The Narcissists' Code 424- Narcissists will hold onto grudges and rejection forever

On today's episode we talk about why Narcissists will hold onto grudges and rejection forever.

Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.

The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.

You can find me on -

Click the BEACON up top for direct links. Thank you so much and lets HEAL together

[kylaren]

The grudges that a narcissist hold are petty most times as well. They don’t even be serious grudges that an adult would hold. Doesn’t make sense.

[Anna-gzsh]

Been following you for a while now, so proud of you....Lee, let it go. You are better . I only wish my husband would be less vengeful. We went to a party, my family's. It was an important party.i was godmother to my niece. My husband took 21 pictures and none of them had me in any of them . Not even one picture with my boys. It hurt me so much. I felt and feel so cancelled. I asked him why and what I did wrong? He actually told me he just didn't want me in any pictures. Blamed me for something I'm still not clear on. They were important pictures. He was invited to eat at my family's house. They were amazing with him even after knowing what he has done to me over the years. They accepted him for me. And look at what he did. Cruel.
Just yesterday, he asked for three tickets taking my children with him to a park festival. He purposely told me, that he didn't ask for a forth ticket because he didn't want me there. He sent pictures to one of my sister right in front of me. He didn't share or think to send them to me. It was on purpose. I did nothing. Sometimes he has an evil look in his face. He knows what he is doing and he loves hurting me. Why?

[NutriTalkInspiration]

My wife holds a grudge about everything I say and do if she doesn't like it. It can be any small thing, if I forget to take the trash out once out of 100 times, or if I ask her to be more considerate of how she handles our children. She holds it all in then made that her reason for not wanting to be intimate with me (which was a lie). Now, I have chosen to go "No CONTACT" she still thinks that I'm naive of how she makes moves. I ignore her everyday and take care of my kids.

[liljerseygirl]

I have a female narcissist right now who won't leave me alone. I have never said one bad word about her or to her in over 30 years I thought i knew her. Only to find out she was chasing my boyfriends, looking for my exs after we broke up and sleeping with them, putting me down, and most recently calling members of my family and friends on FB and telling them lies. Some have called me to tell me, thats how I found out. I've told her to leave me alone, leave my friends and family alone. She is focused on hurting me and I can't understand why. I told her I will go to the police if she doesn't stop and she went crazy texting me terrible things. I have 47 texts from her within just minutes ranting saying cruel things. I may have no choice to go to the police and show them the texts and voice mail. 😐

[beth]

Thank you for the video Lee. This is my ex he’s an abusive narcissist. He beat me and did jail time and some how that’s my fault and it’s been 8 years and he still wants vengeance on me.

[lamentate]

I went no contact with a woman I suspect was a narc back in April. She kept trying to get back into my life using different tricks, but I wouldn't respond. Then we met in person at a function (she knew I was going to be there), bought me a present and played games with me. She then started messaging me days later hoping I would be receptive. No love bombing, just pretending to want to have an ordinary conversation, trying to prove she no longer had 'feelings'. Anyway, I ignored then days later claiming she had done nothing wrong and I was being cruel to her, told me the silence was deafening and demanded that I respond to her etc. I ignored, then she came back later that night and still wanted to know why I was ignoring her. Then she said take care and that no more messages will be sent. She then deleted me on social media.

I guess this is a 'discard', but in reality, it was a response to being given the silent treatment for so long. Too much rejection.

[katiepayne]

It's so true. My mom holds stuff against my dad from 30 years ago - stuff he has changed on!! But that one time he rejected her lives on in her, forever brought up whenever she feels the need. 🙄

[lisagrewing]

Wow!! Great to know this info!! I was hoping the ex would leave me alone. This explains why he keeps riding a bicycle by my new house, walking a dog by my new house, sitting on a park bench with his dog outside the court house when I came out... Thank you much for enlightenment!!

[raniyuna]

That's true...some people hold grudges longer than some others but narcissist is super holder.🙏🏻 But isn't it making life worse for them than for others?

[eugeniakouts]

"I understand that....mostly!" Hahahaha! I have BPD, but I totally get the feeling of having understood something, but struggling to manage it!

[AlastorTheNPDemon]

I still have invasive thoughts of past detractors that keep me up at night, wracking my nerves with pain. I don't hold on to grudges like they are some kind of magical token that brings me good luck, but rather they slap me upside the head at the most random times and eat away at me like some kind of necrotic venom, so to say that we "hold on" to grudges is... not entirely the most accurate phrasing here.

All this being said, this issue of involuntary grudges is not exclusive to narcissists, as it is related to post-traumatic stress, but I'll grant you that attributing these pains to external lookalikes is an element of narcissism.

[erynd]

They don’t wanna do that. I’m not the one.

[troysimmons]

My narc ex held an extremely bitter grudge against me because I tried to insist that he use my dog's proper name instead of a name he made up.
I agreed to take care of his brother's dogs for awhile, (ended up being 20 months), and one of them had the same name as my dog. He couldn't understand why I felt it was an insult to me, my house, and my dog, to change my dog's name. I was called petty, selfish, and mean. Said he would never forgive me or forget it!

[Canaday]

The malignant narcissist alcoholic I divorced yelled his threat out all the time that he holds grudges forever and seeks his vengeance on unassuming innocent victims he felt slighted by.

[bellezanegra]

This explains why whenever there is a disagreement, they bring up every single slight

[lozannevanniekerk]

Picking on someone clearly means that she is unhappy with herself within. Children if your reading this high school kids those that have phones . Be the blessing in your school be that guy that girl to lift others be the blessing not the bully. Be the rolemodel to others by showing kindness and adding value. I see it as the BB stands for BLESSINGS NOT BULLIES . The BBB is even better that one friend who looks out for you sees the best in you values you lift each other. Always waiting for you always there for you. Going the extra mile to make things special there when your down and also happy for you building you up. The one you can laugh with yet connect with. Can always count on each other feel the warmth and love the BBB best friends not bullies and blessings for life.🤗

[godsfavor]

so true!!! They live and feed on grudges! Ask my brother 😒 Bravo 👏🏾 Lee for walking away. You’re growing 🥰
Ugly She’s nuts 😝 I hope she’s watching now!!

[greg_or_e]

I don't know why I bother even talking to my narcissist .if you haven't guessed it's my mother. I try to tell her about grandchild's illness and every sentence gets turned back to "her". Dosent give a shit about anyone else .just pretends., don't know why I bother. Yup whole life has been revenge on me.
I'm a sucker. About Once a month .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE 🎁 !!!!

Thank you.🙏

[happypotential]

Thank you, Lee!🌞 Great video! But how to get rid of such people? Please, make a video about what to do in case such people threaten, stalk etc. No contact? Calling police? Restraining order? It doesn't always work. So, what to do in the most difficult cases? Please, make a video

[KL-vnbw]

you often say if there are questions: 1. what does the thief narc do with the things he has stolen? 2. if the narc is always looking for revenge for me...does he hold it for everyone of his exes (he's been left before-by someone just leaving when he wasn't home)so - really? 3. why do narcs lie about the past? 4. I don't believe losing me is the narc's karma- reasoning..he cheated and lied, and stole, and destroyed my property and created and brought the drama. The only thing that has stopped him is his new baby and camera's all over my home. so where is the karma in that?