men* date OUT of their league then ruin women's lives [the paradoxical cycle]

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In this episode, Elle explores talks about women putting themselves first, particularly in relationships with men. She touches on the paradoxical cycle of men pursuing women out of their league, bringing the women down to their league, then repeating the cycle with the next woman. The discussion emphasizes the importance of not allowing toxic relationships to derail personal goals, ambitions, and mental health. The podcast also addresses societal expectations of women, the idea of dating 'out of your league', and the concept of being 'selfish' as a woman. Elle explains that when she started putting herself first, her relationships, career, and personal life improved significantly. The podcast concludes with a strong message for women to not compromise their education, goals, or personal development for a relationship.

[laylarahman]

But when they date the out-of-league girl, , they'll make sure they let the girl know she ain't all that.

[alesiethedon]

Lol, this guy I was dating wanted me to drop out of uni 3 weeks before graduation. He asked me if I was going to choose education over love, and I said yes

[amDayDreamer]

One of my ex boyfriend told me if I love him, I would quit school. He immediately became unattractive and I dumped him.

[Meta.Empress]

It's so messed up to be called "selfish" when you're just taking responsibility for your own life.

[biscuit_fairy]

18:00 This scenario is very true.
I live in south Asia, and lately the women in our country are pursuing higher education and career. This has resulted in a lot of angry people coming online and saying that men can't find someone to marry anymore since the higher educated woman doesn't want to become a housewife. But then the community of women replied that men who want a housewife have the option marry a poor underprivileged girl from the village and give her a better life and cherish her like a queen, but it led those people to be even more angry.
You see they do not want a girl who has no education, but at the same time they can not accept the fact that highly educated won't sacrifice their career. They want an educated woman who will give up her dreams and ambitions.

[scorpionbraid]

“I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.” George Bernard Shaw.

[c.v.]

My sister once told me that “if you look at this person and think there’s a possibility that you’d be embarrassed to one day say ‘yeah that’s my ex’ or ‘I can’t believe I let them do that to me, they weren’t even that cute’, then don’t date them.” Love her ❤

[artemisia]

My grandpa was orphaned at 2yo. His inheritance was stolen by family members and he grew up really poor. He valued education above everything, and he told his daughters that their university degrees would be the inheritance he would leave them. “Property can be stolen, knowledge is yours forever”, was his saying.
He was an amazing man, and I won’t settle for anyone less amazing than him.

[manangupta]

My dad paid for my mom's fifth and final degree, helped her compile her thesis, always showed support to her during and after all this time so I don't expect anything less. And today, after almost 20 years of their marriage he is the one who majorly paid for my degree and schooling. You aren't just choosing a man, you are choosing your future and your future kid's life foundation so choose wisely ladies!

[IngridLennon-npds]

Men will only support a woman’s goals as long as they don’t have to compromise anything at all. I became the primary parent, did all the house work, let this man have his free time to focus on his work and business, all for him to not feel appreciated enough while I was feeling physically and emotionally worse. When I voiced it, I’m ungrateful because he’s the provider. They don’t see a woman’s unpaid labor as anything but expected that all woman naturally do.

[LivelyTriceratops]

My ex when I said I wanted to go back to college: "You can't be better than me"

[dr_ltorres]

My former husband wanted me to quit my PhD program because I wasn’t as available to him as before. He was really mad. So, we divorced. I then finished my degree, had a career making more money than he ever did and was happy. Him, not so much. He still tells me that he was sorry years later.

[polydactylblackcat]

Omg... one of my college friends is a man*. He was complaining about wanting a wife (he made no mention of wanting a gf first. Skipped straight to wife), but then also complained about having to spend money on said wife and dates despite being an ENGINEER FOR BOEING and couldn't name ONE SINGLE THING he wanted in a wife beyond "hot bod". I was frank with him and told him no woman who knows her worth would ever in a million years think of settling down with him unless he made some HUGE attitude changes towards women.

[dmc]

An education is yours for life. It's can't leave you, cheat on you, hurt you or steal from you. Time spent on education is a better investment.

[DeluluIsTheSolulu]

Girl, ladies, listen to Elle. Seriously. I'm a 34 year old woman and I've lived through some eye-opening and life changing events. I've survived abusive relationships. DO. NOT. GIVE. UP. YOUR. STUDIES. FOR. A. MAN. Do not give up your grind or job or apartment or goals FOR A MAN. Focus on yourself FIRST. Get that skincare routine going, excel in your studies, secure your degree, thrive in your job/career, eat your veggies, stay hydrated, go to the gym, hang out with your girl friends, make time for yourself, pet all of the dogs, and go to therapy. I'm not kidding. I want you all to THRIVE.

[Lenas.memoir]

When I was 17/18 years old, my ex told me that If I truly loved him, I should quit my place at my dream university which is one of the top universities in the world so I could wait for him to retake his exams. He didn't do well in his exams and him and his whole family blamed me for this. This shocked me because he saw me bust my ass for months and months and knew I was skipping meals and staying up late for these exams. He also made results day absolute hell for me - essentially punishing me for doing well. The breakup was so messy - he was obsessive, possessive and would stalk me. He would send me long emails (academic paper long) of why he was happier without me and why I "wasn't all that". When I blocked his email, he made another.

I'm 23 now and thriving, but it took me 7 years to heal from the emotional abuse.

[fionafox]

Even men in your own family can be your ops. My own Father tried to get me to quit college.
Don’t let anyone try to clip your wings!

[SassyStrawberry]

Womens podcast: put yourself first. love yourself.
Mens podcast: here is how to manipulate women and why its okay to cheat

[lyndsay._.x]

Was talking to a guy for three weeks, THREE WEEKS and he was pushing for me to give up my friends (including my roommate who's my best friend), was pushing for me to stop attending university, to cut back my hours at work, and was pushing to try and get me to move in with him. After THREE WEEKS.

Red flags hit me in the face at 2am one night and I cut him off that day

[keating]

It truly angers me how being sought after and then being devalued by the same man is such a universal girlhood experience. I'm truly sorry for anyone who has had to go through this and i'm so glad that we're finally waking up to their games. much respect to her for bringing this to the forefront.