the history of china summarized in 13 seconds

[not educational, just a video for fun] the history of china summarized in 13 seconds. this is the peak of my editing powers. what have i done to deserve this abomination?

[ROBOHOLIC]

Let's do the exact same thing we've done 13 times before!

[watamesshepherdjesuschrist]

I can't believe I just wasted reading a manga worth 700 chapters when there's a 13 second summary.

[ScorpoYT]

forgot to add funny throat singing horse riders from the steppe

[nmdvalkyrie]

1. Warlord period
2. A guy said "I'm going to unite China"
3. Proceed to eat the entire population of a city to win a single battle and throw half of the human population in the entire earth to the shadow realm
4. Actually managed to unite China and recovered the entire population
5. Some peasant said "this dynasty is cringe" and started rebellion that costed another half of the human population in the entire earth
6. Repeat to number one

[purplevalkvnce]

1. Golden Era
2. Corrupted government
3. Revolt
4. New government
5. Repeat

[cedrictheveneau]

I discovered this channel randomly yesterday and since then I’m addicted.

[Gooberpatrol]

Bro imagine if I drank this mercury to become immortal

[rekoken]

Chinese history be like:
Shi Gao started the Ti Fao Rebellion in the province of Shen Bong which led to the formation of the Pingling dynasty
Casualties: 50 million

[sinoist]

Every Chinese war is fought over the pettiest of drama, like: "This single grain of rice is mine, not yours", then proceeds to have a war with over 50 million deaths.

[hamanakohamaneko]

Chinese history be like

Ge Tiao complained about the price of wood. This made Emperor Wang Cong call Ge Tiao a poo poo head. This made him upset so he started a civil war. It caused 69, 420, 666 deaths. Some random guy named Quan Lou Meng becomes the emperor of the new dynasty. Said dynasty cracks after a few centuries and China becomes a balkanised clusterfuck. Then some war happened and they become one nation again. A man named Kuai Pao Xu united China by using tactics like eating the civilians of occupied territories. (Process repeats)

[loafofbreadindo]

"China is whole again"
"Then it broke again"

[dapperfield]

Meanwhile in Europe:

War of Shaggenfard Succession
Belligerents: (Until 1572) (From 1572)
Casualties: 56, 000 (55, 999 due to disease)
Result: Minor territorial concessions, Treaty of Paris

[AegisAuras]

“If your dynasty is cringe, on revolution the people will binge.”

- Chinaman The Wise

[tranlewlinign]

The Empire, long divided, must unite.
The Empire, long united, must divide.
--Romance of Three Kingdoms

[thatguynoonelikes]

Chinese history is just

WOAH
It's fixed!
And even bigger than befo-

Oh
It's broken again

[CML_]

The west: They killed 50 of our men during a battle, We must surrender!
The east: We suffered 20 million casualties to defend our country, I'll call it a overwhelmingly victory.

[godslonelyman]

Fun fact:
This video gives a subtle nod to what happened at June 4 1989, Absolutely Nothing.

[bradleyqiini]

Lolololol I confirm this as a Chinese. We even have a proverb for this endless loop: Long-term separation leads to unification while long-term unification leads to separation.

[messier]

Europe: The king was able to muster an impressive 15, 000 men, enough to decisively win the battle and forever shape the future of "insert country here*

China: The "randomy dynasty decided to rebel against "Leading Dynasty", muserting a decent force of 500, 000 men. Also 10 million Civilians will die for some reason

[otanakugaming]

This is more accurate than many other history channels