Restaurant Etiquette: How to Dine Out Like a Gentleman

Thanks also to our server, Patrick Warden, for a superb dining experience.

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Gentleman's Gazette
#restaurantetiquette #diningetiquette #notsponsored

SHOP THE VIDEO:

Today, we talk about restaurant etiquette or how to dine out like a gentleman without embarrassing yourself or committing any faux pas. Restaurant dining presents an interesting human dynamic similar to flying in an airplane, you're in a public space and you have to behave in a way so others around you are comfortable and you are, too. Also, dining in a restaurant represents a lot of a person's etiquette and social skills and because of that, it's very popular with employers to take potential employees or key leadership people out to a restaurant to see how they behave. So without further ado, let's walk through the essential restaurant etiquette that you can apply for business dinners, celebrations, events, or dates. Before you even step inside the restaurant, there are a few things to consider beforehand.

Rule number 1, make sure you can afford it so you don't stretch yourselves too thin, financially. Eating out isn't cheap, especially in a group situation, it can be sometimes awkward to split bills or come up with something so just going to a restaurant with a mindset of ordering water and the cheapest appetizers won't always work.

Also, if you've specific food preferences like gluten-free or if you're allergic to seafood or anything else, make sure the restaurant can accommodate that because having a long ordeal with the waiter isn't the best solution. Most importantly, make a reservation. It's the easiest way to skip a line. If the restaurant doesn't accept the reservation, it's maybe not the best place to go out for a business dinner or a date because it's completely embarrassing to wait with a business guest or a date and you have zero control about how long it's gonna take or not.

Now, in a restaurant, there are typically a few modifications. First of all, while at a private home, the silverware for the entire meal will be laid out on the table, that's not the case at a restaurant. Typically, servers bring you the appropriate silverware for your course, maybe the spoon for the soup or a steak knife for the meat. If there is a lot of silverware on the table, it means you start from the outside and work your way in. Also in the US, you will often find two forks and one knife; that means they'll bring you another knife for your main course or sometimes they want you to reuse your knife. Personally, I always like to have new utensil for every course so I don't mix any flavors. If you need more silverware, simply ask, they are always happy to accommodate you.

If you travel abroad, try to understand a tipping culture. In Germany, it's okay to round up and more is not expected. In Japan, it's downright rude and people won't accept your tip even if you offered it to them. Once you've paid, depart in a reasonable amount of time. In the US, typically, restaurants have multiple seatings a night so I would say 30 minutes after you paid is a good time to leave. If they're not busy and there are many open tables, you can stay as long as you want.

0:00 Introduction
1:07 MAKE SURE YOU CAN AFFORD IT
2:26 1A. SHOW UP ON TIME
3:20 DRESS ACCORDINGLY
3:52 WHAT ABOUT COATS AND HATS?
4:45 MEETING YOUR FELLOW DINERS
5:32 HOW TO SIT AT A RESTAURANT
6:13 HOW TO ENGAGE WITH STAFF
7:28 HOW AND WHAT TO ORDER
9:16 KEEP YOUR PHONE OFF THE TABLE
9:42 HAVE GOOD TABLE MANNERS
14:10 2. DON'T GIVE IN TO PEER PRESSURE
15:52 COMPLAINTS
20:52 ONLINE REVIEWS
22:01 OUTFIT RUNDOWN

[nathanborms]

Shoutout to Preston for being the third wheel in this one

[derlachendevagabund]

My father taught me - even if you are invited, always have enough money with you to pay for everyone if necessary

[morningstar]

Can’t wait to apply those skills at McDonald’s.

[emceha]

Hey man. I'm a guy in my 30s, raised in poor rural Poland. Now I live in Copenhagen and I feel like a Neanderthal every time I have to be social with my coworkers or Danish friends. Your videos really help me, keep up good work Sven.

[nancyoffenhiser]

A funny story Sven. My father worked for the JC Penney company and when he went for his lunch with Mr. Penney he was warned by the secretary because she liked him, to taste his food first before he salted it. Mr. Penney didn't trust anyone who seasoned their food before tasting it.
My father was hired.

[bosvigos]

This fascinates me, as do all your vids. I am an Englishwoman and was taught all of these things from an early age. I was born when women wore hats and gloves, as did men, as a matter of course. It is nice to see people being educated about these things still. Thank you so much.

[scsmith]

My grandparents would have loved the Gentleman's Gazette. I usually visited her and my grandfather at Christmas time. We always went to a nice restaurant at least once during the visit. I was given a proper etiquette lesson from my grandmother each visit. When we were visiting my grandparents would always pay the bill if it was just us at the dinner but if there were other friends of theirs joining then one interesting thing my grandfather would do would excuse himself during the meal or ahead of the meal to meet with the maitre di' in private. He would settle the bill at that time with the establishment. At the end of the meal, I remember the staff of the establishment would always come to the table and thank my grandfather for his patronage and ask that we all visit again soon. As I grew older I realized that he was paying ahead and tipping for service. I do not remember ever having poor service. Perhaps it is due to him settling the bill and tip in this manner.

[aaronsakulich]

Not going to lie: not sure how this ended up in my recommendations and I was a bit wary, considering the plethora of video series for gentlemen out there. However, the advice regarding wine tasting and when not to send back food (i.e. if it's your own dumb fault) is DEAD ON. I have rarely heard this in these sort of videos, and never as succinctly. Well done!

[virksaab]

Well I'm from India and about a month ago i came here in Canada for study, what I noticed first thing was that people over here care for each other. I went to a mall and while entering A guy was on phone and as he was coming out i was entering he came out and hold the door for me even though he was on the phone which really surprised me. So now whenever i get the chance i do the same thing so that I can get mixed up with these guys.

[joshuacormier]

Thank you so much, Sven & others. I am a Canadian who personally sees traditional courtesy & etiquette vanishing by the day. This is helpful as I desperately wanted to bring some of this beautiful kindness back to the everyday gentleman. Again, thank you!

[Officialhelpkenet]

Really bad guide, I went to McDonald's with my gal and there was no host to greet us and in the only wardrobe I could find (which was very far into the restaurant) they said I wasn't allowed to be there. Then we sat at our table for a solid hour before any waiter showed up, and he had the audacity to tell us to go up to a counter to order the meal!

[samtsang]

A tip on dining with kids is to feed them a light meal and keep them involved in conversations. I've had my kids dine with me in white table cloth restaurants since they're toddlers. They behave best when they're not famish. If we keep them engaged and if we keep our inside voice on, they'll also follow our lead.


On paying the bill, if you're dining with Chinese clients or even hosts (not Chinese-American, but Chinese-Chinese), you'll find that they'll always insist on paying because that's the cultural etiquette. However, it's best to at least pretend to fight for the bill with them, even if they're the host. Fighting for the bill is considered part of being polite. Just letting them pay after they insist is considered rude. Of course, it's even worse if you're the host and your client paid. Don't expect to close any deal if you've done that.

[benjaminlehman]

Etiquette, dressing up, and high class things have always fascinated me. Love this channel so much.

[evonica]

11:55 In some eastern cultures we are taught that “you should go to the food, the food does not come to you”. So you would meet the food halfway or bend your head towards it, as it’s a sign of humility. To sit upright and bring the food to you can be seen as arrogant or uncultured. It’s amazing how some dining customs can differ so dramatically between cultures!

[georgelush]

If the glass has a stem, hold it by the stem. Yes! The stem is there so the temperature of your hand does not affect the temperature of the beverage.

[CaptainSpaulding]

My in-laws invite us to dinner at a rather stuffy place that I was very uncomfortable going to for the longest time. Your videos have heklped give me the knowledge and the confidence to not only be comfortable, but I’m one of the best dressed gents in the place now and the men all stop to look haha. Thanks for all you do!

[Duncan]

"ideally, you should order off the menu without modifications" as a Chef I appreciate this point. other than reasons related to allergies, it kind of hurts a bit when someone arbitrarily decides "I don't want xyz on my food". There often is a lot of thought, effort and experimentation put into these dishes we create, and we do so with a passion for what we do. So it can be quite annoying to the kitchen staff when people want to make modifications to their food based solely of of what they think might make a dish better.

[謝宗祐-jx]

When the corporal in our company asked where I learn my dining etiquette from, I said that I learned from Gentlemen's Gazette 👍

[mahdavimail]

It's so interesting, I am from Iran and I grew up there. It's not written but our parents have learned us almost all of these rules traditionally. How small the world is!! Now I'm in North America and things are the same! Here we added some comfort to the rules which I find good. Thanks for video.

[Akula]

Marvelous, as usual. More and more often I find there is a lot of comfort in knowing how to behave like a gentleman. When you understand proper etiquette and the reasons behind it, you can be relaxed knowing others aren't judging you negatively. Even if I am "low man on the totem pole" and may even not be dressed as expensively as others, they often forget and simply treat me as one of their own – because I am acting the part.

I've often heard the excuse for poor manners or even the resistance to learning them actually results from ignorance masquerading to the juvenile "I just want to be me, " "Those rules are just made up by people trying to act more important, " and "I don't care what other's think... who died and left them to judge me?" The answers, in order, are 1. You are being you... a narcissistic buffoon 2. Those rules came into being as a way to show respect to others, an action wasted on a pretentious, self-centered child like yourself, and finally, 3. You are judged by everything you do. Your disrespect of others leaves the court of public opinion with only one verdict... you are condemned as a person of little if any value in a civilized society. You should get a job as a lighthouse keeper or fire lookout at Gila National Forest in New Mexico.

Thanks. I'm glad I got that off my chest.