r/TrueOffMyChest | CALLED OFF Wedding After Fiance's MISTAKE | Full Reddit Story #26

#reddit #redditstories #relationship #story #marriage #wife #trueoffmychest #aitah #boyfriend

[thejoel]

“If this is how you treat family, I can’t imagine how you’re going to treat our kids”

If this is how you respect your husband, I can’t imagine how you’re going to respect your kids

[jsb]

In my experience, it typically takes something very profound for a child to make the decision to go NC with a parent. You have to trust in the person's knowledge of what it means to be their parents' child- they have decades of experience. It's pretty crappy to throw OP's fear of not being emotionally available for his children in his face.

[chrisd]

She clearly isn't if she chose to step on your boundaries. Now she faces the consequences of disregarding your feelings and boundary

[kabirsardana]

breach of trust is a marine thing. if she cant even listen to you for this little detail and basically has to over ride you on such an important thing, she will continue to do this your whole life.

she basically went over your head, colluded with your abusive mother and decided to call your abusive father after being told specifically that you didnt want him there.

not worth traits from someone who you plan on marrying.

[greeneyelove]

The fact she went behind is back says it all. She thinks she knows best and she has no respect for him or his feelings or his emotional wellbeing. Op needs to cut ties with her as well. She will always think she knows best and if they have children, any thoughts he has on how to raise them will be dismissed because again, she thinks she knows best. Cut ties with her and cut ties with mom because they are toxic.

[mztweety]

Family ain't always good. People need to understand that.
When someone tells you about their traumatic past, believe them.

[shmoopyroo]

bro run, she cant use your secrets and traumas against you and she knows you went no contact with your dad, she KNOWS you dont want him there and still went behind your back and invited him. even if you dont break up dont get married yet if she cant respect your biggest boundary and used your fear of messing up raising your kids against you.

[cellsentinel]

The worst part is she didn’t deduce this would be a good thing for the op. She knew that he didn’t want his father but she did it anyways. If she cannot even do that in front of you without further discussion who knows what she will do in the future

[magicjewel]

I speak from experience...we do not live in a Lifetime Movie.

I often imagined that someone would go behind my back, talk to my family and then somehow everything would be perfect forever...

But it doesn't go that way.

You get back in touch with the person you went No contact with and discover that lo and behold, they haven't changed.

She broke his trust, did exactly what he didn't want her to do and she did it for the sake of a big dream that at that specific time, only she was totally on board with.

Either she's egotistical or she's impatient and trying to push you into her ideal life.

Maybe you can work it out, but I won't hold my breath.

[Walhor]

Women: why don't men open up?
Also women:

[untiedshoelaces]

The worst people you can have in your life are the ones who conspire behind your back because of the delusion that they know what is good for you.

[rositagocoo]

Why did he call off the wedding ? So sad, it would end this way .

[dontbelasagna]

He already talked abt his wishes and shared a detailed intimate reasons why he didnt want his dad there..and she ignored it and pushed the matter til he left, and then messaged him abt wanting to talk??? Does she even listen at all or try to understand when he talks abt what he dont want and what he wants at all? And then try to act angelic sending i love you everyday after that to get him back 🤮

[jacobgomos]

OP definitely dodged a huge bullet there. I mean after everything he told his ex fiancée she still betrayed him and went behind his back to invite his dad, that he was no contact with, to their wedding and acted like she was the only who was wronged. And I can’t believe that she had the nerve to say “if this is how you treat family, I can’t imagine how you’re going to treat your kids” which I believe that OP should have fired back with “I’ve seen how horribly my parents treated my siblings and myself, so clearly not like them”. Because seriously, with what OP has seen growing up I have no doubt in my mind that he wouldn’t treat his kids horribly or let them around his parents for them to do the same thing. And to be honest I am in a similar boat where I was abused by a parent in more ways than one so I know what not to do with any kids that I might have.

[blackbird]

You set a boundary. She broke it. If you don't stand your ground, she will continue to do that exact thing throughout the marriage.

[darkwulf]

It’s one of the rules of marriage. If s/o has beef with someone, you have beef with someone

[MrTStat]

Parent or no parent the bigger issue to go over op's head ignore his wishes try to essentially strong arm him into this then gaslighting him with something she knows he is sensitive about
There is a fundamental level of disrespect there

[TheMostPwettyiestPwincess]

When you break someone's trust, you deserve everything that will happen afterwards. Always remember, a woman may have the power to initiate a relationship, but it is a man's commitment that determine how it ends.

[outstretchedwings]

Pro tip: if someone is estranged from a family member, there is a reason for it. Accept it and don't try to push for a reconciliation.

[rainynight]

You had clear set boundaries and sue knew why, and betrayed your trust anyways.

And then she threw another thing youre afraid of in your face... no. Shes a lost cause and already shown manipulative tendencies and will only use that against you in the future.