Should I Date a Non-Catholic? - Fr. Gregory Pine, O.P.

Fr. Pine gives his thoughts on inter-faith dating.

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[johndrayton]

My mother was Presbyterian, my father Catholic. My father rarely went to mass, my mother honoured HIS commitment to raise us as Catholics and took us every week.

[vinnyvincelive]

I have recently broken up with my non catholic girlfriend. It was truly painful because I loved her so much! But she wouldn’t be open to raising children as Catholics. We never came to a compromise! And she blames me for the relationship ending because she loves me but just doesn’t like the catholic way of worship. I still do miss her. I do feel we had to end things but it does suck

[tonywallens]

My fiancé is non-denominational and is very appreciative and open to much of Catholicism. Over the years I’ve seen her grow tired of the style of worship she experiences and the emotional emphasis it has. She is halfway through reading time sweet home and I’m very hopeful she will one day become catholic. Mary and saints and venerating images and confession to a priest are still stumbling blocks but I’m working with her patiently. She agrees to raising the kids Catholic and my spiritual headship as a man. We can even pray the divine office and divine mercy chaplet together. We go to mass together when we can. It is not the ideal way of situations but we both love the Lord and I hope that we can be fully United in faith one day. Pray for us.

[oliviasmith]

My husband was in RCIA when we reconnected and began dating in 2017 and converted later that year. I was raised Baptist and had no plans on ever converting, but agreed that if we got married I would help raise any children in the Faith. After falling in love with Catholicism through going to Mass with him, I started RCIA in 2019 and converted in 2020. I firmly believe that God brought my husband back into my life to guide me back to Him and the true Faith. We now have 2 beautiful little girls and our 3 year old loves Jesus and her Mama Mary

[marysanchez]

My husband and I were lukewarm Catholics when we married. But we’ve grown in our faith together.

[herbhawkins]

5 years dating both Catholics and non-Catholics. Boy I have made some bad decisions. I'm a slow learner apparently. Finally getting the courage to ask the hard questions up front without worrying about the outcome.

[MrMustang]

How about dating “Catholics” in name only? I feel like this is a trickier situation as many people identify with being catholic but then reject almost every core teaching of Catholicism.

[amandaseoane]

Father Gregory, you are such an incredible gift. I am so grateful for you and will definitely include you in my prayers. You are so good, Father.

[Grantthecatholic]

Please pray for my girlfriend to come to Catholicism and for the success of our relationship

[jflores]

37, my closest relationships were with non catholic Christian, the recent also had traditional values but non religious and bashed the Bible and the church. At least accepting my faith and not attacking it was not a deal breaker, it hurt so much letting them go but I want to raise .y children in the church and have them grow with Christ in their lives earlier and stronger than I did.

I'm lonely sometimes but its worth waiting but 40 will be here soon

[claytonhall]

My wife is Methodist (we just got married about 5 months ago) and she regularly attends mass with me and really has done so since we started dating about 3 years ago. She’s currently discerning about becoming catholic and finding an RCIA class that works with her work schedule. She additionally agreed to raise our future kids catholic.

What changed in my dating life was two things: 1) Being okay if I was single the rest of my life because God’s plan is better than mine and 2) No longer settling in my dating life. The woman I dated next couldn’t just say she was a Christian, she had to have an active prayer and faith life.

[FinelinePictures]

Brought my non-Catholic girlfriend (nonformal Christian) to mass and she broke out into tears afterwards because of how the priest looked into her eyes when giving her the blessing instead of Communion. After bringing her to the Latin mass for the first time, she cried during the car ride back and said "Now I know what they mean by 'fear of God.'"
While I pray that the Holy Spirit touches her heart and brings her to the truth of the Church, I do understand that as long as we are *compatible* in values that could someday lead to, God willing, a fruitful marriage with chchildren, it's fine. Sometimes Providence works in such a way so as to allow us to be vessels to bring about good in others' lives.

[Charlotte_Martel]

I guess it depends on whether you're a believing, practicing Catholic or just a cultural one. If the former, then you want a spouse who will support you in your faith and guide your children in the faith.

As the child of an interfaith marriage (Jewish dad, Catholic mum), I can tell you that everything is a struggle. Holidays, religious chats with relatives, navigating religious rites. My parents did the best they could, but I was acutely aware of how much less stressful family life was for friends/family members who had married within their religions.

[MikePasqqsaPekiM]

Loved this video.

It seems most folks considering marrying someone expect them to either stay the same, or change in various positive ways. Neither of those expectations is a given.

I’ve seen some Catholic-Protestant marriages work well, but I’ve also seen the sorrows of Catholic spouses who discover their partner no longer wishes to raise children in the faith, and in some cases, actively prevent it and in some rare cases, convince their Catholic spouse to break communion.
I do not think that just because two Catholics marry it all works out (we know that’s sometimes not the case, too) but it is knowingly joining oneself for life to someone who may not agree on things like the Eucharist, contraception, marriage itself, etc…this could be a beautiful marriage, or a very, very heavy cross. Take the pre-marriage preparations seriously, and don’t gloss over warning signs. Have those conversations BEFORE “death do us part” 👍

[bogdanique]

Thank you both father Gregory and PWA for this beautiful short talk!

[bluesman]

Can I ask for prayers? I'm at the "more than ready" stage and keep trying. Thank You.

[CatholicKatherine]

I feel like dating non Catholics can be the same thing as dating luke warm Catholics. I tend to date guys that do not go to church, but grew up going to church. Personally for me on dating apps I filter to only Catholics. At this point I am 28 - I have waited long enough - I will keep waiting for a Catholic.

[flyingphoenix]

I think the world has changed substantially in the last 25 years. These days, I think a commitment to, yearning for, and practice of Christian faith is more important than mere denominational adherence. A nominal "Catholic" who attends mass less than 5 times a year is almost certainly going to be less complementary as a partner than a Protestant/non-denom/Orthodox who is spiritually active. I also have seen more spiritually-active non-Catholics come to a rich practice of Catholicism than I have lapsed Catholics regain their faith and practice (and those who do often do so only briefly to placate his/her spouse). These are just my anecdotes and observations, however, so take them as such.

[rosariopelobello]

Thank you, Father Gregory…well explained,

[camythomas]

Thank you Fr. Gregory and Matt Fradd. You've been a huge help through these years through this ministry on youtube.
Do know, that your Prudent insights, and the conversation on Pints between Matt and the various other Believing Catholics has encouraged this Catholic to come back deeper into faith and even has been instrumental in preaching in the jungles of Papua New Guinea.