You Should Submit to Your Spouse

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson is asked why the submission of a woman to a man in marriage is now societally repulsive. Peterson explains that the word itself, "submission," is often likened to slavery and other adverse terms, which leads to rather crude arguments both for and against its use. That said, the best marital partnership and the axiomatic ideals therein should not be seen as repulsive, and so we still have a societal problem, regardless of the descriptor used.

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[MeeCee]

"Hey Jordan, what do you want for breakfast?"
"Well, first we need to define breakfast...."
lol, love this man 😂❤😂

[_tndn]

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" The responsibility on the man has a lot of gravity as well. Men are supposed to be self-sacrificial in regards to their wife in the same way Christ died on the cross for the Church. The man's role in this relationship is no joke.

[bethanyboothe]

I am a married Christian woman (7 years) and grew up in church where submission was taught. I’ve always wondered if I’m “doing it right” as I feel like an equal collaborative partner in my marriage which is not necessarily how I’ve heard submission described from the pulpit.
I really resonate with the “beneficial adversary” term because my relationship with my husband has always been one of mutual, respectful challenge toward one another.
He’s not a demanding man and serves me every single day! Our relationship is great, so maybe we’re doing marriage right and submission doesn’t feel hard when you have loving counterpart.

If anything I feel we both at various times choose to lose (or submit) in the moment so that the relationship can win, therefore even in our “losing” we still win.

[ayonalovecoaching]

My man has my best interest at heart. Often more so than what I would do for myself. He looks after us very well. I am grateful every night just to hear him breath beside me.

[Tom-tkdu]

My late wife and I had what I would consider a perfect marriage, as good as one could ever hope for in life. There were three parties to our marriage...she, me and "WE". We were each our own selves, but everything we did was in the service of the joint WE, which always benefited the both of us equally. It all came very naturally..we didn't really try to analyze it. It was basically what Jordan is talking about, but perhaps my choice of words is not as articulate as Jordan's. It's a remarkable thing, if you're fortunate enough to ever find yourself in such a relationship.

[AwokenEntertainment]

the submission of maturity - not doing today what will damage you and your partner tomorrow in pursuit of achieving higher goals together

[brittanynovais]

I submit to my husband because he loves me well. I submit to my husband because I trust him with my very life. I believe in the depths of my soul that my husband will always choose what benefits our family, which in turn benefits me. He is provider, protector, partner, lover…. And he takes all of these roles seriously. He takes great pride in his family, and I in him. My submissiveness has never left me lacking.

[stoneyascension]

I must agree that this is one of the best understandings of submission in a marriage I've come across after going through theological training while working as a church pastor, now retired, and 51 years of marriage. JP, his wife, and their children are wonderful. A true blessing in a time of need for our world. The flaws of the family are what make them so real. There are no perfect people; we are all flawed in some way. What I like about JP and his family is that you get exactly what you see. There is no pretense of being perfect by them. There was only one perfect man, and he was crucified on a Roman cross.

[stephenparker]

You have just explained something that I have always known but not fully understood in a technical sense.
I've always thought that I was punching above my weight with my partner, but when asked she would say it was the other way around, but we both agree that being together makes us both better than we were as an individual. We have been together for 25 years since our late teens. My only real worry in life is coping with the loss of her not being around any longer but that is all part of the journey of life I suppose.

[boijaden]

In a relationship you both communicate and cooperate because you both want the relationship to be healthy and last as long as possible. Both parties should be willing to change themselves in service of the relationship. With good communication, you can understand what the other person is annoyed about, for example, and you can try your best to not do that thing.

[Razear]

When you frame it as "submission, " I think most people think that it makes one party subordinate to the other. Compound that with modern day progressivism and you'll understand why it's easily dismissed. Submitting to your partner is mistakenly perceived as elevating one person at the expense of the other and having your partner be inferior. It's a semantic issue more so than one of values.

[staynalive]

I wish this “beneficial adversary” concept would be taught far and wide. It takes love to want to put it into practice.

[clifcody]

"Each of you should jointly submit to the spirit that makes your relationship redemptive and dynamic" (10:20)

Brilliant

[callenday]

The world ALWAYS leaves out the scriptures where men are commanded to love their wives even to die for them. And the scripture that says the wife's body belongs to the man AND the man's body belongs to the wife... that they have authority over one another. It's not an imbalanced relationship at all as the world constantly tries to shove down everyone's throats off that single verse about submission.

[protospateras]

Simple said: We are all slaves to the duty of the most important. The family. And then be one with other familys for Love, Careness and Survival.

[Nat-lgks]

A friend of mine takes the idea of submission far too far. His poor wife doesnt even get asked her opinion as he believes God wants him to make all decisions.

[jcsguitar]

Nice to see that there are those that still see value in the lifelong union of a man and woman in a marriage.

[keithmlarsen]

This is why any marriage is a gamble. For peace one must submit to the will of another and hope they feel inclined to do the same a decent percentage of the time.

[kristopherdecker]

People leave out the part where the Bible says submit yourselves one to the other. Ephesians 5: 21-25 I suggest that when people have a problem they read the whole thing, not just pick and choose. Verse 25 says love your wives like Christ loves the church. That means you dang well give yourself for her until there is nothing left when she has need, and then that also extends to your children.

[tomaszpaz]

There are two quotes about the marriage that I really like and I truly think they are wise and in some way helpful. Perhaps you'll like them aswel.

1. "Love is not a feeling. It's a choice" - if you truly want your marriage/relationship to be healthy, well-organised and fruitful then you literally have to make a choice to love someone. It's not a wild feeling you can't control. A mature love is a way of life you both agreed upon and you both maintain. At least this is how I understand it.

2. "In relationship all the duties should not be divided 50/50. They should be divided 60/40, but both sides should try to be the 60% part" - this one is simple and lovely :)