Why You're So Used To Being Silent

There are many reasons to keep quiet. Sometimes it’s better to listen, or maybe you don’t want to draw attention to yourself. Your reasons can have a negative or positive impact. But what happens when you’re quiet for so long that you get used to it? These are the reasons why you are so used to being quiet.

Writer: Dylan Swanepoel
Editor: Caitlin McColl
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Animator: Ra-Hyun Ji
Production Assistant: Thomas Kang
Youtube Manager: Cindy Cheong

REFERENCES

Herranz-Pascual, K., Aspuru, I., Iraurgi, I., Santander, Á., Eguiguren, J. L., & García, I. (2019). Going beyond quietness: Determining the emotionally restorative effect of acoustic environments in urban open public spaces. International journal of environmental research and public health, 16(7), 1284.
Buss, A. H. (1986). A theory of shyness. Shyness: Perspectives on research and treatment, 39-46.
Ishiyama, F. I. (1984). Shyness: Anxious social sensitivity and self-isolating tendency. Adolescence, 19(76), 903.
Guajardo, V. D., Souza, B. P., Henriques, S. G., Lucia, M., Menezes, P. R., Martins, M. A., ... & Fráguas, R. (2011). Loss of interest, depressed mood and impact on the quality of life: Cross-sectional survey. BMC Public Health, 11(1), 1-7.
Forgas, J. P. (2017). Mood effects on cognition: Affective influences on the content and process of information processing and behavior. Emotions and affect in human factors and human-computer interaction, 89-122.

[YumiTsui]

Do you think that silence speaks louder than words?

[haneenasad]

I've always been told "You're too quiet, why don't you talk?"

But honestly, I feel like when I DO talk, no one is really interested in LISTENING to me or to what I have to say, so I just prefer to remain silent. Also, over time I've come to realise that the more silent I am, the better I can listen to and observe people and situations from a distance, so it's a win-win situation for me. I've learned to accept and appreciate my quietness now instead of resenting it. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason after all :)

1:36 VERY relatable omg
3:39 Even more relatable lmao. It's amazing how you can see into my brain 😂

[DarkWorldQ]

The reason why I am becoming more silent is because most people either ignore me or criticize me right afterwards. I usually am more silent towards some people, not everyone.

[loopstationyt]

I was always the quiet one at school and it took me a while to not care what people thought about me. I’ve been told that I’m boring to be around which used to bother me but I realised I open up a lot more when I’m with a small group of people that I feel comfortable with. I get really vocal when I talk about topics I’m passionate about and that I find interesting. I’m just an observant person who speaks when they’re spoken to. I also find that when I would talk in a big group, no one was listening because I wasn’t the most interesting person there so it feels like learned behaviour. I was so happy when I finally found a solid friend group and was never ignored again.

[robotdude]

As a silent kid in the class. I can relate it

[neofulcrum]

I remember being called out by a classmate and my friend’s moms for being quiet.

I always think I preferred to not speak if I could help it. Or rather I wasn’t sure what to say much of. But my friends steadily brought me out of my shell.

[Aan]

Timestamps
1). Restoration 0:20
2). Getting close to people 1:10
3). You are not interested 1:59
4). Observant 2:59

Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[ike-insertname]

This vid really hit hard.
As a kid, I was always getting the lowest marks on my report cards for behavior because I talked too much. Countless times my mom had to meet with teachers to figure out a way to get me to stop talking. Now that I'm older, I find myself rarely ever talking. Half the time I cant even think of things to say, so I'm forced to say silent. Not sure what happened to me along the way, but I went from being excessively vocal to basically having 0 conversations with anyone all day (family included).

[amitbhh]

The second I saw this video, I clicked on it. I am struggling mentally and physically and am always quiet and icing our people. When I saw this, I wanted to know why I’m like this

[priximus]

Being an observant thinker coupled with being yelled at or ignored when you try to speak makes you real quiet, real quick.

[HazbinCovenWitch]

I was mostly quiet all throughout high school because my peers isolated me a lot. I was an outcast in each grade I was in. I was also quiet because I was trying not to be a target for teachers and other students to harass me. 😔

[nelly]

having social anxiety is the worst thing ever.

[Blue-mcrg]

When I was a kid, I was quiet. Although, I still struggle with speaking to this day. Back then people would usually remark on my quietness with “It's always the quiet ones” or “It's like I am talking to a brick walk!” It made me feel like I was a bad person for being afraid to speak

[samruddhigumaste]

Hey, stop scrolling down to look for timestamps, whole video from start to end need the equal priority. The words and voice are just heavenly 💕

[toomi]

For me, I find that being quiet is related to my neurodivergence, more than just being an introvert. In some situations it's gotten so bad to the point of selective mutism, and now I've got a lot of social anxiety as well. Part of the problem is having a different communication style, for example info-dumping and not liking small talk, so that joining a conversation with neurotypicals can be difficult, and often just plain boring, because I'm not interested in more mainstream conversational topics. I've realized I much prefer conversing over an activity, for example board games, where the communication rules are clearer. Feeling rejected from past experiences where I said the wrong thing, missed a social cue, talked too long about something people didn't care about, has made me feel unwanted, and thus less likely to talk again in the future... Sometimes, I have a lot to say, but I just can't bring myself to say it, out of a fear of being misunderstood. Also part of my neurodivergence is having audio processing issues, so in a large group of people at a crowded place, it's hard to even physically *hear* the conversations around me, let alone join them. Being able to communicate one-on-one with a close friend, is miles easier than with a group of strangers. (If any of this sounds relatable to you, I recommend looking into neurodivergence, namely ADHD, autism, sensory processing issues, speech disorders, as well as social anxiety, if you want to understand your struggles more.)

[seemranhoro]

I used to be silent and isolated half of my life. But I realised that being silent made me comfortable as I keep everything to myself no one ever has any argument or conflict with me. that seems nice but I realised being like this all the time, I was getting depressed and hurt by people around me. So I would say don't be silent, "where you have to speak up for yourself" and others. also it's good to be silent at times.❤

[mumboexeyeye]

I related to the second point a lot. I can still dimly recall the point where I started to feel bad about talking about the things I liked. My best friend had been taken out of school to be homeschooled instead. I was kind of adrift and no one else I tried talking to shared my nerdy interests. I remember forming the thought that would start a long, miserable pattern of self-destruction. "No one likes the stupid things you like. Shut up and stop making a fool of yourself."

I gave up on trying to make friends, assumed I was unlikable and just accepted loneliness as my new default. I still wound up with a few scattered friendships here and there, but there was always a part of me that couldn't understand what they saw in me. That's something I still struggle with as an adult so many years later.

The cherry on top though? The last little parting shot of my terrible highschool years? I learned, in my senior year, that my peers all assumed I was The Quiet Kid Who's Going to Snap and Shoot Up the Place. In my depressed silence, everyone filled in the blanks with something they were afraid of and avoided me. In my clueless isolation it just seemed to me like my conclusion that I was unlikable was accurate. When I learned what most people thought of me, I broke down and cried. I've never been a violent person and that huge misunderstanding caused me so much pain.

Huh, guess I've got no problem spilling my guts to random strangers on the internet though...

[necromasker]

I think this video speaks volumes to me. Ever since I was a kid, I used to be that quiet kid that people would often find weird. Never been good at reading social cues. Talking can be and sometimes is really painful to me, as I struggle to find topics people would like to talk about otherness stuff thay I like since I don't really like my country's trending topics and stuff(boring stuff sometimes), and even more so when you try and get to meet strangers because you'd feel like nobody would love you. Even worse, my family-usually my sis and dad- gives me hard time to express myself without correcting me or treating me like a child. I do have hobbies and hangout with my relatives, sometimes with 2 relatives from mother's side, and sometimes my older cousin. However, it gets hard waking up from sleep as you hate yourself for being alive and made the way you are. It got worse during covid as I lost someone I loved and that ruined me. I am better now, just sometimes struggling to love myself. I am different from who I was now, but a bit better. I wanna know how to love myself sometimes, but it gets more difficult every time

[snehasoni]

I used to be talkative person but nowadays I became too quiet. sometimes it gets worst. I have to force myself to say a word 😴

[flumiie]

I've been put as the quiet one in the high school. Even my teacher asks the whole class to be silent and let me speak.

It was the most humiliating & anxious time I've ever been, and I never forget about it. I want to but I kept remembering that moment.

To this day, I still can't continue conversations between my colleagues and families. I need the other to start speaking first before I can even start.