Why Hoping for Narcissist Therapy is a Dangerous Trap

🔴 New Course: Unplug From The Matrix Of Narcissism

[Goldensunrise-]

I didn’t start to recover until I completely accepted that there was no point in hoping for any improvement, in how they were behaving towards me. To fully take on board, that it doesn’t matter what you say or do or what you don’t say or do, they will continue to cause you harm, this is the point of your liberation. The more you try to tell them that they are hurting you & how, the more information you give them, to strike you where it hurts the most. There is zero safety in being involved with these people

[EusebiaSteiner]

Facts. With labels comes understanding with understanding comes compassion ( if you’re a decent person) and thats enough to make you a target to the exact abuse of a narcissist.

[QX-xquj]

Absolutely right!
•Infringing upon boundaries
•not listening
•no respect for desires
•hurting (!)
• etc., ...
Is more than enough to say I'm out.
The point of NO return.
With or without diagnosis.
Thank you Richard🙏🏻⚘️

[samco]

Ok so binge watching these shorts. I do get that glimmer of hope when I started to think of compassion and empathy and see some flicker that he has self awareness… and want to go to counselling! But there’s a part of me that feels I would get absolutely destroyed in counselling if we got an unaware therapist - because even when the cops have been called on us having fights, I’ve always been the one blamed. It’s actually whacked.

[gbaybayc]

Exactly!!!! Take the term away, the psychology, and look at it all in terms of boundaries + how you feel inside.

[ashr]

The thing that did it for me was watching them be “nice”, “sweet”, “charming”, and “decent” to other people… but, not me. I could then see that they were choosing… every minute… of every day… to hurt me specifically. The entirety of my feelings just fell away. That and the gaslighting. I started to record all of our conversations, and would go back and see that I wasn’t crazy. I did hear it right. I wasn’t overreacting. I wasn’t making things up. I wasn’t hearing what I wanted to hear.

[jinxypop]

This is very helpful!! Just to leave it at “they wouldn’t respect my boundaries”. No matter how many times I reminded them their behavior was not acceptable to me. They continued to lie and break my trust. So glad I left that friendship.

[leecampion]

I know he's not my problem anymore!!
FREEDOM IS SO SWEET❤

[rjjrbrem]

Jordan Peterson opened my eyes with the words “surround yourself with people who want the best for the best part of you”. I deny access to people who don’t share my values of kindness not niceness.

[corinam]

Exactly! Nothing I do helps the situation because they Don't believe they are doing Anything wrong.

[RedEarthAA]

I came to the same conclusion.
Ive been gaslit to the point where i no longer trust my own judgments...on anything...using the following question, I managed to see through my own crap.

Even if im judging her as a narcissist, even if I'm over reacting, even if I'm misjudging the situation, even if my own mental health is part of the problem.... Do I deserve to be never heard, my boundaries infringed daily, to be yelled at as a primary form of conflict resolution?

The answer was always no.
So I ended it within days.

[Pianoteacherpeter]

Basically if someone is treating you in a way that isn’t acceptable to you, then if possible you should leave that person, especially if you believe you have been treating them with effort, kindness and compassion.

[Amanda-ifwn]

They are insulting you, ignoring you to make you grovel and breaking your boundary’s. Bam they decided for you! Move on 👍

[NIASUN]

I think this is such a valid point. Sometimes, we have a need to categorize because we're trying to understand the person in a way that allows us to maintain the relationship. Instead, as you've stated, we should simply walk away from people who consistently hurt and disrespects us. Period. It's really the only way not to become victims of these very toxic people.

[Jane-xnmm]

Thank you. I'm glad I've learned about narcissism I wish I had sooner but I'm tired of the word. Some people even have it confused and use the word entirely to much. If they infringe on my boundaries, don't listen to me, won't respect my desires and do things that hurt me, some or all, I'm done.

[elsh]

I've just had to put my foot down with my own teenage child. It is absolutely heartbreaking when you truly love someone, but they are abusive and have zero regard for your boundaries and safety.

People who behave like this need to be told "no" - that is a compassionate thing to do. The more people say no to them, the higher chance there is of them realising that they need to change. But we should not be holding our breath while getting beat down by them!

[EagleOxford]

This could definitely help some people who still believe that these people are going to change. I am one of these people.
Don't get me wrong, they absolutely do change, they get worse. They are in manipulation training every day, and they are learning how to do it better(worse).
🕊️❤️🍀🧠🎶💪🏼

[kristycrain]

Yes, this is so true! I've lived the journey of narcissistic abuse and finally got to the point of accepting it for what it was and no longer used the term "narcissism" so that I could move on in my personal recovery.

[privateprivate]

True! As many videos on narcissism as I’ve watched and as much as I’ve learned, particularly as they are rarely diagnosed, probably one of the major things blocking people from the cut and run, isn’t simply diagnosis, but it having a name. It may also be used, by enablers to tell you, “As you can’t diagnose and label them and as they haven’t been diagnosed by a professional (and likely never will), I guess you’re STUCK!” Not really. Whether Paul Simon calls them Al or not, they’re abusive (verbally, emotionally, psychologically), undermining, disrespectful and u don’t have to put up with that, whether they’re friend, family or neighbor. However, if YOUR standards are such, that you need to overlook all of that, while praying for the day they become open to treatment, as they kick the crap out of your life, then buckle up Buttercup. Because I’ll be gone.

[dianadiehl]

It took me years to get to the point where I could say, this isn't about them, this is about me: I deserve better. And then to do something about it. I am reminded of the movie Network, in which a character yells, "I am mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore."