why does every video essay start like this.

*deep sigh* I guess you all are making me talk about Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. If I must.

#videoessay

[HelloFutureMe]

but if we didn't awkwardly pause how would you know how jaded, cynical, and insightful we are

[Alibaba-leku]

I want this whole video essay to be released weekly in 20 second increments

[augustday]

He's got a bookshelf behind him, that's how you know he's an intelligent and educated person!

[guitarsimon]

If you’d looked 20% sadder and drank water instead this could’ve also been the start of an apology video.

[arenkai]

You forgot the "I didn't want to make this video..."

[_Marsh]

"Capitalism is bad and no other show tackled this topic as effectively as Mr Bean did. But first, a word from our sponsor..."

[d-maproductions]

The video essay “why Mickey Mouse is funny”, the beginning of the video: “capitalism”

[Mcf]

Every cell in my body was screaming that he was going to say “capitalism” and I was fucking right, this is perfect

[Taikamuna]

I thought "Man carrying thing" was just a joke related to the video but I just realized that it's indeed your channel name lol

[GhostGum]

This really says a lot about our society.

[ErmenBlankenberg]

Oh yes, the classic "opening bottle of alcohol at the start of the video to suggest how exhausting the topic at hand is and how upset the essayist will get over the course of the video" move.

[mudabeeb]

"The problem with Bob the Builder" *png of bob on a blurred grayscale background with VHS filter*

[FPSDIESEL]

In 19 seconds I have not seen someone convey so much with zero filler. It's like a good version of the thing it's parodying.

[MrMarshGames]

There is also those people who put a sound byte of a tape going into a VCR after every segment.

[jaromstrong]

I feel like the whole "exasperatedly opening a bottle of alcohol as the video starts" is a very Lindsay Ellis thing lol

[sami]

Before we explore the dangers of consumerism at how it effects our media, let's have a word from today's sponsor
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[heck_n_degenerate]

I was waiting for you to ask into the camera:

“Why does every video essay…, start like This~?”

[VHS click sound effect & cut to black title card]

[Classical Beethoven Piano music plays as b-roll starts]

“Capitalism.” [cut to speaker with widened, knowing eyes]

[Music shifts to something more modern and drastically higher bpm]

“But wait, we’re getting ahead of ourselves…”

[Xineal]

it's an ironic visual prop to indicate how essayists know they're about to get pretentious (bringing in a lot of academic books and philosophers), while also conveying a sense of chaotic "homey/of the people" vibe (drinking in apparently mid-day like an alcoholic) that appeals to the YouTube home video aesthetic.

[jekizer]

It's the "WHATs up guys" for the "I am very smart" crowd.

[KITT.]

0:07 That awkward nod while staring into the camera gave me secondhand embarrassment.

And it’s hilariously accurate too, even for a parody video