r/AmITheA**Hole is Insane #6

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[mracula]

That first story: I was thinking OP was NTA but then she used the phrase “be recognized as soulmates in the eyes of the law” and it just paints the picture that this is a dumpster fire in the making. The sister is probably speaking up for good reason.

[solsirhibragusowl]

That story with the parents wanting to keep their daughter from coming back is just unbelievable. I mean is she supposed to magically be able to get an apartment without some sort of help. Places ain't cheap, mommy dearest. Sounds like one of those " I had to struggle so you also have to struggle" situations. I'm lucky then that my sister let me come back when rents where I had moved to got to high. We are basically stuck with each other and neither of us are mad about it. Kind of like Patty and Selma in The Simpsons lol.

[elaexplorer]

That second story, I can't even figure out why people would think she needs to pay for a dress she didn't authorize. That's just weird. It'd be different if she had told her "friend" to buy a certain dress and then kicked her out, but in this case she had told her specifically not to wear a different dress.

[stephanien]

5:42 that non-friend bridesmaid missed the part where the options were: wear the right color bridesmaid dress or do not participate as a bridesmaid. She had a choice, but chose instead to try to ambush the bride on her actual wedding day to be a selfish B. The bride of course does NOT owe her any money for the black dress she decided to buy for herself against the bride’s express wishes. That woman sounds delusionally self centered!

[WolfgangDoW]

OP: literally does all the child care and dogs, groceries, etc
Parents: you don't contribute anything!!
Guess they're finding out the hard way how much they actually contributed to the family

[jessicaholscher]

13:22 oh how the tables will turn when the parents get old. "oh, i'm sorry. you can't live with us. you're an adult. you're gonna have to go live in the nursing home like big kids."

[AleTitan]

With the horse story, it's hard to say. They say the older was insulting the younger, but it's not expanded upon. Which leads me to think the punishment probably doesn't fit the crime. And since the youngest is the favorite, they probably blew whatever situation was happening out of proportion

[Lyca]

The horse one reminds me of when I was around 12-13. My older sister was14-15 and she desperately wanted a dog. I'm not a dog person and didn't really want one.
My sister begged and begged and pestered and pestered.
Eventually my parents were like: well if we get one, it will be a Christmas present for both of you. My sister was like: Yes, yes, that's fine we don't care about anything else.
Then my parents said: When it's a puppy it will have to stay in your bedroom (we shared a room) you'll have to put newspaper down and clean up after it.
You'll both have to take turns taking it for walks and looking after it and training it.
My sister was just so excited and kept saying YES, YES, we don't care about anything else as long as WE can have a dog.
So we got a dog. It whined and barked and peed and pooped in our bedroom for weeks until he was trained. It chewed up our things and would jump up all the time when it was little.
I had to put my homework down and go out with my sister to take long walks on the field about a mile from our house. Because it was 'my' dog too and I 'agreed' the terms.
I didn't hate the little pup or anything, I'm not a bad person. If I saw an injured dog or cat, I'd help and take him/her to the vets. If I saw anyone hurting an animal, I'd intervene and try my best to put a stop to it. I'm just not a fan of dogs. I much prefer cats. I felt so resentful that I was forced to basically be semi responsible to a pet I didn't want and had no affection for.
It turned out to be a bad move getting him though because my mum, (a violent abusive alcoholic) ended up physically threatening the little dog and my sister ended up crying and rehoming him so my mum wouldn't end him.
I remember feeling awful and guilty, because while I never wanted him in the first place (looking back I think I didn't want him because my mum had my childhood dog put down when I was around 5 and she'd laughed and taunted me when I'd cried) because while I'd never wanted him, and I was glad he'd gone to a new home, I hated that my sister was so upset.

[tamsel]

Story 1: a 24 and a 30 year old who got engaged after knowing each other for 6 months. Knowing not even dating. Yeah... I cannot think of a any reason why the sister thinks this is a bad idea. /s

[aliceinunderwrld]

I was in a committed relationship for over a year, if you asked me 6 months into the relationship if I would have married them, I would have said yes. they moved away for college and we haven't spoken in 4 years. I know these situations aren't exactly the same but 6 months is nowhere near enough time to know if you two are compatible life partners
edit: maybe don't play armchair psychiatrist and assume everything about me based in this one comment? ffs I was 15 when I was in this relationship

[qtastically]

In regards to the first story. As a big sister myself I would also be trying to talk sense into them. "Madly in love"?? Girl give me a break, if you're so happy then why the hell are you rushing. Propably haven't even had the first fight yet wth

[selchert]

The bridesmaids aren't meant to look good lol my sister had hers in coral, snot green, and vomit yellow. I'm pretty sure those weren't the official names but that's what they looked like to me.. I was blessed with the snot green. If you don't want to wear the dress, don't be in the wedding party 🤷🏻‍♀️

[AW-uvcb]

Re: story no. 1: My brother proposed to his now-wife after six months of dating, they were both around 25 then – they're over 15 years (and 3 kids) in now and going strong. So for me the fact of them committing to marriage so quickly (even despite the age difference) isn't that big of a deal in itself, even though I wouldn't do it myself – however, the way the OP talks about it makes her seem like a very immature and emotions-driven person, and it's clear that her sister simply wanted them to give it a bit more time to see what they think after the first flush of emotions calms down. The fact the OP didn't even want to talk to her sister after that makes me think that she's an "all or nothing" person, ie. she thinks they're "soulmates" now, but the second they hit an issue she'll feel cheated that things are not "perfect" and won't know how to work things out.

[PickleRicks]

The horse story is disgusting. You clearly have a favorite child. you promise you wouldn't have to go in there and you lied.

Also yta for not letting your daughter move back in. She's doing her best, you'd really rather her be homeless than come back for a few weeks??

[Kim-dluk]

I knew me and my husband would be together for a very long time at 6 months. I didn't feel the need to get married back then because forever is a long time, so why rush it? Marrying someone as soon as possible absolutely doesn't mean you're secure in your relationship, probably the opposite actually.

[charminglady]

Ah yes brides maid who wanted to outshine both the bride and maid of honor. That's what she was doing. I am curious as to who was upset with Op. Someone who supports keeping peace in polite society? I have a feeling ex bridesmaid is from a well off family.

[jessicaholscher]

when you agree to be a bridesmaid, you agree that you might wear a dress you don't like. thems the rules, and that's why you can say "no, " when someone asks you to be in their wedding if you don't want to get outside your comfort zone.

[R-ll]

y'all bought 2 horses AT ONCE?? must be absolutely loaded

[LMR]

Story no:2 OP is definitely not the AH.
I have been a bridesmaid several time, and a MOH. I don't even like weddings. But if the bride is asking for something in particular (as long as they're not being a mean bridezilla about it) then just go with it. Unless you want to offer a light suggestion for something that would maybe make you feel more comfortable (I.e, hairstyle adjustment, dress colour tone, shoes etc).
It's their day not yours, and if you love the relationship enough then you'd just get on with it and appreciate the fact they asked you.

[JKrowlingrockx]

I love how you can pretty much instantly tell which child is the favorite. “My younger daughter is learning to ride horses, and my older daughter is ‘princessy’ and doesn’t like horses.” I get the feeling OP is more like the younger daughter, and is going to be biased towards the younger one as the favorite child. It’s a slippery slope, and considering how your older daughter is only a year away from being an adult, don’t be shocked if she’s already planning on leaving you as soon as she’s able. I like horses too, but dang, if it’s not your pet then it’s not your job to do the grosser parts of taking care of it. Shoveling literal horse shit is not a good punishment, it’s not something anyone should be FORCED to do as a punishment. Is it necessary for the care of the horse? Sure. But that’s the younger sisters job, it’s her pet. OP just went out of their way to chose a punishment that would be absolutely awful and disgusting over what? Grades slipping and some disrespect at home and being “needlessly cruel to her younger sister?” Gee, I wonder what the older sister could POSSIBLY be feeling about how her younger sister is treated by their parents? Stop showing favoritism, it’s going to come back and bite you hard eventually.