7 Differences Between Love and Being In Love

What's the difference between love and being in love? Which would you rather hear someone say to you: “I love you” or “I’m in love with you”? While most people don’t realize it, loving someone and being in love with them can actually mean two very different things, especially in the world of psychology. Being in love is often associated with the early stages of a romantic relationship when things are still new and exciting. On the other hand, love is something that tends to naturally develop over time when there is friendship, understanding, and acceptance from another person. Do you want to know more on how to differentiate the two? Are you unsure if you're in love with someone or you just love them or vice versa? If so, this video is for you!

Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Morgan Franz
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Music & Sound Design: Urban Goose Studios
Animator: Naphia
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

Mikulincer, M., & Goodman, G. S. (Eds.). (2006). Dynamics of romantic love: Attachment, caregiving, and sex. Guilford Press.

Langeslag, S. J., Muris, P., & Franken, I. H. (2013). Measuring romantic love: psychometric properties of the infatuation and attachment scales. Journal of sex research, 50 (8), 739-747.

Aron, A., Fisher, H., Mashek, D. J., Strong, G., Li, H., & Brown, L. L. (2005). Reward, motivation, and emotion systems associated with early-stage intense romantic love. Journal of neurophysiology.

Hatfield, E. (2004). Passionate love, companionate love, and intimacy. In Intimacy (pp. 267-292). Springer, Boston, MA.

[vAqeii]

Difference 1: Being in love with your Diamonds in Minecraft is different than loving your Iron

[little_swan]

One big difference i’ve noticed is that when you’re in love you only see the good things about the other person but when you love someone you accept all their flaws and still love them all the same

[manishachoudhury]

Its a very famous qoute I am sure everyone has heard it..
"When you Like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you Love a flower, you water it daily. One who understands this, understands life."

[-benji-]

Who would decide to stop loving that cute kitty :(

[stayhappylittlemermaid]

Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.

[ProvocativePhilosopher]

The 7 main differences between "Love" and "Being in love":

1) Choice vs Emotion
2) Gradual vs Immediate
3) Lasting vs Fleeting
4) Challenging vs Easy
5) Sacrifice vs Support
6) Partnership vs Ownership
7) How THEY Feel vs How YOU Feel

[Thenotsosocialsocial]

I never felt the "In love" feeling with my boyfriend. I never got the butterflies, I never got the palm sweats, or the upset stomach. I never got nervous jitters or the jealous rages. I never was paranoid and in need to know where he is (unless he hasn't responded to a text asking if he got home safe). I never felt the unending desire to be near him always.

Every guy I've liked in the past has been just what I've mentioned above and I've never pursued any of those people for long. My boyfriend walked into my life as simply as a leaf would fall to the ground. I never got the "gut attraction" feeling, I never blushed or was too nervous to talk to him. He walked up to the table where me and my friends were sitting and my heart just said "This one is different", then I offered him my cold leftover snack-bar nachos and the rest was history.

[spoops]

To be honest, it took me a long time to finally realise what love actually was.

I always thought love felt like butterflies in your stomach and happiness when you heard the other person's name or voice. I always thought love was something you'd feel so strongly that you wouldn't miss it. You'd feel it instantly.

Because of how I thought, I never stayed in relationships for very long. Until I met my current boyfriend.

We used to fight a lot. I used to start fights because of my anxiety (amongst other issues). I always thought "I can't love him. I don't feel those sparks. I don't feel those good feelings. When the hell am I going to feel that?". Whenever I asked people what love feels like, they'd tell me:

"It's feeling happy when you're around that person."
"You just know."
"You feel butterflies!"

And i'd end up frustrated because I hadn't felt those things with anyone before. Of course I knew what attraction felt like. I was in relationships for a reason but I always wondered "Do I love this person?"

I've only recently (as in this year) realised what it means to love someone. You're not always going to feel those butterflies or that intense excitement when you hear their name or voice. You're not going to find them perfect forever. You'll eventually come to realise there are things you don't like about them. Things that you find weird/gross/annoying.

Love is something you work at. Love is when you want to keep that relationship going. When you will do anything to keep it strong and healthy. When you won't just leave them because of something you don't like about them or something as minor as that.



*TL;DR: I figured out what it means to love someone.*

[Savlie]

I believe that "being in love" can become "loving" if both partners put in the work. It's just that people get scared and bored after the passionate feelings go away. If you give it time these can be built into a long-lasting happy partnership.

[lyraphoenix]

I both love and am in love with my boyfriend. The chemistry and sparks between us are unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and the communication flows in such a healthy way that it’s no problem setting and respecting boundaries for each other. We talk about what is troubling each other and have mutual trust in one another. I’ve never been so happy with someone before :) ❤️

[BCSchmerker]

+Psych2Go
0:42 *Choice* vs. *Emotions*
1:18 *Gradual* vs. *Immediate*
1:57 *Lasting* vs. *Fleeting*
2:40 *Challenging* vs. *Easy*
3:17 *Sacrifice* vs. *Support*
3:56 *Partnership* vs. *Ownership*
4:27 *How They Feel* vs. *How You Feel*

[rhaulsparrow]

I know my gf doesn't love me anymore and im living in denial. She wont leave me because she knows shes all i have and i think she likes the attention. Crying has become a norm for me and i know im hurting myself in the long run. Can you guys do a video on how to let go.

[brunobucciarati]

This isn't being in love, this is a description of a crush

[MrJoon]

The difference between "like", "love", and "in love" is the same as the difference between "for now", "for a while", and "forever"

[falcongranger]

Crushes and being in love with someone is what most people feel and why they break up quickly. Loving someone is a choice and not as easy to pin down but it’s warm and comforting. It’s a safe place when you’re scared and a rope to hang on to when you want to dive through life head first. It’s never easy and sometimes it’s painful but it never fades. In fact it grows stronger the more you try to resist it. Thank you so much for this channel, you have no idea how much you have helped me through the years.

[jordibernal]

I used to think that love was about the butterflies, cute names, and having the exact same interests as me. I've been in past relationships where I thought I was in love even though they were only things that were very superficial and that they were my source of happiness, that I would be miserable without a partner. From my parents, I learned that you can't offer what you don't have. You can't bring happiness into a relationship if you don't already have it being single. From the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, I learned that real love is more than a feeling, it's a principle. Meaning the commitment is still there even when the sparks are not. It endures and bears all things, including flaws, differences, and disagreements. You'll only be as young as you are now ever again, so in the mean time, look at being single as a gift rather than a curse because there are so many opportunities you can take right now that you wont be able to once you finally settle down. So if anyone out there is panicking about being alone, or feeling insecure, don't be. You have a choice in how to look at your situation. I hope you make a great one.

[ennicahmutava]

It’s just special to be loved and to be in love. Remember to cherish those moments

[Nicnac]

"Falling in love" is the initial chemical reaction and attraction on meeting someone you click with. As time passes and you get to know the person, love will either grow or fade depending on the relationship and how you are treated. To be in love and to like someone, eventually turns to love. This is the magical trinity bestowed on few.

[hotmingyuendingfairy]

Psych2Go: *posts an update*
me: *sees the title 😐*
also me: *clicks it anyway even tho I'm single*

[susanhayley]

wow . this is real . i have never thought about this . sometimes it's interchangeable . but definitely love is on and out in the bedroom when the sex is coming . i'm used to having the best experience thx to natural drops which boost your energy like nothing