Why Other People Don’t Understand INFJ Personality Types

Most INFJ personality types have had the experience of feeling misunderstood by other people. Many INFJs have the feeling that people in their lives think they know them, but actually have it all wrong, or they don’t know the INFJ at all.

When an INFJ personality type tries to explain themselves to others, it often makes things worse. The INFJ might receive blank looks and puzzled stares from others, and this makes the INFJ feel even more weird and out of place. It also affects the self-esteem of INFJs when they continuously try to communicate with people, but then feel blocked in this communication. This reinforces the feeling most INFJ personality types have that they are just so different it is impossible for anyone else to ever understand them.

The reason it’s so hard for most people to understand INFJ personality types and INFP personality types is because these are two MBTI personality types that have a completely different system of values from most of the population. The majority of the population is achievement-oriented, and people who are achievement-oriented are mostly focused on themselves and their lives. They are concerned with personal goals, and they value status, reward, and accomplishment. They are very connected with society’s idea of “success” and they tend to measure their personal worth by the way society sees them. They are focused on “winning” and value competitiveness and aggressiveness as good personality traits.

INFJs and INFPs are not usually achievement-oriented, and so these values and goals don’t make sense to them. Watch the video to find out more.

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[drinajgb]

The older I get the more I value the company of my dogs and nature. People are vexing. I’m perfectly happy in my solitude with a few connections I see infrequently. I live my alone time to garden and walk and read. Thank you.

[maricarurmeneta]

As an INFJ, I always get misunderstood and I'm the one who always understand.

[cvent]

INFJ here. When I was younger, I would try and explain myself or ask particular questions, and people would look at me like I was really stupid or naive. I always knew that what I was saying wasn't dumb but rather on a higher plane than these ppl could begin to understood. I've never been competitive, I could care less. I do value ppl and relationships more than achievements. I despise small talk, gossip, etc. Too many interesting things to talk about. And yes, I love animals and nature. Feel the most comfortable with a very small group of friends and family who get me.

[sarah.j.]

Because we don't feel the need to do all the silly antics and dances people do to get through social situations. We're confident, genuine, not interested in answering endless personal questions to entertain others' curiosity, & don't want anything to do with sketchy people. INFJ is a person to accomplish something with.

[eyefreely]

I care less about what others think about me....

I care more about why other people don't understand me...

[mr.goodwrench]

I believe that most folks don't understand us INFJ's due to not having any understanding of the "methods to our madness". They will complain at us until they see that we have come up with a better more efficient way of performing tasks. We take the time to think things through in order to make work centers a better more efficient place. We also have more of a tendency to submit a suggestion to fix something rather than to just complain and whine.

[yukio_saito]

I almost give up making others understand me. I choose carefully who to share with and keep my circle small ⭕

[ruthlessjones]

As an ENFP y’all are some of my favorites. INFJs are super interesting if people would just listen.

[soapyart]

This type is not abnormal. I meet people in South America and Mexico that are able to understand me easily. This is only a western society anti personality. I feel normal when I'm in other countries. Blessings to all my dear sisters and brothers, I'm Xavienne

[guidedbywind]

"Everybody has the capacity for growth and change" Please don't hate me for having serious doubts about that...

[IndigoChild]

We are just waiting for that one person who sees what’s underneath the surface. Unfortunately most people judge a book by its cover.
Brilliant video.

[colonelgraff]

What’s transparent and obvious to us is unclear and obscure to others.

[anonygent]

Hyper-competitive INTJ here... I understand and appreciate INFJ's. I prefer to date INFJ's because you're like me but with the warm fuzzies I lack.

[annchurchill]

I was an emergency psychiatric therapist, but I did too well, and my supervisor got mad and I had to leave.She was so nasty that the entire staff quit in one day due to how she was ":persecuting" me.I have lost 3 jobs this way. I can read people well, am intutive and am an empath. I am glad I was able to retire as my ability to help people and "heal" them in a sense, is threatening to people at the level of supervisor.I have never once tried to draw attention to myself; just the opposite.But other people comment, and it gets back to the supervisor.an INFJ.

[DonTrump-svsi]

One proof that an INFJ or INFP can use to know our way is closer to a higher good is that when people experience NDEs (near death experiences) they always report that our loved ones and relationships were the most important and that they wish they had concentrated more on this aspect. I could be oversimplifying but this just stood out when i thought about it.

[BasedGodEmperorTrump]

I'm not some "big brain" or anything but there's discrepancies between myself and others when I'm communicating with them. After I say something, I feel like I have to "dumb down" or put in poor layman's terms for them to understand me.

[simondevos]

The INFJ is content just being themselves, while others seeking meaningless values, just to be accepted by the popular traditional conventional culture, My observation is that is an addiction to be accepted, an insecure individuals for them to find some kind of fulfillment.
Which leads to disappointment. They are insecure . A prisoner of the TRADITIONAL CONVENTIONAL SOCIETY EXPECTATIONS. a very sad
Situation were you can be easily manipulated, controlled, and lie too. And you can see this on to day to day basis

[erikam]

Thank you for your kindness and explaining my difficult life as an INFJ. I resigned my job that I loved end of August just because the environment was so toxic. Tested 94% empathic and 6% social while in the companies attempt to get harmony within.
At the moment I just want to be completely alone and not talk for weeks on end 😢

[dianachoi]

The older I get and the more I understand myself as an INFJ the less I need for other people to understand me and the less importance I give to being misunderstood which really has been a theme in my entire life.

[artwyoming]

INFJ describes me to the core! Life has been very difficult and now I finally understand why! I have been an art teacher for 32 years. Becoming a teacher was a miracle in itself. I retire this spring and am looking forward to being an artist on my own, going outdoors, celebrating the beauty of nature through my art, and enjoying the peacefulness of being by myself.