the time. It's not the sex. I can live without it forever. Sometimes I crawl into the hospital bed here in my living room. Just to be with my love.

[kennethdanner]

George, thank you for your talk today. I lost my wife of 45 years on August 2019. We were married two months before graduating high school. She was a strong woman and supported a career military man. I came home from work to find her face first on the floor. We heal, we grow and we learn to live differently. Though talks like yours are necessary they can nearly take you back to that day. I enjoyed being married I hope to honor my precious live by marrying again some day. Again, thank you.

[randomessentialproductions]

My friend is a widower. He does well and is focused on work, friends, and family. However if you pay close attention to him you can see that deep down he still feels a bit lost. I feel like that will never go away for him. I know he has regrets that he never talks about. A great man. I can just tell he is still hurting. Great video.

[steveboyd]

Widowed 6 months ago. Married 38 years. For lack of a better phrase, you are so dead on. You have gained my respect.

[KarlBrkr]

Thank you. I just lost me wife of 25 years to leukemia yesterday at the age of 50. You told the truth 100%. I wanted to kiss her picture but thought it was weird. My heart hurts so much. Thank you.

[LauraSchendel-koqk]

I highly suggest that a widower date a widow and visa versa. They understand each other. They understand that you don’t stop loving someone just because they died. Neither is threatened by the other’s lost spouse. And it takes a level of understanding and maturity to know that each of them would still be married to their spouse, had they not died. Together they can pour over photographs and share memories and move forward, honoring each other’s lost love. They heal each other.

[purplehippy]

This was wonderful and very helpful. I am dating a childhood boyfriend who has lost his wife after a long marriage and long illness. He and I went on a date and had a small crush over 45 years ago. Both of our lives both have been full separately with other marriages, children and careers. Meeting again now is a sweet time for us. I feel like I am handling him with a kid glove as he steps out of his darkness. Your piece was spot on to what is going on with us. He says exactly what you mentioned...he wants intimacy and the healing soft energy. It has been a privilege to have this human experience with him. Thank you for your sharing.

[msyuan]

I’ve been watching videos about grief and recovery pretty much since my wife passed away in February of 2023. We met as freshmen in college and had been together for 50 years. No other video, or even the words of my grief counselor, resonated with me as much as this video. It’s been a great comfort. Thank you.

[georgecogswellBitz]

Hi my name is George Iam 45 yrs old. I lost my Beautiful wife of 25 yrs, 1 month ago and it’s killing me. I want to thank you for your video. Your a breath of fresh air with the words you have given.

[Beardedfurflinger]

Awesome insight, as a widower of a 26 year marriage, I can relate to your information & the pain of building a life together, then in a 1/2 hour all that's gone & at 60 + years of age, you're left to rebuild a shattered life, this pain is 1 no man should go through but sadly age & death we cannot control or choose, my thanks to you for the insight

[mikepowell]

George, this video hit my heart. I have lost two wives. My first love was 28 when she passed away under going a surgical procedure. We were married for a short 10 years and we had 4 children one of which was 1 month old when she passed away. So much more I would like to say about this daughter of God. I started dating early but found a woman that loved children and me. She also had 4 little children and was divorced which is another story. But we beat the odds and were married for almost 41 years. She passed away from cancer. I got 3 years more than the doctors guessed. We did have talks about love and dating. She wanted me to be happy and to find someone for me. I know this may sound selfish but she knew that I need the tender love of a woman. She even mentioned names but we laughed about this. I still love both of my wives. Each of which were very different. I am moving forward and I am like the person you noted that needs the woman just to be there even though I do want more some day. Thanks for your thoughts. They are spot on.

[thereport]

May 19, 2023 I suddenly lost my wife and soul mate of 39 years shortly after our anniversary.She had a career in long term care nursing as a CNA.She cared for and comforted many including the terminally ill.We were blessed with a daughter and are here for each other yet it is so lonely without her.She was so caring for people and pet kitties as well.A great mother and grand mother of a one year old boy.A beautiful soul and my best friend I will love her forever as I told her 39 years ago.We will meet again my love.

[mikehardy]

Thank you for this video. I lost my wife in May of this year. To say that I'm crushed is an understatement. Nevertheless, this video was what I needed to hear. Healing and grieving daily. However, gaining bits of clarity as well. She was the best...

Thanks again.

[mv-kqid]

Widower of 3 years, married 36 years, my wife passed away after a 4 year battle with Lou Gehrig’s disease, ALS, it’s been very tough on me, I wasn’t her caregiver, I was her husband and it was a privilege to love my wife and to take care of her the last 2 years.The look in her eyes the night she passed away when she told me she loved me, that I was a great man and husband, and I believe she knew she was passing away that night and woke me up to tell me good bye. Please know that anyone that has lost a partner in life can get through it, please be kind to yourself, keep busy, and live your life so your spouse would be proud of you. God bless