When It’s Time to Move On From A Dismissive Avoidant

In this video, Coach Courtney Gatlin talks about when it's time to move on from being dismissed.

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#dismissiveavoidant #coachcourt #breakups #healing #anxiouspreoccupied

[onnol]

The moment they withdraw and ignore your one attempt to reconnect. Thats when you cut the cord and go your way because you tried and they did not want it.

[nosubstituteforsam]

It’s such a relief to understand the confusion a DA creates. The good times, then the drop off. My “okay, I guess you are not interested, ” then the “no, wait!” and then nothing. If I was more secure I could be patient. But the space creates anxiety. Cant do the DA dance anymore.

[joemanifesto]

It's so easy for me to see a friend in a toxic relationship and tell them to move on. Why can't I do it myself?

[beebeebraswell]

I was dismissed for the last time last night. I can't do this anymore.

[Cafelattechic]

Thanks coach! I started therapy recently after a DA ex almost screwed up my mind. Listen guys, it’s not worth it. Protect yourselves, and love yourselves please. Dealing with a DA is not good for your mental health. If your an AP like me, work on your healing and that should include being able to smell a DA miles off and stay away from them. This guy and I did the push pull dynamic till my self esteem was in tatters. He will come back after few weeks silence and apologize etc, I foolishly take him back, then he goes silent again. Sometimes we only talk for 2 days before he ghosts again. All for Someone who will NEVER emotionally be available to you?! Naah, move on, start your healing and cut them off while you focus on yourself. Therapy is painful, but worth it. You will feel that you hv abandoned yourself, cos you have. All for what??
You don’t need an emotionally unavailable person to validate you. YOU ARE ENOUGH!!

[himanirana]

Being with a DA is so frustrating! I’ve been trying and trying since 2 years now but every conversation is according to him. Whenever i tell him what made me upset, he says that I ‘overreact’. I know we both have feelings for each other. But he just cannot change. The saddest part is, it’s like he isn’t even grateful to me for adjusting so much. I killed some of my basic needs too. After every small argument, he needs a 3-4 days break minimum. It frustrated me a lot! I started having anxiety attacks so i had to leave him. I blocked him from everywhere. We’ve been in an on n off relationship n now I don’t wanna go back. Because i know it’s gonna be fine for a few days, weeks maybe, then again we’ll have an argument on something n he’ll ghost me.

[onelife]

Yeah I give up. I'm tired of doing all the work.

[cynthiacvon]

I found your page today and watched a ton of your videos. My boyfriend is definitely DA and it's so frustrating dealing with him.
The controls the entire relationship; how and when we talk, avoids important conversations.
I have been trying to have a conversation about my needs and I know he's avoiding to have the talk. Today when I insisted on having the talk we had a fight and I know I'm not going to hear from him again until I reach out.

I'm AP so the silence kills me but this time, I'm NOT going to contact him. If he doesn't value the relationship as much as I do, then I don't want it.

[bluebbee]

watching this after 30 day NC.. i blocked his number and social media. avoidants are only exited during the honeymoon phase and lose interest down the line hence why they keep leaving and coming back….

[kateykurzawa]

Thank you for this Coach. I needed this. I became a shell. My body was shutting 😢down. I was really beginning to crumble even as mostly secure.

[TheMoka]

Was in a 8 years relationship left me after a month with someone else and has been with him 4 months now can't believe I was replaced like I meant nothing soo heartbroken angry and sad :'(

[romanyfirst]

I believe he is seeing others but no sense asking if he is

[notmyrealpseudonym]

Thank you. Excellent content.

Good point about mental health of the person rather than anything the other person has going on.

[karissakarma]

We comin for that success story Coach!! If you’re struggling get a sesh with Coach Court! He’s changed my outlook in a very short amount of time! #Grateful 💜

[nadiacristelo]

I need to play this video on repeat! Thank you! ☺️

[mochipurrez]

Hey Boss
Thanks for all the DA videos...pls keep em coming!
Youre appreciated 👍😊

[WheresJustice]

Oopsie! I block people then unblock them in order to process and chill out. If I don't and I'm feeling hurt or angry I might impulsively respond with very long emotionally charged texts. I have anger issues I'm trying not to be mean in the heat of the moment and say something I'll regret🤐🧘‍♀️

[rebeccajamieson]

ugh this is literally my life right now soooo painful

[chilloften]

I have such trouble moving on in my mind. I rehash almost hourly, something that went sideways. How can I stop it? My DA will call me once a month or so and it brings a hope or kindness I cannot get over bit yet I’m unable to block him. He never mentions getting back together, in fact early on said he’s moving on and seeing someone else already.

[fereshtej]

I did pull off and that looked and worked like a "no contact" and space that he needed. Then he reached out and the same cycle began! I do not know how to step back completely. Sometimes it seems and feels like he likes me. But most of the time, the contrary.