Movie Couple Therapy: LA LA LAND

How do you reconcile personal passions with relationship needs when they conflict?

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright are taking a look at famous movie couple, Mia and Sebastian, from La La Land. In this movie couples therapy episode, Jonathan takes on the controversy of their relationship and how 🚨 SPOILERS 🚨 they don’t end up together and why that’s okay. Gasp! What do you think? Alan shares a lot of filmmaking commentary for obvious reasons. It’s a love letter to Hollywood!

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Cinema Therapy is:
Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, Alan Seawright, and Corinne Demyanovich
Edited by: David Sant
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis

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[trinaq]

The ending was bittersweet, but realistic. Sadly, no matter how much you may love each other, love can't always overcome, and you can't balance your relationship with your career. The shot where Mia and Sebastian smile at each other is poignant, as they silently wish each other the best, as they've achieved their dreams, even if they split up in the process.

[moonbeamsun]

This movie reminds me of a Bojack Horseman quote:
“I think there are people that help you become the person you end up being, and you can be greatful for them even if they were never meant to be in your life forever.”

[moviemelody]

I like the line “I’m always going to love you” because while it sometimes is not enough to maintain the relationship, it doesn’t mean the feelings are any less strong

[dutchvanl]

I think the world needs more of this message. The idea that sometimes you may love someone and have chemistry, but if you don't want the same things out of life, sometimes it's better to let that go and find love again than cling to it and make both of you miserable. We're so oversaturated with this idea of one true love that will complete us and make us whole... That we start expecting another person to fill too large a role in our lives.

[renemenjivar]

This movie hit so close to home when it came out. My ex-girlfriend truly loved musicals, and in turn made me into a big fan of musicals. We had a breakup similar to this one. It was a painful breakup, but we had to go our different directions because we had become different people from when we first got together. It's been a decade since my ex and I broke up, and whenever my ex comes up in my mind, I do that small smirk that Seb does to Mia. I became who I am now because of that relationship, and I grew to be the person who would make the right husband for my now-wife. None of that happens without my previous relationship. I'll always love my ex, and I'm thankful for that relationship because I wouldn't be who I am, and I wouldn't be where I am now, without that love.

[Jonathan_Collins]

Back then people used to say that La La Land was overrated cuz the film won so many awards but I still thought that it is just straight up a masterpiece. I love the story, the coreography, cinematography, colours and everything that makes it so different than other films. almost made me cry too lol.

[rubygracemoseley]

“You like jazz 😏”
“YOU’RE FIRED”
I absolutely loved that

[Bringmethehorizondude]

Just started the video but I already know the answer, do they belong together is irrelevant, they belong to their dreams and their love for each other is so strong they would never dare get in each others way of achieving those dreams. Love can transcend any and all boundaries. Sometimes people that should be together, don’t end up together, because they end up with theirs dreams. Achieving what you want involves sacrifice and sometimes you have to sacrifice what you love. It’s just a part of life.


I saw this in theatres several times because I was going through depression due to the death of my brother. This movie helped me survive and I’ll love it forever. It’s a magical masterpiece.

[BabySpiegel]

There was this guy in my high school when I was a sophomore back in 2010 that spoke to high schoolers in the country and he said something about what love is. Surprisingly, I still haven't forgotten it. Jonathan says that love is wanting happiness for the other person and what the guy said that connects to what Jonathan said is that love is choosing the highest good for the other person. I also think that choosing the highest good for the other person means that even if you have to step out of the way just so the other person can fly, you have to be mature enough to do that

[daniellebelisle]

I’ve seen this ending so many times, and every time I see this scene, I flood with tears.

[laurenfrey]

If I had a nickel for every time a Ryan Gosling character made a decision about his relationship based on the opinions of his SO’s parents rather than his SO, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

[alexbobajex]

I feel like that last look between mia and seb is the MOST intimate moment I've ever seen in a movie. Maybe ever. it's such a magnum opus moment, like. ALL the tiniest, most sublte changes in both of their faces, the held gaze, the score, the lighting, it says EVERYTHING. I bawl every time i see it. it's so so so so intimate. you feel everything, the whole story, all the paths, all the love. and you stay there EXACTLY the right amount of time. on each shot and in total. it is just perfection.

[ashb]

I’m glad this movie gave that brief “but what if” end with them. Because films are still about wish fulfillment to a degree, and the two of them got what they wanted and are happy apart, but seeing them happy together is what the audience would want, so we got a taste of that as well. And it adds a little to the realism of us also thinking about our choices and knowing each one can take us in different directions which we can’t know about until later.

[peachytine]

One of the BEST things about this movie is the ending scene of what could’ve been. In a perfect ideal world… where there was no rejection, pride, hurt, anger (and we didn’t let these feelings get projected onto others) this love would be so easy. However, we aren’t perfect beings and not everything will be ideal. They could’ve become a toxic relationship, or sacrifice their dreams to be with each other and make a relationship work. Instead they truly wanted what was best for each other, even if that meant not being together, and that is love. They chose to always have that love. Its so refreshing than the typical Hollywood girl meets guy… and they end up together against all odds. This seems much more real.. and they still end happy. It’s just the best writing.

[youssefnakhli]

I literally asked you guys in the comments of last week to do this one. I can't believe it is already here. Thank you guys

[jenniferkerner]

This episode validates something I say A Lot about my own life: the healthiest relationship I've ever had is not a romantic partnership, it's the relationship I have with my best friend. We're both actors-with-day-jobs, and we love getting to work on shows/festivals/projects together (and have done so loads of times) - but we also LOVE seeing each other win even when we can't share the win.

[natalie-sloth]

I watched this movie in cinema on Valentine's day 2017 with my girls, because my then boyfriend told me the day before that he didn't want to spend this day together and instead spend the night at his parents. I had a feeling that he wanted to break up with me already, but the way this movie handled the ending of the relationship was really eye opening. I was bawling in the cinema. Because they did care enough to talk it through, be honest with each other and their dreams. I really liked Jon's analysis of their story and how he explained how you grow from these experiences no matter how gut wrenching they felt at that time. At least for me that became true and I am in a much happier relationship with a better understanding of what I want and how I like to live. Thanks for doing a video on this movie, I forgot how much I loved it ❤

[charlesbecker]

This movie brings up so many complex and painful emotions. It was my first introduction to love that doesn't work out in the end because their love for each other causes them to have the other pursue their dreams. The type of love that I have experienced multiple times. It's bittersweet

[SamBryans]

I went to bat for this film after it came out. I was telling everyone and their mother that the ending was correct. I pointed out that in the "fantasy ending" that people wanted, Sebastian never opened Seb's, he never got his dream. And people kept coming back at me with "You make sacrifices for people you love" because people couldn't wrap their heads around the sacrifice being the relationship. As someone who is asexual and aromantic, all I have seen is people being conditioned to want love and a family and that is the greatest achievement in life and anyone who doesn't want that is less than. This movie validated me so much.

[AlexanderBrando]

I love that she named the club when it was only an idea and at first he didn’t like it but then he accepted it when it was real ❤