Let’s Get Rid of “Autism Moms” (short)

[Julia.echternach]

Thank you. Can we please be skeptical of any term directed at women specifically, and instead focus on the mindsets (like grievance) and social structures that harm autistic and disabled people? Thx…

[ClaraDarko]

Thank you, yes. That's exactly my problem. My son was diagnosed when he was 3, around 10 years ago. And as he grew up and started talking ans developing new behaviours, I realized I was autistic as well. I finally got my diagnosis a year ago.

As someone who's met dozens of families with autistic children, I have to say that plenty of those mothers (or fathers) are autistic as well, but they haven't realized it or accepted it yet.

[minimuffinmug]

I saw some Shorts about them and I thought they were on a similar vain to Boy Moms.
Not all mothers of boys are like that, but Boy Moms are unhinged.
I like your name better, because it shows the heart of the issue a lot better.

[gemcorker]

Sometimes, mothers of disabled children have no idea how to be anything other than a full-time carer because of the expectations that they give up everything to raise their children. My husband was born with a disability (physical disability, not autism) and his mother, my wonderful MIL was called all sorts of terrible names for daring to go back to work & getting childcare for him, in 1985. He went to school with other physically disabled kids & I have heard of helicopter mum's (& some dad's) struggling so hard with letting their kids grow and learn and make mistakes. But these kids definitely found ways to get some shenanigans on!
Anyway, my point is women are expected to become Mom once we have kids. No other identity is allowed, our entire life must now revolve around our children. Fathers are not expected to give up their hobbies, but Mothers are. So, stripped of all other identity and having to manage 100% of the care for their autistic child/ren, I can see how some mothers make it their identity to be an Autism Mom. Being a carer is very, very isolating, and I understand trying to make something a strength & not a weakness, but basing your identity on your child/ren's disability is kinda strange.

[JermaineMasker-ipox]

My mom's a original autistic autism mom

[wxwxvyq]

I've never heard that said before I feel like this is kind of irrelevant, just a random opinion of a random autistic person