The Paranoia Test

One of the most useful realisations we might come to about ourselves is that we are ‘paranoid.’


FURTHER READING

"One of the most useful realisations we might come to about ourselves is that we are ‘paranoid.’ The word is easy to laugh off as impossibly eccentric, evoking people who insist that they are being tailed by the secret service or watched over by an alien species. But the reality is lot more normal-looking and far less comedic-feeling. To be paranoid in the true sense is to suffer from a repeated feeling that most people hate us, that most situations are extremely dangerous and that some kind of catastrophe is likely to befall us soon..."

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Gemma Green-Hope

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions

[hangersan]

My anxiety is through the roof lately, and so is my tendency to become paranoid of things that shouldn't even be possible

[randywa]

The thing about this is that sometimes the paranoia is right. Sometimes, your colleague rlly does hate you or someone rlly is after you. So I think it’s equally as important to find the strength to deal with those situations. Or at least the strength to truly consider them, so you can see how realistic or unrealistic it is and then prepare if necessary

[andrewschultz]

You know, looking back, the sort of people who called me out for being paranoid were paranoid in their own way, about far worse things. And they did actually plot and scheme.

That said, a lot of them are in the past, and it's great to have more resources like this to help keep them there or stuff further in the past.

[bolivar]

There is a wonderful quote by Montaigne which describes this soul condition perfectly:

"My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened".
Those of us who are always hypervigilant and live in a constant survival mode can totally relate! Here is a list of some ideas and resources that can give us consolation:

1. Generally people like you much more than you think! The episode " How others see you" of the Hidden Brain podcast explains this so well, I am sure you will be convinced! I especially loved the scientific studies they had done to prove this point.

If you feel a resistance to the idea, you can look back at your life and just write down the names of three people you thought that hated you but turned out to be very kind and loving folks and just keep those names in mind.

2. " Run towards the danger" episode of the Ten Percent Happier Podcast is incredibly moving and full of valuable insights. The actress and director Sarah Pollin wrote a book by the same name in which she tells you six stories of severe trauma and how she almost healed herself thanks to the kindness of others, when she only " dared" to see and accept their care.

Those are also brilliant stories of re-framing our past.

3. I don't do drugs. But you don't need to do drugs to benefit from some of the insights you can learn from Tim Feriss' interview with Michael Pollan. He wrote a book about psychedelics called " How to change your mind" . He says that when he tried LSD for a controlled experiment, they gave him some " flight instructions". They said for example that if he sees a monster in front of him, he should not panic, but he should kindly ask him:

"What is it that you want to teach me?"

It is indeed very touching to see that monster as a friend, who is there to help you see something about yourself. If we could embrace all of our anxieties and fears this way, we could definitely soften their effects on us and use them to understand ourselves and others better.

That could tenderise our hearts and make us feel less isolated...

4. It is also helpful to study what if the worst things that we fear really do happen!! Here are four podcasts I love on this subject:

- There is a brilliant podcast called " The Confessional with Nadia Bolz Weber" where people confess the worst thing they have ever done. It is all about self compassion. I hope you get to hear it!

- I am obsessed with the podcast " Cautionary Tales" by Tim Harford, which is also about the most horrible things that happen to people.
You will feel much less alone in your failings if you listen to this and also, it may help you prevent some future mistakes.

- Famous Failures ( This one is hosted by Ozan Varol, who was a rocket scientist, who later became a law professor and then a writer! )

- How to fail ( On every episode you have a guest who talks about their worst three mistakes in life. The episode with Derren Brown is brilliant. Who would have thought that such an interesting, smart and warm hearted man would have severe social anxiety? )
The episode with Alain de Botton is also brilliant.

5. When we see a person as a potential threat, we can remember two things:

- Probably, like most of the time, I am not reacting to this person but to my trauma that keeps repeating itself inside my head. Let's try to look at this situation like a third person.How would my best friend, my favorite writer or poet or teacher see this situation??

- Even if this person is really an enemy, I can remember what the poet Longfellow once said:

"If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility".

Thank you for this very valuable lesson!!

[TakeBackYourMind]

If you're someone who focuses a lot on the worst case scenario, try tipping the balance so you spend an equal or greater amount of time focusing on the best case scenario. It's a small thing but it helps a lot.

[erinsuzy]

This video has just made me realize that the reason I left social media was likely because of my paranoia, not because its toxic. Maybe other people can handle it but I just can't.

[Mente_Magicka]

Great video as ever. There is the paranoid that comes as result from traumatic experiences when you're an adult as well, I was waiting more on that.

[becomejvg]

Say only what is excellent.
Take nothing personal.
Never assume.
Put only the best efforts forward.

[herculesrockefeller]

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you."

[nizasiamehenry]

We still miss Alain's voice, although we've started getting used to this lady's voice but Alain's voice acts as a therapy on it's own!

[True]

This is why it's important to be social, and at the same time disconnect from the world when you're home alone. You create your own reality in your own mind, good or bad. As the saying goes; "We suffer more in imagination than in reality".

It's really true though, and that's why we need to remind ourselves of this fact and just take a step back every time we get paranoid or have crazy thoughts. Because they are just THOUGHTS!

[wilmerwong]

I can relate to such feeling. It's quite difficult for me to trust people easily nowadays. I really appreciate these videos. They address most of the issues many people and myself face.

[emilycleodie]

The thing is people genuinely CAN be out to get us, out of jealousy or whatever their insecurities are. I’ve had people admit to my face that they’ve tried to sabotage me. What do you say to that? Anytime I try to relax and trust, which I would love to do, someone takes advantage or crosses a line or worse. How I wish I was just being paranoid. Sadly there are people out there who really wish others harm!

[_Cato_]

>be me, paranoid
>feeling noided
>School of Life posts an ill-timed video about paranoia
>gets even more noided

Oh shit I’m feelin it

[PositiveWomenTV]

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
RUMI

[vasiliki]

most of us have been paranoid someway in a particular period of our lifes..it is also a meaningfully time for self healing, in a future analyses..it is a recognition of understanding the trauma in depth and to move forward by being more self caring and being more acceptable in our own critical eyes..

[zackorith]

Feel like school of life quite often direct problems at caregivers and parents, you can have good parents and still have underdeveloped parts of your psyche

[gmg]

Being terrified of war or being terrified of being diagnosed with an incurable disease or not reaching my dreams

[pinkiepiebiggestfan]

I have paranoid personality disorder. I'm not sure what was the genesis or the nexus of it was, but early in my life (middle school around age 10 or 11, also when I started puberty) I got the thought and belief in my head that 'you are not going to like me, you are not going to want to be around me, you're going to hate me, make fun of me, harass and bully me.' So I might as well do whatever I must to make my belief about you and your impending opinion and actions around me a self fulfilling prophecy'.

Which in retrospect of coarse made my older than me peers in school (I was 2 years ahead of everyone else of my age. I entered middle school at 10yo not the normal age of 12, High school at 12 not the average of 13 or 14) chide and tease and bully me when I would pick my nose and eat it, not shower after gym, not shave, come to school with dirty clothes ever though mom would wash clothes, stop completely brushing teeth and hair, be a rude disrespectful arrogant little punk. So of course kids teased me, kids tease what is different they can't help it, so the more I was teased the more weird I would act. I knew you were going to hate me so I might as well give you a good reason to do so.

Sadly that perspective has been with me to this day I'm 44 years old I have done what I must to drive family away and ensure that I have no friends I have to make it so you the reader will despise and hate me because you will anyway.

I know that logically that mindset is wrong and self defeating, but it is just how I feel and have to be because I know no other way.

[Watch-w]

This remind me of when I was in high school. I used to get bullied so I started to keep my head down. Until I saw everybody in senior year how much they accomplish and make friends.

I passed senior graduation all by myself alone. Just because I was playing too comfortable and afraid to embarrass myself ( aka paranoid)