failing at my self-employment dream - my decision

2 years went by since I chose the path of Freedom. I quit the corporate world to start working for myself, as a filmmaker and energy healer. By far, the most daunting and insecure road I've ever driven in my life.
But I kept going. I held on to my dad's successful self-employed story, to keep fighting for my own.
I knew I was about to succeed, so I was never worried about money. I was happy with living on my savings, until there were no more.
I screwed up. I failed. I lost the game of Freedom.
My independence, my optimism, my dreams... In no time, they all vanished into thin air.
Today, I need my life to change. I can't keep on barely surviving. I made a decision.

♫ Music from
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[arrow-bv]

Who gets excited every time Verdant post a video🙋🏽‍♀️❤️ I love her content I think is really inspiring no matter how difficult things can be. If you are reading this keep going don’t give up ❤🌻

[DiederikDeReuse]

You more than deserve to shine bright in this world! Your powerful messages, unwavering desire for selfgrowth and inner strenght give me and so much other people hope and energy to do the same. <3

[sundhiaslarashati]

For as long as I can remember, I have been wanting to live alone in a wooden cottage by the lake. But now, here I am, smack dabbed in the middle of a bustling city, hustling every day for a goal I didn't set, to please people I don't know.
Your video gives me so much comfort that I began crying as soon as I finish it. Thank you for keeping your spirit up. May the universe give you strength to keep going. Much love 💚💚💚

[robiwerema]

You are an amazing poet, storyteller and filmmaker. Your videos inspire more people than you know. I think I shed a tear every time I watch your videos. Sometimes from joy for you and other times from the pain I relate to. Sending you love on your journey. We’re here to see you grow as you inspire us to do the same❤️

[sarebear]

Focusing on the hurdles and challenges doesn't mean you're negative it means you're addressing the issues now rather then ignoring your feelings for decades and then waking up when you're 50 ans, and realising youve been miserable the whole time! 💚

[angelspills]

Wow what a masterpiece!! I pray for your financial freedom so that you can make films. Deep down i sense you are destined to become one of the great filmmakers of our time. Your films would win at all the festivals, I know this in my heart. Keep pushing, don't give up.

[jarpaz]

For someone as determined as you, it's only a matter of time before he gets what he deserves. Life is full of small losses and victories, keep going, you will get what you dream of.

[berndmichaelmeier]

Simply, a Beauty, with a beautiful soul. Stay strong!

[JoeSimonin]

I told every single person in my life that if the only value placed on my head was how much money I brought in then I wanted nothing more to do with them. What has this world come to? I know it is hard either way, but being a slave to this evil world financial system is no better than the difficulties of leaving it behind. We have values as human beings far beyond the junk we were not born with and will not take with us. Your channel has helped me far beyond words I can write here. I cut out a lot of stress by a complete renovation of my values.

[DarleneA]

I am currently going thru somewhat a similar thing. I've been self employed for 7 yrs and still not where I want to be. Going thru a funk and it's affecting my creativity. Contemplating of going back to work somewhere even just temporarily just to take the pressure off. Thank you for sharing your experience. We can do this! Hugs xoxo

[roberts.]

"It Is No Measure of Health To Be Well Adjusted to a Profoundly Sick Society."

I love watching your journey ❤️

[MountainMariner]

Your video editing, audio, lighting and narrative skills are strong. Best of luck in your journey through life. You have skills and will do fine.

[jamilavibar]

Verdant, you’re a hero, inspiration, and role model!

[johnnybrau]

This resonates a lot with me. I also need to repair my relationship with money... I quit my corporate job, 3 years ago, because I was near from a burnout and, fortunatly, I had savings. That money was earned with a lot of sacrifice and pain, and now I am almost without it... I was in this situation before and it seems that I'm repeating old patterns, but I know that this is temporary and that I will be in a better situation in the future. It's not easy to get back on track... but for some reason I have the feeling that this time will be different, this time will be different. Thank you for your inspiring messages 🙏❤

[susie]

Your videos are the most inspiring I have ever seen. Not only is your message profound, but the quality of your filming, and how you pull each video together with such beautiful imagery is a profound experience. I have experienced many failures in my life and 20 years ago it was turned upside down and I ended up going back into teaching which is not what I wanted to do... I wanted to be a farmer. But I stuck with it because my vision was to prepare myself for retirement and I ended up having to quit work early due to surgery. So now even though money is tight I am able to live alone, not work anymore, and take care of all of my furry friends. I did that by believing in myself. You give me renewed hope and strength that in my senior years I will find a way to bloom and blossom in my own little part of the world so that my spirit doesn't grow stale. Thank you for bringing encouragement and Life to my heart. I often wonder if you will have a future in filming because you truly truly have a gift that I have never seen on youtube. You capture life in a way that no one else can. Thank you for being you!

[birdee]

I have tried this three times before. I feel your pain, I can relate so deeply with you. Today, I decided, I will return to the "corporate way" for a short time. And then I shall try freedom again. For the last time. Because I have learned from my mistakes and am going to succeed - at last.

[nicolenelson]

The most important lesson: Live the life you love. Sure, you have to endure hardships. But it helps us learn how big our dream is and learn everything in our power how to turn it into reality. Never give up and never lose hope. Keep your head held high, and believe. I want to thank you for always being real. I look forward to see how successful you will be.

[Onushreeee]

Girl I wanna tell you one thing, I found your channel, binge watched 4-5 videos and only one thought came that is why does this girl bring negative side of everything .All I know is your negative art is more powerful than the "positivie art"and that's the reason why many people like me still waits for your video to be released.
Also I feel there's nothing called negative or positive, it's just what humanbeings living in a society identifies according to what pleases their convenience factor. If speaking out what's inside your heart is called being negative, I would love to see more and more of it girl. Bring it on

[stevesteel]

An amazing person that’s not afraid to share her wonderful life and inner thoughts. Verdant, you are an inspirational person that deserves a wonderful life, filled with an abundance of health, happiness and love. All our thoughts are with you, as you navigate life and be the selfless, awesome person that you truly are inside❤

[MarcelEling]

You can tell a story so well, thank you. You will never fail when you try and try again, but you knew this already from your father:)