You’re Hesitant To Talk About Marriage | {THE AND} Joy & Ivan

Joy (she/her) and Ivan (he/him) have been together for three years, after first connecting on a dating app. Their relationship began long-distance, which pushed them to build a strong foundation of trust and open communication. Marriage is a tricky subject for them—while it's something they both dream about, it also brings challenges. For Ivan, certain cultural traditions make the conversation complex, while Joy’s career adds another layer of uncertainty. Still, they share a deep excitement about building a future together, including starting a family. Through their love, they’ve found creative and beautiful ways to express appreciation for each other, strengthening not just their romance but also their friendship. Playfulness is at the heart of their connection—they bring out each other’s inner child while striving to balance their personal lives with their relationship.

As we explore new perspectives we invite you to step into the emotional space of connection and experience the deeper lessons that shared experiences can afford humanity. To everyone who has participated openly and vulnerably in our project - we appreciate what you have shared with us and hope others do as well.

Follow their story here:

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR | Topaz Adizes
LINE PRODUCER | Nicolás Lejtreger
PRODUCTION ASSISTANT | Augustin Hardy
DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY | Taylor Camarot
CAMERA ASSISTANT | Jess Averbeck
SOUND OPERATOR | Carla Geronimi
BTS PHOTOGRAPHER | Nacho Rodríguez
EDITOR | Samanta Barbosa
WITH THE PARTICIPATION OF | Joy & Ivan

Chapters:
0:00 Intro - Shooting my shot
1:31 You bring out the kid in me
3:28 Me traveling for work
6:52 You’re hesitant to talk about marriage
10:54 I knew I loved you in that moment
13:02 Your voice makes me feel safe
14:34 I don’t want to get bored of you
16:14 Outro - Shop {THE AND} Couples!

You’re Hesitant To Talk About Marriage | {THE AND} Joy & Ivan
#couple #couplegoals #love #marriage

[helene]

He's hesitant about marriage and she's valuing building a family / life with him at the expense of her career. PLEASE my honey, keep working towards your career goals and dreams!! A relationship should never EVER hinder that. He seems like a good guy, however, I don't wanna see your light be dimmed, you are so beautiful and driven, it even shines through the screen! - the right man will value that and encourage that drive to see your dreams through.

[lisagriffin]

Sometimes it's not that they're hesitant to get married, it's that they're hesitant to marry you. I felt like the way he explained it sounded like he used his culture as a blanket answer to hide the real reason. It could be a part of the reason.... but not the real reason

[harmonyz]

I don't think he is being completely honest about the reasons around his marriage hesistancy. Especially because he is a man who gets to choose his wife. He just doesn't believe in his union enough to be bold and clear to his family about his choice.

[amonique]

I've just started watching, but I had to stop and say, WOW, she is so

[LorettaJRentas]

amazing video. I’m in such deep pain right now, lost in the sweet memories of our time together. Every moment we shared fills my heart, and all I long for is his return even though I’m not sure how to make that happen.

[malkiawaalego]

Subtext: he is likely being pressured to find a “nice Cameroonian girl”, preferably from his ethnic group to marry.
African men are VERY persistent. If he had wanted to marry this woman, he would have found a way to make it happen while getting his family on board. He seems to be hiding behind “culture & tradition.“ This seems like best friends in a non traditional relationship, with the woman being the leader and the man coming from a patriarchal background.

[abearhin]

I had to come to the comments. I'm glad I'm not the only one seeing this. Coming from an African man he his going to string you along and finally tell you he was pressured to choose someone from his culture. Please don't waste precious years with him. ...

[nosiphopakamile]

Sometimes we don't listen to hear. The bubble is too big. We get hurt and are shocked. He clearly said I will not select a bride I will respect my culture and let my parents pick for me.

[heysimonecarlene]

Joy is a national treasure and I hope she is treated as such. ❤

[LittleQween]

WOW...very grounding and supportive of each other. You don't always find that safety in relationships anymore. They are actually listening to each other. ❤❤

[sandi]

He’s hesitant about marriage. Sister run

[girlmellaceus]

Like someone said, they would make great friends only. Sometimes it's just not a match for marriage... especially at 3 years..?! Both seem like great people. 💖💖💖💖💖💖
All the best to them

[robertdais]

At fiest she rarely let's him finish a full sentence or his own thoughts. She uses humor to interrupt his thoughts but they seem to be a loving couple. I wish them well & thx for sharing this intimate moment with us.

[titititi]

Sis you seem to be more into him and invested than he is into you. Pray first before you go into marriage with him

[goldengilmaky]

She is truly a rare gem; commit to her, and you’ll find the world standing behind you.

[jennifertran]

I might be wrong, but it feels like he has a lot of love for her. She has a big bright aura and he seems to greatly enjoy the safety and warmth it brings him. But he might not be in love with her. Deep down she knows this.

[christabelnonyelum]

He is not hesitant to marry. Henis hesitant to marry You. Men know what they want within months. In a case where there isnt any financial drawbacks and they are hesitant, just knownthey don't really want to marry you.

[nailahdawkins]

I want to see how these 2 are in 3 years. If they get married, if he opens up and is himself fully emotionally. I was lost at the Cameroonian traditional arrangement of marriage topic and was wondering if he wants his parents involvement? Wouldn't he also need to propose the American way? Honestly his body language of having his head cocked to the opposite side of her and barely expressing I-love-you's was telling. He needs to be head over heels for her and I see the shift where she's doing the bulk of it currently.

Hopefully Joy is gonna be his Mrs. Right instead of his Ms. Right Now 💯!

[paulinebricks]

Thank you for this video, though it brings up painful memories. At first i was with an abusive husband for 13 years of my life, then i left when i couldn't bear it any longer, bear in mind i only stayed that long because of our kids. After two years of being single, i met the love of my life, and we had a fantastic first 5 months, then my PTSD kicked in and I did a lot of things because i wasn't properly healed, and he left me. I realize now and i feel so empty and lonely inside. I love him

[mm]

She’s so beautiful and he’s so beautiful. Loving this Black love🖤