The journey through loss and grief | Jason B. Rosenthal

In her brutally honest, ironically funny and widely read meditation on death, "You May Want to Marry My Husband," the late author and filmmaker Amy Krouse Rosenthal gave her husband Jason very public permission to move on and find happiness. A year after her death, Jason offers candid insights on the often excruciating process of moving through and with loss -- as well as some quiet wisdom for anyone else experiencing life-changing grief.

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[Allaboutdualipa]

Shout-out to all those who have lost someone special & still struggle to live their life without them. You are strong & YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH

[npenick]

My wife of 20 years Kim unexpectedly died on 1/5/24. That was 3 weeks ago tonight. She said that she was feeling a little tired and was going to take a nap in her recliner. She had been fighting a little cold, nothing out of the ordinary. I got her set up with a glass of water and her new Christmas blanket and took our severely autistic son into the other room so that she could rest. When I went back to check on her a couple of hours later her lips were white. She was gone at 52 years old.

When he described carrying his wife's lifeless body and how those images would never leave him it was like a punch to the gut. I picked my wife up out of her recliner and put her on the floor so that I could try CPR while waiting for the ambulance. Those are images and tactile memories that nobody should have. She was clearly gone and must have died within minutes of sitting in her chair. So much of that night is hazy or not even there, but I can see, hear and feel every second of those few minutes.

We did have some talks a few years earlier when we had a health scare, mainly about the care of our son in case something happened to us. We did talk about our preferred disposition of our bodies. We never really thought about one of us outliving the other, it was more about who would watch over our son if we both were in a car crash or got hit by a bus. I wish we had thought to talk more deeply about what to do if only one of us died. Even if we had that talk I think we would have assumed that the husband dies first, over 80% of the time that's the way it is.

I had experienced pets and distant relatives passing and thought I knew what grief was. I was very wrong. Those were paper cuts. Grief for your spouse is a gushing hemorrhage that doesn't stop. Grief sucks more than anything I've experienced before. I was a little wild in my youth and had numerous broken bones, burst appendix, multiple surgeries, probably a couple of months in total in the hospital for various reasons but I've never felt wounded like this before.

Kim would kick me where it counts if I didn't pull it together and make a good life for our son. Major mama bear with a special needs son. So that's what I'm trying to do. Joined a grief group, reading books about the loss of a spouse, watching vids like this and being open about it with everyone. Trying to face it, experience it and learn to live. Not a fun process. My wife had a horrible memory, we always teased her about being like the fish Dory in Finding Nemo. Ever since she died between the waves of emotions I just keep telling myself 'just keep swimming, just keep swimming', it's almost like I can hear it in Kim's voice.

Sorry for the long post, it's supposed to be therapeutic to let it out, better to do it in places like this than to burn out a friend with the constant babbling.

[kunalsarkar]

I never want to be born as a human again, this pain of loss is too much

[mildredwasike]

Lost my husband close to three years ago to Colon cancer .It's unbearable pain that has no name ....He gave me permission to move forward through grief .I hope to see a new day filled with joy again .

[sarahok]

How strong must one be to not cry throughout this entire talk .

[aydinvaran]

I lost my dad two years ago and this is his youtube account. I don't want to delete his account, I don't want to delete him from anywhere.

[PazLeBon]

grief, the price of love. I can accept that

[NaturallyLatrice]

I lost my dad and the grieving process was a struggle. Some times I’m ok and can smile and laugh at memories and other times the pain and anxiety is overwhelming. My process has been realizing that it’s ok to be sad and cry. Those emotions are ok and perfectly fine because someone you love is gone. I’ve learned to not mix sadness with fear. It took me a long time to stop having panic attacks. Through my faith and prayer and actually getting in touch with what emotions I’m feeling I’ve began to finally heal. It’s ok to be sad. Don’t fear the sadness. Let yourself feel it and then remember that sadness does not equal fear and panic. Sadness makes sense because your loved one is gone. I lost my grandmother after that and I just lost my Aunt to cancer a week ago. I’m sad but also ok because I’ve learned how to let myself feel what’s necessary and put away the other emotions that become irrational.

[CaptainNylon]

I just lost my father yesterday. Then this video appears in a pop-up notification. Makes you wonder.

[deebefree]

At 8:55 when he says "I really am sad a lot of the time" you really feel that.

I've heard it said before that grief is the price we pay for love. Sending positive vibes to anyone reading this and needing this video. Thanks Jason for this talk.

[mihaicostescu]

Just lost my mom…2 days ago, no sign…she just passed in her sleep, one month before her birthday…she was, almost, 58…I miss her with all my being, every cell and every atom in my body is crying, desperately… No more: “ good morning” on WhatsApp, or phone calls, no more “I love you” or hugs… God help me…I miss her so bad, it hurts so much… Tomorrow, me and my father will bury her…Please say a prayer for her! I MISS YOU MOMMY !

[BssRWass]

It really hit me hard when he went into the at-home hospice care. I too have vivid memories of watching over my mother in her remaining months after being diagnosed with stage IV brain cancer. I held her hand as she passed, whispering into her ear "It's OK Mom, you don't have to hold on any longer. I love you" (she was moaning and writhing in pain after surviving 2 years). I am happy to have had this chance for closure though. For the longest time, I continued on telling myself to do what would have made her proud (I was 21 when she passed). This worked, although I had the greatest relief and freeing moment of my life once I finally realized that I was doing what I, myself, wanted to do. For those out there who've lost loved ones; keep pushing, and things will get better. It doesn't, however, mean you need to forget their warm smile.

[staytune]

I lost my Mom in 6th August 2018 suddenly due to stroke while having dinner.
I feel so depressed and angry . Everyday is a struggle for me . Her dying scene keeps repeating in my mind every minute. I feel guilty as well as regret. Keeps myself blaming and thinking what could I have done to save her. Now my world is so empty. I don't feel like doing anything at all.I don't think I will be happy again.
My mom was the apple of my eye. Mom, I miss you a lot.

[ferencrupeck]

I never had the chance to say goodbye to my partner. I literally got up one morning and just found him gone. His eyes were still closed shut and it was just like someone had just switched him off, like a table lamp or something. How can you possibly prepare yourself for such an event. Now, nearly 18 months later I still feel at times like I am in shock. It hurts so much that we didn’t get to say goodbye or have important conversations. You are right, we all need to have those difficult conversations but so often we chose not to. I try to keep reminding myself that at least it was very quick and he didn’t suffer emotional or physical pain. Still, I would have liked to have uttered one last “I love you” and “thanks for being the best partner ever”. It is so hard, I cry almost every day and I still miss him dreadfully. It is like walking through treacle trying to go forward. It feels like we were parted too soon, it is so awful to be the one left behind.

[lindybean]

I lost my fiance June 21st, 2019 in our home to a massive heart attack. I was performing cpr on him. I will never forget that morning. I'm so sorry for your loss. You don't move on. You move through it. These last 11 months has been the worst ever in my life. How do I move in to my new life with the grace and eloquence you have?

[BulentMr]

My wife died 12 days ago, i cant function, i have no goals and quiet frankly i don’t see the point of life .lung cancer tore her apart .she never smoked and we fought with all our strength .in the end pneumonia got her ....i mean com-on all that fighting, i was her care taker . I am beaten and lost ...

[TiborRoussou]

Hard for me to watch. I lost Wendy more than 12 years ago. She spent all but the last 14 hours at home. Half of me died that day; half of her dwells within me today.

[shira]

I lost my Dad last October... I have never accepted him leaving and it kills me everyday. He was my rock and his upcoming birthday is destroying me. I never had the chance to say goodbye. I miss him so bad... I wish I had a day with him just to talk... I miss you Daddy. I love you.

[timididigha]

I lost my kids three weeks ago, 23rd June 2018 and at least ten people sent me this video to watch. Thank you for sharing

[charleswilson]

Lost my mom Xmas day 1972, was just ten. Dad went April, 1973 a week after I was 11. Lost hurts and you never totally get over it but you can make it better. I found helping others was a boost for me.