Self Esteem and Body Image | That’s What He Said

Description: Six feet tall. Broad shoulders. A six pack. Hair in all the right places. Media is bombarding men with images of this ‘perfect man’, for whom women line up. In this episode, we take the traditionally female topic of body image, and ask men to talk about their struggles with self-image.

Credits:
Created and Directed by: Anabella Casanova
Produced by: SoulPancake in association with Vacation Theory
Edited by: Cassidy Damore
Cinematography by: Kelly Moore
Production Designed by: Sage Price
Moderated by: Joshua Bitton

Participants: Saro Badalian, Joshua Bitton, Orlando Bishop, Steve Hernandez, Bayan Joonam, Maceo Paisley, Kevin Pazmino, Sage Price, Ryan Rogers, Desean Terry

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[pandaonsteroids]

That one skinny guy who said he felt like since he's skinny he can't make someone feel safe.. That's such a horrible thought.

[pinkitydrinkity]

its nice to know that men have the same issues as women and this is not just a female battle, but both a male and female battle.

[linflower]

Man, that guy who said, "Sometimes I feel so great, and sometimes I don't want to get out of the house!" really made my day. Sometimes I'll look in the mirror and think, "Damn, you're pretty." but then I'll take off my shirt and bra and think, "Oh ew don't ever show that to anyone."

[filteredcreativity]

Humbleness, humility, gentleness, and humor = 10/10 hot.

[Allwaswell]

every single one of these guys is so attractive. and while they are handsome that attractiveness for me comes completely from the intelligence and heart they clearly all have.

[carolineportante]

This series is so invaluable because it enables me, a woman, to get an inside look at how men feel about important issues, discussions that I usually don't have access to. Thank you!

[jamesduffrin]

I just needed to say THANK YOU. As a short and skinny guy i needed to hear this.

[war-qviv]

I enjoy how this outlines and shows the transparency that guys have while talking to other men about the things that have an effect on us while we growing up

[Powersoldier]

I wish there was more talk like this for men to come forward to create awareness. As a guy who had really bad body image self esteem issues and former borderline anorexic, I feel that the fitness industry and the media always brainwashes  us for the perfect body for us to be desirable from the opposite sex. I always thought that girls love guys with abs and muscles because that's what we see around school, movies, TV shows, etc. and whenever we hear for example girls scream whenever they see a hot guy taking of his shirt and for us we would go workout and eat right but in the mirror we would think we are not good enough and then starve for a long time. It is hard to explain. But for many of us we would be afraid to come foreword because we think it only happens to women. Its everywhere especially in grade school and college that it is unavoidable.

[fleepss]

As a guy, these body image issues are definitely something I deal with on a regular basis. Looking at yourself in the mirror it's sometimes hard to "judge" yourself because you don't really have a point of reference for what makes an "ideal body". On the one hand, you have the guys in commercials for 6 pack abs that are jacked. On the other, you have these guys like Arnold that are just huge. And lastly, on the other you have male models in fashion magazines who have an attractive, yet different kind of body altogether. All of them look good, and it's tough because sometimes you don't really know where to "place yourself" in the whole grand scheme of things. And then in the real world, you get such a mix of people that's it's tough to know what's reality and what isn't.

In trying to process it all, I've taken a tip from the whole body image issues debate that women face. At the end of the day all that matters is that you're healthy, and you're comfortable in your own skin. For me personally, I've stopped worrying so much about how I look, but rather how I perform. Personally, surfing is a really important part of my life, and optimizing my body to surf the best that I can is really the most important thing for me. After a long time spent training, I've figured out at what size and weight my body feels most comfortable at, and which allows me to perform at my maximum potential and I've been really happy with it. Focusing on performance has indirectly built me an athletic body, and I'm really happy with it. I'm not huge or "jacked" by any means, but I feel good, and I guess that's all that matters. If I were to ever have a son, I think I would tell him to build a body around their favorite sport or physical activity and to reach a level in which they feel comfortable, and healthy.

[estoyBiegando]

what makes a man attractive? humbleness and authenticity, that he's not afraid of revealing his emotions and feelings. that makes a men (or any person) strong.

[IamEssence]

This video was much needed. I out of the many qualities I LOVE about my husband I love his quiet charisma. He never has to shine and is very reserved and quiet yet his silence speaks so loud in a room. When we walk into a place im in awe of how he is respected yet is so humble, gentle, and simple. Its sad how social media makes people either who they are not or either always having to be who they think they should. Be authentically true to yourself and You will not only attract authentic people but you will be happier because theres no need for competition in your life. Great video Gents

[KateFollot]

"you look so good" how absolutely heartbreaking to hear from a loved one, especially one who is a doctor.

[perzival]

Does the guy at 1:25 remind anyone else of George Clooney?

[fiftyclown]

I love this series so much! I hope people don't take it as them trying to "outdo" or "1up" women's issues, or making men seem as if they're less equal than women- it's not that at all. It's male struggles and issues regarding those topics. Because believe it or not, men do face unrealistic standards and struggle with body image too.

[Heowa]

Thank you for this video! Gender equality, body image, confidence, those are ongoing struggles, for society and for each and everyone for themselves, I guess. I have been aware of men struggling with those issues as well for quite some time now, yet sometimes I still discover new aspects I've never thought about before. When you guys talked about "being tall" generally being one of the central attributes associated with desirable men, I suddenly realized how often you actually hear that particular thing. Guys, this is horrible...while we're fighting for more different body types in women to be represented in the media, I don't see much of that happening for men...I'm definitely going to pay attention to that from now on...

[bestdressman]

SoulPancake, THANK you for this subject. And thank you for this series. There are so many vibrant and beautiful differences among us, and yet we tend to only focus on those "less-thans" that the media tells us we should. Thank you for giving me permission to admit that I don't always like my body...but more so, the connection that I'm not alone in feeling this.

[harisleona]

This is a topic that people are rarely willing to openly discuss, I'm really happy to see a video like this with many different perspectives and experiences. A+

[Pravduh]

This is really cool. I liked watching guys, like me, explaining something that is highly important for us in today's society

[tbr_hoarder]

Wow. Thank you for sharing. This story about the tenor with an eating disorder really hit me hard.