What To Do First When You Get Caught Cheating

It's crucial to take accountability for infidelity in the relationship. Many times we want to put the blame on somebody else or rationalize the mistake away. If you're affair has been exposed or you're ready to come clean, this video will guide you on trying to save and repair your relationship.

Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC is a psychotherapist, specializing in intimacy, parenting, body image, and relationships.

Reaction Reset is a self-help series that explains the psychology behind why we react negatively and how we can begin to make a positive change. Subscribe for a new episode every other Wednesday!

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[terrywade]

Unfortunately, the cheater is never going to see this message until they’ve done all of the wrong things and hurt their partner worse and nothing works! The cheater will tell more lies, destroy the evidence, delete the messages, cover up the truth, blame their partner, minimized their actions, defend their behaviors, trickle truth, etc. More damage done. The betrayed may never recover after all of this continued betrayal.

[Wool]

You don't block any evidence! When you come clean, you give it all up!

[namboy]

Wise advice/counsel (as usual). I was slightly surprised at how negative and dark her perspective sounded (initially) regarding prospects for reconciliation, etc. (?). She did offer great suggestions for the wayward (cheating) spouse. But IMO if a person cheats, they may lack the requisite moral substance, integrity and mental tools to sincerely perform these suggestions (no matter whether they are remorseful (?). Was however impressed, but not surprised, at a her nearly 67% success rate for marriage renewal. This statistic by itself provides some much needed hope for troubled couples.

[Wool]

The family and friends do need to be involved especially if the side being cheated on needs support.

[mikev]

When you get caught cheating just put yourself in a trash nah and call it a day lol

[luciannacianciulli]

Does a one time message thread count as emotional cheating ?

[HarryAcorns]

Has anyone ever heard of a cheating wife, who has two children. Sets up a chance meeting with her affair partner and his daughter. The daughters happen to be the same age. And are immediately suggested they be friends. So now the wife has an excuse to see, text and be with her affair partner. Because their daughters are now friends. Is that the most deceitful thing ever or what? Imo only a really evil person would take that thought out of betrayal. And separate question. Can people really be just friends after an emotional affair? And could or should the wife, keep him as a friend, knowing he will always want her, while she's "working" on her marriage? He's told her he just wants her to be happy, but not leave her to fix her marriage. That's love. Sick if you ask me. In other words, he loves her so much that he has to stick around and be "friend" while she repairs her marriage. I guess once she's happy again in her marriage they can just be friends. 🤯

[richardjohnson]

except for one thing. Once a cheater, always a cheater. How can he believe that she will be faithful? She swore fidelity when you got married TO GOS IN GOD'S HOUSE and so casually ignored that vow. So how can he believe a woman who is terrified of losing her lifestyle because her lover dumped her? She will say anything to keep him from throwing her to the street. HOW can he trust her again? Tell me that.
Every time she has to 'work late' he will wonder is she is working or at some cheap motel. Every time he has a business trip, he will wonder if her current lover has moved into his bedroom.

[sugarsnap]

If you get caught cheating, you stayed too long in your relationship, here’s the saying: if you cheat, pick the second one cause if you respected, loved and were committing to the first, it wouldn’t have happened. Once cheating happens it’s usually time to say goodbye, trust is very difficult to rebuild.

[marischoles]

It isn't the cheaters choice. As the partner of a cheater, then they are gone from my life.

Cheaters aren't worth being with ever.

Dont lie to children as the partner. State in an age appropriate way.

There is no relationship as the chump then leave a cheater get a life.

I dont care if the cheater forgives themselves or not.