Movie Couple Therapy: MARRIAGE STORY

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Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright do a movie couple therapy session for the couple from Marriage Story to guide them through the messy and painful process of divorce. They take a look at some of what went wrong in Charlie and Nicole's relationship, what could have helped them navigate their conflicts and divorce in a healthier way, the phenomenal performances from Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver (and Laura Dern too!), and how the dialogue feels so true to life. And how both main characters somehow feel like both the protagonist and the antagonist.

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Cinema Therapy is:
Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, and Alan Seawright
Edited by: Jenna Schaelling
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis

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[headphones]

This movie hurt. Adam Driver when he’s saying he wishes she was dead broke my heart. You could tell he didn’t mean it, but he knew that he could never take that back. What a performance

[newmoon]

My husband and I were in couples therapy for a year. When we called it off, our therapist said, "I've never heard either of you say anything deliberately hurtful to the other one." Our issue was that he doesn't like to be touched at all, ever, and I need it for my sanity. Not just sex, but simple physical contact. His sister is a psychoanalyst. She suspects he is on the Asperger's spectrum. I had a strategy for determining if he was mad at me. I'd say, in a flat tone, "I am evil and should be killed." Yes=mad, no=not mad. We're both conflict avoidant, but he takes it to an extreme.

[Caligirl.]

My husband and I are Nicole and Charlie to a T. When I "snapped" and walked away, he begged for marriage therapy and I obliged and it changed our whole marriage and lives. We ended up staying together but this movie was very painful to watch knowing how much their relationship mirrored ours. It's still one of my favorites.

[jessicac]

I usually skip the minutes where people talk about their sponsors but your guys’ delivery tone and edits just crack me up

[zabrinamaynard]

I honestly cannot watch this movie all the way thru. It just hits too close to home and I am journeying thru my own separation with a covert narcissist. Coming to grips with the reality of how far I allowed the relationship to drift is going to take me some time. This episode made me cry...

[maddogproductions]

It felt like I was watching my parents fight again, was almost a trigger watching the movie, but I think the closure they get to not many people experience and to go through the heartbreak again but to see the parents end up alright is so comforting as a kid who had very traumatic experiences from my parents fighting when I was younger

[allinaxford]

C.S. Lewis and "Thee Four Loves" sure helps with the definition of love.

I know it is not a movie but it would be good to bring up something that gives definitions to the types of love. The definitions sure help in understanding.

[IndustrialMarsh]

When I was doing theatre as a teenager, about 16/17, I played King Lear in this sort of, ensemble cast where there were 5 King Lears, and we'd all be on stage with each other and shadow each other, and swap acting and shadowing for different scenes. It was the most EXHAUSTING thing I have ever done, throughout the play there are three or four breakdowns for King Lear, and the added affect of having several people on stage with you, all emulating your emotions and having "panic attacks", slowly losing your minds, and reciting lines, and having to rehearse that for several months beforehand, and then PERFORMING it for an audience to react to. We would psyche each other up with one of the directors before going onstage before any emotional scenes, and another affect of performing something this taxing emotionally is having to CALL BACK to real fights/losses/anxieties, and force yourself to confront them in order to pull from something to get yourself to cry onstage before the acting can even begin. I loved it but also, best months of sleep I ever had because of the sheer energy it drained

[delrey]

Scarlett's performance in this film is underrated.

[jackeeg.]

I would love to see them talk about the relationship between Jamie and Cathy in The Last Five Years, particularly the dynamic during Jamie's song If I Didn't Believe in You. One of my favorite musicals and it has such an interesting narrative structure.

[luvlv]

This movie reminds me so much of The story of us. Very different endings but beautiful stories.

[izzatihassan]

The Adam Driver character kept repeating "New York is my home". Just kind of proves how self-absorbed he is. How he thinks his wishes is what others wish for, or what is the best for all. I feel like I sided to Scarlett's character straight away. I feel like there's a lot of women like Scarlett's character, one who puts her wishes and dreams in the back and becomes merely a shadow of her husband or her kids, following whatever they do because they are told that being a wife/mom is a supporting role.

[TheThegirlbehindyou]

love u jonathan so happy u did this
this is my favourite movie

[BloodylocksBathory]

I remember a critic saying this film felt like a horror at times because he'd get so nervous anytime he felt a fight between the characters would occur. It is a severely tense movie.

[DiabloSandwich]

I know the focus of this video was on Charlie and Nicole but I wanted to comment on one of my biggest pet peeves of movies about divorce. I've never encountered in the real world a child of divorce that at best complains about and at worst refuses to spend one with one parent over another and Marriage Story is one of many films that perpetuates that concept.

[Silirion]

Thank you. Great to watch this. Take care 🫶🏼

[missmangayaoi]

PLEEASE do Vinny and Lisa from My Cousin Vinny!!! it's one of my all time fav movies!!!

[MAFE]

PLEASEEEE!! Do the show GIRLS, specially the relationship between the girls and/or the relationship between Hannah and Adam! :)
Edit: PLEASEEEE!! Do This Is Us too!!

[psdman]

@Cinema Therapy, Just Sayin', Alan, you Totally Missed A "Blinded By The 'Light'" Joke!!!! But Also, I Just Love Adam Driver, And Scarlett Johansson As Actor And Actress, Because They're Both Really Good At What They Do With What They're Given.

[ShadowYaz]

After seeing the "every day I wish you were dead!!" scene, I vowed to never speak when clouded by anger. I isolate until my mind is cleared then come back to the conversation with my thought collected. Like... Dang, Charlie, I know you didn't mean it but... She can never un-hear that. She will never again live in a world where you didn't say that to her.