What Is Enmeshment?

Enmeshed relationships can be difficult to navigate. In this video, I go over what is enmeshment along with 4 scenarios that may or may not be enmeshed.

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Disclaimer:
This video was created by Barbara Heffernan, LCSW for educational purposes only. These videos are not diagnostic and provide no individual consultation. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, or professional care decisions should be made between you and your primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with. Barbara Heffernan is not available for individual consultation via YouTube, social media, or email, and provides services only in the manner mentioned above.

☀️☀️CHAPTERS☀️☀️
:00 Enmeshment vs dependence
:48 What is enmeshment?
3:29 Scenario #1
5:16 Scenario #2
9:18 Scenario #3
14:11 Scenario #4

[NifftyMelinoë]

Yes please. Would definitely appreciate more clarity on individuation and enmeshment.

[haliec]

I know I have had an enmeshed family, I've always felt I deserved more independence and it was always difficult to free myself. It caused me great distress over the years because there was a lot of emotional blackmail if I didn't comply. It has been exhausting pulling against it for so long. After listening to the Serena example this also rang a bell regarding relationship. For me though, I always stayed to figure it out, I guess because in my family dynamic, i fixed things so it flowed over to my romantic relationship. I took on that responsibility to fix it & keep it working regardless of the other persons lies. This has been quite an eye opening video for me. Thanks 😊

[Leilaninram]

This video is helping me to finally write a letter to my mom. Thank you.

[candma]

This was a very helpful video. Yes, please do a video on individuation! I grew up in an enmeshed family and am struggling to individuate. I've ended up going no-contact as there has been a lot of manipulation, gaslighting and shaming. Can you speak to those topics as well?

[jessimar]

yes, please go into more detail about individuation

[nilaja-itsmylife]

My goal with my son is his independence, individuation, and his ability to pursue his dreams ✨

[lindydance]

Yes that would be good to know more about

[ryarya]

Yes please for a video on individuation!!!

[TorpZeus]

Thank you for that very clear explanation. I find your video clips very useful indeed.

[phxbodyboarder]

Great video, love how clear the examples were.

[ashanein]

Yes please to the individuation content 💜

[kerryrobertson]

Yes, more on individuation. Thank you.

[teliagodfrey]

I really appreciate the examples and explanations! : )

[terrischeevel]

I would like to see more about individuation. What is good and bad etc..

[MichaelJohnson-yuvo]

I would like to hear more about individuation/self differentiation please.

[YanaHarvey-phwh]

Thank you so much Barbara for your amazing work!! Wishing you and your family a Happy Easter 🐣❤️ from UK

[carleegraham]

what is the difference between enmeshment and emotional intimacy? what is emotional intimacy?

[rosesize]

Great vidoe, such clarity but a further learning curve, however i wonder whether some of these situations are so clear cut. Had abusive & self serving partner for nine years by these examples i was certainly emeshed & abused & she was individuated ? I doubt this was actually so. She was not commited & very depedent on her own family, even so i learnt some hard lessons *

[yumildarodriguez]

My partner has this problem with his grown children. He is very permissive as he's mother was. He is doing the same thing and is ruined our relationship of 13 years

[MandyWoodArtist]

Barbara this was great - thank you. I am just wondering if there are good, normal enmeshment situations, like the wife in hospital and the doting husband verses bad self serving enmeshment, where the boyfriend is trying to control the situation to his own benefit? They are both enmeshment stories, but one man is serving his wife out of love, while the last is serving himself only, forfilling his own needs at the cost of his partner. Is the self serving partner being naccassistic? Just a wondering. Thank you, Mandy