Facing Your Shadow: Become Your True Self | Being Well

Dr. Rick and I explore one of the most interesting concepts in psychology: Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow. The shadow includes the “the things a person has no wish to be,” the uncomfortable aspects of ourselves that we deny or ignore. Facing those parts can be difficult, but becoming aware of the shadow, accepting it, and integrating it allows us to embrace all of who we are.

We start by explaining what the shadow is, where it comes from, and why it’s valuable. Rick shares some examples of shadow material, what we lose by leaving them behind, and how we can start reintegrating them. I talk about modern approaches to shadow work, and viewing the shadow through a less dualistic lens. We then map out the “typical” path of what is usually a highly individualized process.

Hope you enjoy it!

Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
1:45 Defining the shadow - things we leave out, or don’t care to know
4:30 Individuation
12:15 Some examples of shadow material
18:50 What do we lose by not incorporating the shadow?
23:45 Agency, creativity, authenticity, and unrecognized capabilities
26:25 Patience, knowing your why, inner refuge, and befriending parts
31:40 Acceptance,, awareness of projection, and being in dialog with our shadow
38:00 Deliberate practice, stepping into the wild, and showing curiosity
46:30 The golden shadow, and accepting impulses vs. acting on them
55:40 Recap

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I'm not a clinician, and what I say on this channel should not be taken as medical advice.

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[KayaBoBaya]

I watch this channel just to feel less depressed in general sometimes. The relationship between the two of you is contagiously heartwarming. Keep up the great work!

[whatdoyoulivefor]

THE Dr. Rick Hanson started his career in his forties?!!!! 😮 So inspiring. That's when I'll be starting mine! ✨😌🕊️

[rearview]

Seeing your father son relationship is already of great value. Thank you both.

[jacquelinecaron]

Dr. Hanson, as someone who has lifelong experience with “the jungle” (intrusive thoughts) I so appreciate your vulnerability and willingness to offer your own experiences. By doing so you thereby normalize them for the rest of us, many of whom are too ashamed to admit to having them. I’ve had them too about people I love including my grandmother and more recently postpartum my son - very different than a compulsion to actually harm. It’s very disturbing when the thoughts arise but they are in fact just thoughts. Thank you for touching on this taboo and very important subject!

[manjinder-dx]

I really love listening to you two on this podcast, playfully encouraging each other to grow, fuelled by a genuine love for each other. Forever- inspiring, do-able. A wonderful gift for all humanity!

[don-ebfj]

Great topic, and I really appreciate Rick's handling of the "Golden Shadow" aspects that aren't often addressed. From my personal explorations I find that the repression of those "gentler" aspects of self that were unable to defend themselves is perhaps the most problematic and tragic of all, limiting the efficacy of the individual in pursuing or even recognizing positive needs and goals. The threat those parts were confronted with caused other parts to become defensive, even vicious toward them (inner critic), furthering the suppression in pursuit of "safety" at the cost of being "invisible". Even upon recognition of this dynamic, it appears that there is still no place in the outer world for them to express, for acceptance without exploitation, further encouraging the defending parts and hampering integration efforts as well as practical matters. It's a very resistant arrangement.
I have been approaching this issue through use of "semi-active imagination" for almost 2 years, playing out the "characters" in an internal narrative drama with attempts to write them out; I usually find my literary skills insufficient to the task, and the conscious awareness unable to hold and convey the depth and nuance of the subconscious imagery and emotional/ conceptual associations that emerge - as Joseph Campbell and many others have observed, words are inadequate symbols. Of course I don't have the formal training to prepare for such an undertaking and would not have chosen to pursue it. If events had not "conspired" to crack my subconscious open like the San Andreas faultline under my feet, which I fell into, I would not have. Carl Jung warned about the dangers of taking up these "quests" unprepared, and his own experiences with "psychosis" that led to his Red Book stand as his example. However, I can only imagine that almost NO ONE actively CHOOSES to do this and that many others besides myself find themselves overwhelmed and overmatched by this involuntary process due to crisis. So, how DOES an average "disordered" person prepare for such an event, and how does one who finds himself on an unfamiliar ocean under alien stars navigate the hazards and bring back the gold from the shadow? A followup video with some practical guidance would be a real treasure for the world, and a lifesaver for those of us awash in heavy seas. Thanks Rick and Forrest, great content as usual.

[Ingcambut]

Watching you from South Africa. You and your dad inspired me to go back to university in my 40s. You're truly a blessing to humanity. I feel like a child again. I am learning to finally accept who I am. Thank you

[jacquelinecaron]

Your podcast is phenomenal. I look forward to each episode. Thank you to you and your father, Dr. Hanson for all your efforts!

[blueberriesrfine]

I love the two of you together! It warms my heart to hear you having professional conversations and still saying, "Dad". So sweet. 😊

[peacefulisland]

Thank you for being my favourite podcast.
This topic is in my face every day at my job of over 20 years. Hundreds of members of the public moment to moment to practice with 40 hours a week.
Not long ago I resented it deeply and tried to leave more than once. Now it's my "charnel ground" often; a place for me to overcome fear and recognize others' fears. God presents me with the situations that will show me myself and give me the space to exercise free will. Controversial as that may be.
These shadows of mine want to be freed up; I know because others see them arise on my face and reflect back how they affect the world.
Red flags abound.

Hand shakes to you both. Deep bows.

[bink]

This is the most useful info I've seen on The Shadow.

[batichi]

I really appreciate the idea of the golden shadow. I'm slowly recognizing how much of my personality was tucked away because at some point it was considered a problem for someone of authority, some perceived authority like poor friendships or mentors as well. This included things like, singing and dancing in my own home, listening to music without headphones, stimming (leg shaking, tongue clicking etc) and even in some cases just talking out loud to myself to hear how a thought sounds. I've been in a safe space to live for a decade now... and so much of those actions feel wrong or disturbing or not allowed even though my abusers are miles away.

[eli]

I love the idea of getting reconnected with the wilderness of our Earth and with the wilderness of our minds. I think this was an excellent exploration of shadow work. And I agree, it sounds very difficult, but you both have inspired me to keep embarking on the journey of unpacking and accepting my mind for what it is. Thanks again for another great one🐶

[robynparkinson]

This non dualistic reframing is so very helpful. Thank you.
Rick briefly mentioned trauma as a cause of repression, and mentioned anger at his parents. I believe many viewers would benefit from a deeper dive into this angle of shadow work, where for some of us, our id barely developed and our shadow is disproportionately large...

[jennw]

"The shadow is not necessarily always an opponent, in fact, they are exactly like any human being with whom we have to get along. Sometimes by giving in, sometimes by resisting, sometimes by giving love, whatever the situation requires. The shadow becomes hostile only when ignored or misunderstood." -Marie Louise Von-Franz

[globalwellbeing]

I worked my way through a book, Romancing the Shadow, by Zweig, I wouldn't say the entire process was complete but it certainly helped me at the time .

[whatwhyandwhos]

so beautiful to watch you both engage, , , , one of the best channels on YT

[beatsg]

I would really love it if you included a bibliography at the end of episodes (i.e. the description/comments/video).
It'd be great, for example, to know where the Marie-Louise von Franz quote is from to be able to look up later. This is such a juicy topic. I'd love to read about it and do some more.

[ouo]

So thankful I found you Forrest. I came across a video by chance earlier today without your dad, and intrigued by you, I watched another. Your father’s books saved my life after a traumatic experience of psychosis.
They were truly instrumental in restoring my psychospiritual wellbeing.

[lizhampson]

Hey you two. Often listen to your podcasts and find them very helpful. Thanks. 👏 This one in particular has been really thought provoking. I need to listen again, ponder more, re read 'care of the soul' which has been on my shelf for years now is the time? You're certainly making Jungian ideas and shadow work more palatable, digestible, less overwhelming? Not sure which yet 🤔 but thanks for sharing your tips 😊