Why Fixing Your Problems Won't Fix Your Insecurity

Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation

#shorts #drk #mentalhealth

[Zakaker]

"When you're living a life of trying to avoid disappointment, the best you can feel is relief. You can never feel accomplishment."
This hit hard. Back when I was a "gifted kid", I remember thinking about how miserable it felt to strive for perfection, because there's no such thing as success when trying to live up to that standard; only the relief of meeting the expectations, or the shame of failing to do so.

Now, as an adult, I find myself once again thinking only about the expectations I need to meet, under the delusion that once I achieve that result, I will finally be allowed to be happy. But partially thanks to content like this, I'm realizing that I should be working on learning to be happy first, regardless of whether I can match the standards in question or not, because otherwise I'll do nothing but chase higher and higher ones while never truly being fulfilled.

[texmexlink]

“When you are living a life of trying to avoid disappointment, the best you can ever feel is *relief* — you can never feel *accomplishment* .” — Dr. K, 2024

[zaidaliahmed]

It's interesting how so much of it is comes down to acceptance and really facing your own demons.

Edit: wth, I was not expecting so many likees

[AlbornozVEVO]

"fixing your insecurities" is just a way to avoid actually feeling them and figuring out what's causing them.

[nonai]

What I learned over the years is no one knows your insecurities so might as well act like you dont have any. Also people you just met don't know you so the best thing to do when shy, introverted or self conscious is to act with confidence even if its fake. You get more respect and seen in a better light that way. You don't have to be assertive or talkative but just act like you aren't scared of people. It makes a decent impression than being awkward at first.

[Majshock]

I had to find my identity to fix my insecurities

[kandyappleview]

"The solution to a problem is not always the absence of it."

Something my friends are probably tired of me saying to them 😅

[gonefishing]

Im trying to fix my avoidant attachment issues after breaking up with my ex. I broke up with her then she tried to make it work and we said we would give it another chance, then she broke up with me because I did not try enough to get better after the third time we broke up. The fact she broke up with me really shocked my reality and makes me want to change, not for her but for me. This video resonates a lot with me as I try to find balance between the ego of my career/work and my insecurities of not doing enough through my work, always trying to chase this feeling of finally be happy because of the thing I would’ve accomplished in my career. I need to rewire my brain. Thank you Dr.K

[NomadUrpagi]

You know what i am glad this channel is small it feels like a personal private session where i can reflect on myself and get freeer every day. Someone long ago implanted in me that not being as good as someone else is why i am behind so i try to outdo and meet someones expectations to this day. Letting go of shackles of being bound to opinions of people i seek approval and respect from is liberating. I knew all this before but doing something and knowikg something are very far away things from each other. So i am glad i am liberating myself to disappoint people and be fine with it. To fail and be okay with it. To be behind someone else and be totally fine, otherwise trying to always live up to someone or to please someone is exhausting and unfulfilling to yourself, the very person you should care most and be on side of. I sometimes now understand why narcissists and total egomaniacs are so happy sometimes because they server themselves first and foremost always. Yes that's an ASSHOLE behavior to others but at least they are happy with themselves and you are bound to be disliked by someone one way or another, eh?

[gavinp]

Solid. Noticing insecurities comes from a focus on other people creating a feeling in you, and you can think that focusing on the insecurity will help you be less insecure about it.

But security actually comes from working on yourself combined with not caring about what other people think.

If I just don’t care about what others think, they might not approach me, but I won’t be insecure. But if I go out and buy a nice shirt and get some nice accessories that I think look good, and I go out in the world and don’t care about how people see me, I’ll be less insecure because I don’t care how they see me, and more confident because I feel that I look good, and I’ll be approached by people as a result.

(Obviously more to the equation, but just for the sake of the example)

[therabbidt]

"But overcoming insecurity is in the mind, is in the ego, and is born of comparison and other people's opinions. The more you shed each of those things, the more free you'll be.

*And the more free you'll be from other people's expectations you are, the more motivated you'll be to actually act."*

[lourdesescudero]

I developed my aesthetics, but still feel like I make everyone uncomfortable. Like I need a justification for being somewhere. It was something I was getting over it but it came back this week when I tried to make friends at Church.

[johntheknight]

I never tried to live to some high standard, I just took the life as it went and tried to alter it little bit in my favor. I think that is the key to success. Also at some pointI somehow understood that being insecure is stupid, why would I be? I am not doing anything bad or straight up wrong and if people don't like me or what I do, it is THEM problem. If I do something bad, I learn from it.

[craftycub]

That is really.good. i have a bad habit of projecting what I believe others expectations are of me. Like i feel pressure from people sometimes because they really want to "be my friend" but from my past that means i absorb their problems and emotions and feel drained. I think me not being able to set proper boundries and people pleasing makes it very hard for me to have friendships. I want to enjoy those moments and group outings but then go home and not worry about it until next time.

[bouquetchocolatesandconfec]

Your insight on drivers of behavior “Hits Me at my CORE” being raised in an environment of comparison and shame, fuel my victim mentality..

[nicolasmoran]

I literally fixed the problem and now I'm no longer insecure about it because objectively the problem doesn't existe anymore.

[unvaccinatedmgtowfitness]

Good reminder; guys mistakenly think things like, “once I make more money then I will start approaching women”.

[peterrosqvist]

I had to find self-acceptance to fix my insecurity, and I also learned that I didn't fix my insecurity I just lived how to learn with it

[dylanrupprecht]

I suppose its not dissappinting people or their expectations that bothers me; it's feeling like im being my authentic self and still not feeling seen. Its a transparency issue ive always had in relationships, people have told me that im untrustworthy, in different states, and i have just honestly felt misunderstood anytime i try putting myself out there - when im alone in silence though, i feel genuinely free, sharing space for others though seems to directly affect my self-worth

[FromZeroToArtist]

I’m proud of myself. For someone with as many problems as I have I should be insecure…but I’m not.